Is it tacky to have a baby shower if you’re a high earner?

[Anonymous]

Ugh the people who say parents cannot throw showers need to stop. Not everyone lives in the etiquette world where the mom has seven close friends to finance a shower. Completely ridiculous expectation that others should finance the party

[Anonymous]

The idea of non-material items may also work for Jewish parents to be who follow the tradition of not having things for baby in the home before baby arrives. Many baby stores in NYC would hold purchases until getting a call that baby had arrived. I don’t know how many people follow this, but, after a miscarriage, I sure did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not call it a 'Baby Celebration' and make it clear on the invitation that no gifts are necessary. Some people will want to bring a gift and some people will be relieved of the financial burden.

+1

Then if people insist on a gift, tell them a small target gift card is fine. You'll use it for diapers or other baby stuff anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh the people who say parents cannot throw showers need to stop. Not everyone lives in the etiquette world where the mom has seven close friends to finance a shower. Completely ridiculous expectation that others should finance the party

+1. I am an etiquette stickler but not for this one. Anyone can host it but the couple.

[Anonymous]

It’s fine. Just do a book shower. Instead of pricey gifts ask everyone to give their favorite children’s book.

[Anonymous]

It's beyond tacky to have your family host one for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh the people who say parents cannot throw showers need to stop. Not everyone lives in the etiquette world where the mom has seven close friends to finance a shower. Completely ridiculous expectation that others should finance the party

But in this case, the mother-to-be doesn't even need the stuff.

Wait until the baby is born and have a meet-the-baby party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are on the fence about my MIL throwing us a baby shower. We make far more money compared to many of our family and friends who have been struggling under this economy. We don’t want to seem entitled when we can afford to buy all the things we want. Mil suggested we buy the big ticket items and only put $50 or less gifts on the registry. WWYD?

Showers are gift grabs are tacky no matter the income. Gift registries are also tacky. Women today have good paying jobs and all they want us $$$$$. I have received invitations that state "no box gifts " so I wrapped gift in a bag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Book idea is tacky

Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh the people who say parents cannot throw showers need to stop. Not everyone lives in the etiquette world where the mom has seven close friends to finance a shower. Completely ridiculous expectation that others should finance the party

+1. I am an etiquette stickler but not for this one. Anyone can host it but the couple.

Why can’t the couple? If we’re at the anything goes point, then anything goes. It’s ok to host your own birthday party, what’s the difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh the people who say parents cannot throw showers need to stop. Not everyone lives in the etiquette world where the mom has seven close friends to finance a shower. Completely ridiculous expectation that others should finance the party

Etiquette is important. Throwing a gift grab for yourself or your child is gauche. Showers were originally for brides who were going from their parents home to her home as a new wife where she would need many things to set up housekeeping. Today women have good jobs and have lived on their own and, often, live with several different men prior to marrying one of them. She already has what she needs to set up housekeeping. Baby shower were for first time mothers because she has no baby paraphernalia and showers were hosted by friends who were not close family me members.

All showers today are nothing but gift grabs by gift grabbers.

[Anonymous]

We do the book idea and they write a note on the 1st page.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh the people who say parents cannot throw showers need to stop. Not everyone lives in the etiquette world where the mom has seven close friends to finance a shower. Completely ridiculous expectation that others should finance the party

Etiquette is important. Throwing a gift grab for yourself or your child is gauche. Showers were originally for brides who were going from their parents home to her home as a new wife where she would need many things to set up housekeeping. Today women have good jobs and have lived on their own and, often, live with several different men prior to marrying one of them. She already has what she needs to set up housekeeping. Baby shower were for first time mothers because she has no baby paraphernalia and showers were hosted by friends who were not close family me members.

All showers today are nothing but gift grabs by gift grabbers.

It’s obviously not important since so few people follow it or have their own ideas of what is or isn’t appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh the people who say parents cannot throw showers need to stop. Not everyone lives in the etiquette world where the mom has seven close friends to finance a shower. Completely ridiculous expectation that others should finance the party

+1. I am an etiquette stickler but not for this one. Anyone can host it but the couple.

Why can’t the couple? If we’re at the anything goes point, then anything goes. It’s ok to host your own birthday party, what’s the difference?

Haha I see your point. I guess I understand why a MIL would host or co-host (though I have only ever seen a co-host situation where the mom-to-be's friends host and a mom or MIL pays some of the cost to help out). I guess I don't see the grandparents helping out as a gift grab bc typically it's to defray costs for the other (younger) hosts. Plus I assume the best intentions of my friends and don't think they are selfish. I am happy to go and bring a generous gift and I don't care if grandma paid the caterer.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to dissent and say that I think it's a little tacky when high earning moms-to-be have a shower. Especially if she's 35+.