DD just blew $400 at Sephora

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have her work it off. Explain how much you’re paying her per hour and how many hours it would take to earn enough to pay for it.

This is the best way to give kids the context they need to understand budgeting for things that aren’t necessities.

Unfortunately I’m not surprised she was able to spend $400 in Sephora easily. As a pp said, things add up quickly there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also OP, I would really try to separate the “morality” of whether $400 is “too much” for skincare. If I wanted to, I would drop that much on skincare. I’ll probably spend more than that on lasers and Botox this fall. The language about what is “ridiculous” and what is “appropriate” and all of that imo is really unhelpful. What matters is the numbers. She needs to get a handle on her numbers and manage them how she wants. That means her whole personal financial picture, her goals (savings for a car? College? Anything like that on the horizon) and her income. Imo it’s fine if it’s an allowance from you and also fine if it includes a car, college spending money, whatever! The important thing is that you lay it all out and she has the knowledge to know how blowing $400 at Sephora is going to fit in her plan and her means.

Whether or not drunk elephant is “worth it” is really a separate conversation imo. Buying $20 of Suave is a problem if you don’t have $20 in the budget for it. Buying $600 eye cream might be fine if it’s in the budget.

There are virtually no circumstances under which $600 eye cream should be in the budget for a teenager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also OP, I would really try to separate the “morality” of whether $400 is “too much” for skincare. If I wanted to, I would drop that much on skincare. I’ll probably spend more than that on lasers and Botox this fall. The language about what is “ridiculous” and what is “appropriate” and all of that imo is really unhelpful. What matters is the numbers. She needs to get a handle on her numbers and manage them how she wants. That means her whole personal financial picture, her goals (savings for a car? College? Anything like that on the horizon) and her income. Imo it’s fine if it’s an allowance from you and also fine if it includes a car, college spending money, whatever! The important thing is that you lay it all out and she has the knowledge to know how blowing $400 at Sephora is going to fit in her plan and her means.

Whether or not drunk elephant is “worth it” is really a separate conversation imo. Buying $20 of Suave is a problem if you don’t have $20 in the budget for it. Buying $600 eye cream might be fine if it’s in the budget.

There are virtually no circumstances under which $600 eye cream should be in the budget for a teenager.

Lol!! Or anyone, for that matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand when parents give their children access to their credit or debit cards and then get upset when they use them unwisely.

If the child were 12, sure. But 16 is old enough to know how to use money responsibly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering if there is an underlying insecurity that prompted this? Is she breaking out? Or does she feel less pretty than her friends? My daughter went through a period where she felt especially insecure about her looks and spent lots of money on skincare products - she said she wanted "that shiny, perfect, rich girl look." Ironically all of the K-beauty products made her skin so much worse.

So my advice is to talk it out rather than approach it punitively. Then come to an agreement about which products to return.

Almost everybody has insecurities. Most people know not to blow $400 dollars in one session on beauty products.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids have Apple Pay linked to parent cards. Many of their friends do too. I don’t think that’s the issue. The issue is that OP’s DD thought this meant carte Blanche spending for her. Apple Pay must be given with limitations.

You and your friends are idiots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Importantly, did she get a bag or two?

hilarious!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your daughter an autist?

I was going to ask that. Something is off. Op is leaving something out.
Mine has a CC, but would text me asap before spending over $100. Also, how do you not get a text the minute the card is used and where. I could have called and have her return some stuff on the spot.

[Anonymous]

For me it would depend on how much you normally give her to spend with friends, etc or on splurge items that she would use her own money for is she had a job or allowance? If none, or not a lot, then sit down with her and review her items. I'm sure there are some unnecessarily expensive things there that can be returned or exchanged for something similar that costs less. You can return opened items to Sephora too.

My 15 year old just started earning regular allowance for this same reason. Before I would give money for movies, food with friends, video games, etc because I wasn't giving him a consistent way to earn money. He now can save and budget and it does add up quickly for him, especially when you add in birthday and holiday money. He has bought himself some nice things with his own money that I would not normally buy for him and it definitely helps kids prioritize!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering if there is an underlying insecurity that prompted this? Is she breaking out? Or does she feel less pretty than her friends? My daughter went through a period where she felt especially insecure about her looks and spent lots of money on skincare products - she said she wanted "that shiny, perfect, rich girl look." Ironically all of the K-beauty products made her skin so much worse.

So my advice is to talk it out rather than approach it punitively. Then come to an agreement about which products to return.

Ugh, there are so many kids feeling this way and it is inevitable. SM is the perfect marketing tool for expensive cosmetics, and the influencers have been very successful at pushing things like Drunk Elephant. If a kid has to spend their own money it can be a good lesson. But yeah — ugh, so much wrapped up in that “shiny perfect rich girl look” stuff.

[Anonymous]

I think that OP is wealthy and that her DD is accustomed to seeing large sums being spent. We are not poor by any chance but we are not dropping 1000s left and right every time we go out. My 10 and 13 yo would understand that this is too much money for a single outing for makeup/book/clothes... The only way the teen could be so clueless is if the parents are wealthy. Or she felt pressured to impress (but in that case $100 would be too much for OP as well).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand when parents give their children access to their credit or debit cards and then get upset when they use them unwisely.

Right. I mean 16-year-olds are impulsive. And dumb. This is on OP.

My 15 year old has access to ours. He texts us before he uses it every time and that’s usually for $10 at McDonald’s. It works for some kids and not for others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make that fool return then

This.

I don't care if she's embarrassed. She doesnt get to just charge 400 dollars of make up to my card

[Anonymous]

You have never taught her any financial literacy skills or expected her to manage money. I assume you are raising her to be looked after and taken care of and have her life paid for by a rich man. So buying make-up is good in a traditional gender role, the woman needs to look pretty and the man buysh er things. Seems like you are preparing her well for the life you think she will have.

Unforunate for her that she isn't seen as having any value or worth beyond make-up but ah well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hell to the no
My kid would be:
She will return
All by herself
And she would take a Dave Ramsey course on the weekends

dramatic much

It doesn't sound like OP had a discussion with her DD about what's allowed and how to spend money. So I'd start there.

That's an interesting take.

How about the fact that this kid has zero money of her own and going into a store, automatically thinks $400 is a perfectly acceptable amount to spend. Sounds like she thinks it's Monopoly money.

It sounds like she was allowed to use the card for dinner, etc? The OP seemed to think spending $100 at Sephora would have been fine but spending $400 was way too much and I don’t see how the kid would have known that without being told. That’s a pretty fine line.

Seriously? Man, some of y'all have low LOW expectations of your kid's intelligence/common sense.

My daughter is two years younger than OP's daughter, and I will occasionally give her my credit card if she's going out with friends and the activity will require money (mostly bc I never have cash on me). Like last night she and her friends went to a HS soccer game and I gave her my CC with the direction that she was free to use it if she and her friends wanted to walk to get dinner afterwards...it did not even cross my mind to instruct her that by "dinner" I meant a $20 for pizza and a drink at &pizza or something...not a $100 three course meal at some sit down restaurant on Bethesda Row. Because common sense.

How is that common sense? That’s just a personal budget. That has nothing to do with “common sense.”