DD just blew $400 at Sephora

[Anonymous]

Well, to start, your dd had access to 400$, that’s on you as parents.

I would approach it from a financial responsibility perspective and talk to her about the purchase, if it makes sense. Since she hasn’t worked, she probably doesn’t pay taxes, utilities, health insurance, or any other things. She’s pretty clueless about the value and opportunity of this money. This is fine. But it’s also a teaching moment and opportunity to explain these things. I wouldn’t make her return anything, but would definitely discuss and leave it up to her what to do with these things. And may be add limits to her account.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it really makes sense that kids will end up fiscally responsible just by knowing what people in a middle income bracket would consider “outrageous.”

Here are my issues with it:

1) the “outrageous” meter really moves around at different income levels. There are low income families out there who would consider taking the family to McDonalds “outrageous” and that’s totally valid. But there are other moms on this thread who see going to McDonalds as a symbol of fiscal restraint. I’m not sure it’s that helpful to try to peg an “outrageous” meter to a summer job wage or whatever. I’m even less convinced that it’s sufficient or teaches “the value of a dollar.”

2) lots of low income people who have lived with “the value of a dollar” are fiscally irresponsible. I see no evidence that people who have lived on a working class salary are really better at managing money. Having fewer assets is something of a floor for how much you can lose/squander, but I’m not sure it is that effective at building skills.

3) so many of the people on this thread are using shame as the main strategy. I don’t ascribe to that morally, but I also don’t think it’s effective. All that teaches a 16 year old imo is to hide any financial problems from you in the future.

I think OP’s problem is that they haven’t had a strategy at all. But the ones with solid theories of action seem to be:

1) transparency about family finances and spending, so kids can make connections between income, long term goals, and day to day spending

2) managing their own budgets, which are likely to be all parent support or a combo

3) have budget categories with distinct funding streams, usually a job, chores, and/or gifts.


Personally, I’m not convinced it makes sense to have kids working just for discretionary spending. I don’t know how to fix that, because I appreciate that parents don’t want their dollars supporting Starbucks, and having the kid use “their” money for those categories helps by eliminating those disagreements. But if a kid is working a summer job, why shouldn’t that be part of the grocery budget, if everyone is still living as a household unit? Maybe that’s an okay on ramp to budgeting, but it’s a little misleading. People don’t work jobs just for “fun money.” I think parents do it mainly so they can stop having the Starbucks argument, not because it makes a lot of sense as financial education. There’s probably middle ground that makes sense.

[Anonymous]

PP I love you

[Anonymous]

Many UMC wives do work for "fun money" though.
They often have distorted finances and spending problems, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You “put your foot down” by letting her keep $400 worth of unauthorized purchases and giving her her own credit card. For which she was “not happy”.

No words Op. You’re doing your DD a huge disservice.

+1

Kid is on her way to being a sugar baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who think $400 is hard to spend at Sephora are nuts. Most items there are $20-$30 minimum, and many are higher. A bag of 15-20 things could easily be $400. That being said make her return it, of course she doesn’t keep it.

Who would buy 15-20 things all at once?!

This is so easy. Shampoo, conditioner, hair serum ALONE runs me $100 at Ulta (Redken brand). Then let’s say you get foundation and concealer - there’s another $85. Then you get some Rare beauty blush, and a new brush for that- $50. An eyeshadow palette- $75. Charlotte Tilbury highlighter - $40. A few lip products - $75. A fragrance - $100. Whoops, you’re there.

Whoops you’re wear? If you’re spending $75 on an eyeshadow palette and that doesn’t give you pause you have no better financial sense than the OP’s teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who think $400 is hard to spend at Sephora are nuts. Most items there are $20-$30 minimum, and many are higher. A bag of 15-20 things could easily be $400. That being said make her return it, of course she doesn’t keep it.

Who would buy 15-20 things all at once?!

This is so easy. Shampoo, conditioner, hair serum ALONE runs me $100 at Ulta (Redken brand). Then let’s say you get foundation and concealer - there’s another $85. Then you get some Rare beauty blush, and a new brush for that- $50. An eyeshadow palette- $75. Charlotte Tilbury highlighter - $40. A few lip products - $75. A fragrance - $100. Whoops, you’re there.

Whoops you’re wear? If you’re spending $75 on an eyeshadow palette and that doesn’t give you pause you have no better financial sense than the OP’s teen.

They are explaining how someone could spend that much. Everything at Sephora is overpriced. If I went there with no spending limit, I could probably spend $1000 on things that I want.

[Anonymous]

Get your teens checking accounts at your bank with debit cards. You can transfer money to them easily in the app. They can deposit money they make in there as well. When they run out, they run out. Why do people put their credit cards on teenagers' Apple Pay? When my teenagers asked me to do that, I just said "you will never have a credit card that you don't see the bill for."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Should I make her return it all?

YES. All of it.

+1

Well, anything that’s been unused I would return. Or maybe everything minus for $20 limit.

[Anonymous]

Not sure why this is such a problem. You make her pay for everything. She can figure out how to do this, through some combination of returns, selling her stuff, earning money, or working for you around the house (at a minimum-wage-level rate).

This is not a difficult or unfixable problem.

Next time, don't let your child use your credit to buy stuff without your explicit permission.

[Anonymous]

It's probably time for her to start dating. Maybe she can find a high-potential college boyfriend who can pay for her beauty routine.

[Anonymous]

Can you tell if the buying was intentional? Is the DD usually like this? If not, I would return all of the items.

If she had asked you before going, what budget would you have given her? IMO use that and have her select what to keep (assuming it wasn’t zero), and make sure she knows to ask before spending (you pick if that’s anything or above a certain amount)

Also, many credit cards allow you to add limits on spending for additional members, you can easily get her an additional member card on your card and add a max limit (usually also have a warning amount limit) But, if she knowing goes above an agreed limit again, you likely have a deeper issue to work through with her, the card limit would just be a financial safety measure for you.

[Anonymous]

Sephora lets you return used products if you don’t like it. I bought some Gucci face mist after a hard sell. The salesperson swore everyone loved it. Tried it for a week and didn’t see think it was great - nice packaging and smelled good, but nothing else. $80 returned, no questions asked.

[Anonymous]

Return now. I love makeup, but I don't go to Sephora besides for foundation which I try not to use except on dates and special occasions. I am 29. I spend about $125 a year on makeup. But I'm frugal. $400 is outrageous. Dcum thinks it's normal because they are rich snobs who are obsessed with consumerism.

[Anonymous]

I’d have her return it and then I’d go shopping with her and teach her about value.