Is it tacky to have a baby shower if you’re a high earner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s tacky to have hour MIL throw a shower.

How? Most baby shower’s are thrown by the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on what you mean by high earner, if you live in a 12,000sqft house with a pool and staff then yes it’s tacky. If you’re making under 400k a year it’s not tacky.

OP here. We make close to $350k/yr. Most of our family members and friends make under $100k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s tacky to have hour MIL throw a shower.

That’s a really old etiquette rule that no longer applies. Keep up

[Anonymous]

I love a book shower. It helps if someone (the host probably) creates a list online in a Google doc or whatever so you don’t get duplicates. It would be nice imo if the doc has an Amazon list too with some classics in case someone just wants to click quickly and be done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s tacky to have hour MIL throw a shower.

Crawl back to your den and stop causing ppl unnecessary stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I love the book idea in theory, it may a bit difficult in practice. My cousin ended up with five copies of Goodnight Moon when she had a book shower!

Hopefully people included a gift receipt!

[Anonymous]

I'm a doctor, and when I was pregnant I explicitly told my office manager not to have any parties or showers for me. A surprise "sprinkle" was thrown, and I felt so mortified and ashamed that my staff, many of whom make 20x less than I do, would spend money on me. I tried to make it up to them by increasing their holiday bonuses, etc., but I just remember feeling so embarrassed about the whole situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a doctor, and when I was pregnant I explicitly told my office manager not to have any parties or showers for me. A surprise "sprinkle" was thrown, and I felt so mortified and ashamed that my staff, many of whom make 20x less than I do, would spend money on me. I tried to make it up to them by increasing their holiday bonuses, etc., but I just remember feeling so embarrassed about the whole situation.

You probably made them happy! Celebrating a baby is fun...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on what you mean by high earner, if you live in a 12,000sqft house with a pool and staff then yes it’s tacky. If you’re making under 400k a year it’s not tacky.

OP here. We make close to $350k/yr. Most of our family members and friends make under $100k.

This doesn't change my mind. Have a shower with items up to $50, and most at or below $25. Your close friends and family want to celebrate you and it's almost condescending to think about their incomes and assume they can't figure out what they can spend on you. Many people ignore the registry anyway and get an outfit and those kinds of things can easily just be $10-15. I know you are being thoughtful but it's better to just be a normal friend in this situation. It's not like you are having a destination wedding in Hawaii! It's a baby shower.

[Anonymous]

Apparently it’s an old rule that the parents don’t throw a shower, but I still think the optics are bad for MIL to throw a shower abs invite less wealthy relatives to come give you presents. I think it would be fine if a couple of your less wealthy cousins got together and decided to throw the shower, or if you make it more of a celebration and less about gifts. The books are a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a doctor, and when I was pregnant I explicitly told my office manager not to have any parties or showers for me. A surprise "sprinkle" was thrown, and I felt so mortified and ashamed that my staff, many of whom make 20x less than I do, would spend money on me. I tried to make it up to them by increasing their holiday bonuses, etc., but I just remember feeling so embarrassed about the whole situation.

I think this is different and I can see why you were uncomfortable! It sounds like you are the boss at the office. There are ethical and other concerns with gifts for supervisors that don't come into play with friends and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s tacky to have hour MIL throw a shower.

How? Most baby shower’s are thrown by the parents.

It’s been a long time etiquette rule that family members should not throw showers because doing so looks like a gift grab. The rule has relaxed and if you’re not registering for big ticket items, this should be okay.

[Anonymous]

Family members are NEVER supposed to host any type of shower.

[Anonymous]

Why is your MIL asking for gifts for her grandkid? Showers are supposed to be hosted by friends etc.

[Anonymous]

I love these ideas. Books. Recipes. Tips. I also heard about bring a story about parenthood.