Is it tacky to have a baby shower if you’re a high earner?

[Anonymous]

DH and I are on the fence about my MIL throwing us a baby shower. We make far more money compared to many of our family and friends who have been struggling under this economy. We don’t want to seem entitled when we can afford to buy all the things we want. Mil suggested we buy the big ticket items and only put $50 or less gifts on the registry. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

I think it’s fine bc it’s supposed to be a time to get together with the people you care about to celebrate the milestone of having a baby.

You could do a theme like “build the library” and say something like “Larlo and Larla have all the baby basics covered, but they’d like your help to build Larletto’s library, so bring your favorite children’s book or book recommendations.”

[Anonymous]

No it’s not tacky but agree with your mil re: registering for reasonably priced items if you’re going to register. ( also, tacky would be declining a shower from the riff raff because they might make unwise decisions and spend too much on onesies.)

[Anonymous]

Why not call it a 'Baby Celebration' and make it clear on the invitation that no gifts are necessary. Some people will want to bring a gift and some people will be relieved of the financial burden.

[Anonymous]

It's a joyful event not a swag grab. Agree with books idea.

[Anonymous]

I love the books idea. After that it's more about celebrating the baby. No one needs to buy a stroller.

[Anonymous]

I love the books idea.

[Anonymous]

We are a family of wealth, and for the showers (only 2 and for specific groups, friends and people who don't have as much) we had a theme. One was Baby's First Christmas--bring an ornament, and the kid's book shower. Both were so fun and and no one had to worry that their present would fall short. The Christmas ornament one was so great! Some people brought ornaments from their own past, others made them. It's been many years and we still hang many of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No it’s not tacky but agree with your mil re: registering for reasonably priced items if you’re going to register. ( also, tacky would be declining a shower from the riff raff because they might make unwise decisions and spend too much on onesies.)

People can wish you well even if you are rich.

Agree with just putting $50 or less items on the registry and use judgment. Don't register for the $50 vinyl windscreen that goes on the $800 stroller.

Ask people to fill out a card with their top tips on parenting. That can be a party game, too. To do them on the spot then read aloud.

Strive to make the party personal, loving, and fun.

I've never been to a shower that seemed like a cash grab. I know all kinds of people. A shower is really a community celebration. We are a long way from our village days but the value of these traditions is still there buried under all the commercialism.

[Anonymous]

Ive gone to many book showers. People brought a couple baby and kid books they liked. Jt was sweet.

[Anonymous]

Go with book idea. Your guests will enjoy bringing something that might have meaning to them, and thus perhaps to you too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fine bc it’s supposed to be a time to get together with the people you care about to celebrate the milestone of having a baby.

You could do a theme like “build the library” and say something like “Larlo and Larla have all the baby basics covered, but they’d like your help to build Larletto’s library, so bring your favorite children’s book or book recommendations.”

I like this and wish I thought of it. We didn’t have a shower because my whole family is poor on both sides

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s fine bc it’s supposed to be a time to get together with the people you care about to celebrate the milestone of having a baby.

You could do a theme like “build the library” and say something like “Larlo and Larla have all the baby basics covered, but they’d like your help to build Larletto’s library, so bring your favorite children’s book or book recommendations.”

We had a book shower and it was lovely - but people do tend to default to the absolute classics, so you will end up with 3 copies of Cat in the Hat, etc., if your organizers don't get a little bit clever about it. Ask people to bring a copy of their own childrens' favorites, or even a book for any age up to (for example) 10 years old, so that there is some variety. For something even lower-cost and more ecological, you could invite people to bring the actual copy that their family has treasured / finished enjoying.

OT / related: I attended a bridal shower where we were almost all broke students, and everyone was asked to write out by hand a beloved family recipe and bring it along to fill a box. Several folks added a kitchen utensil or a spice jar. It was utterly lovely and heartfelt. There are probably lots of ways something like this could be adapted for a baby shower.

[Anonymous]

Book idea.

[Anonymous]

Ask the host to tell people you want everyone's favorite childhood book.