DD just blew $400 at Sephora

[Anonymous]

Teens are influenced by the peers and she probably was caught up in the excitement of shopping with her friends. She wanted to fit in and went along with their and the salespeople’s recommendations. I remember being that age and not having money to spend like my friends. You feel bad. I would go over the purchase with her and have her return the unopened items. The opened ones she should be expected to reimburse you for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have never taught her any financial literacy skills or expected her to manage money. I assume you are raising her to be looked after and taken care of and have her life paid for by a rich man. So buying make-up is good in a traditional gender role, the woman needs to look pretty and the man buysh er things. Seems like you are preparing her well for the life you think she will have.

Unforunate for her that she isn't seen as having any value or worth beyond make-up but ah well.

This makes no sense. If anything, they’re raising her to be taken care of by her parents. Which is not without its problems but imo is a way better gig than being taken care of by a “rich man.” Who knows if OP’s kid wants that or is even hot enough to find one. That’s not an easy job to land.

Plus lots of perfectly content women with fulfilling careers drop $400 now and then at Sephora. It’s not a huge deal if you can afford it. Which the OP’s daughter clearly thought she could! She had access to the funds and she showed everything to her mom. Her mom was fine with her spending $100 at Sephora, but not $400. But it doesn’t sound like she had explained that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make that fool return then

This.

And if she pretends her friends will pay her for what she charged, BS.

Tell her to go study.

At least now you know you have a sucker

[Anonymous]

Troll

[Anonymous]

I’d make her return most if not all of it. Sephora has a decent return policy and you can return stuff even if opened. However … do be prepared that a friend or “friends” may have pressured your daughter into buying stuff for them. If your daughter comes home with only a few lip balms and a moisturizer but a charge for $400, you’ll know something’s up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not big on makeup and skincare, so I've never really been to Sephora. However, DD16 and friends were hanging around Georgetown to shop and get dinner. DD has apple pay (my credit card) on her phone, but I had given her about $20 in cash just in case.

They ended up going into Sephora and DD bought some items. She showed them to me when she came home and it was about 10 things. I assumed it was maybe $100.

However, I looked at the notification Apple Pay sends when something is purchased using the card. It was upwards of $400. I'm absolutely shocked. DD has never had a job because I want her to focus on school. However, she's always been pretty unmaterialistic and responsible with money. This makes me wonder if she was feeling pressured to get stuff because her friends were there.

I don't know what to do. Should I make her return it all? Should I just let her have it? I'm lost.

Everything gets returned. Make the friend go with you so your daughter is sufficiently humiliated

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why it matters that it was Sephora? Would it be OK if it was Target?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not big on makeup and skincare, so I've never really been to Sephora. However, DD16 and friends were hanging around Georgetown to shop and get dinner. DD has apple pay (my credit card) on her phone, but I had given her about $20 in cash just in case.

They ended up going into Sephora and DD bought some items. She showed them to me when she came home and it was about 10 things. I assumed it was maybe $100.

However, I looked at the notification Apple Pay sends when something is purchased using the card. It was upwards of $400. I'm absolutely shocked. DD has never had a job because I want her to focus on school. However, she's always been pretty unmaterialistic and responsible with money. This makes me wonder if she was feeling pressured to get stuff because her friends were there.

I don't know what to do. Should I make her return it all? Should I just let her have it? I'm lost.

Everything gets returned. Make the friend go with you so your daughter is sufficiently humiliated

The only person who should be humiliated is the OP. The DD apparently didn’t have any kind of spending limit. She didn’t hide these purchases - she didn’t know they were a problem.

[Anonymous]

You have her $20 and she charged $400? Yes she returns all but $20 worth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not big on makeup and skincare, so I've never really been to Sephora. However, DD16 and friends were hanging around Georgetown to shop and get dinner. DD has apple pay (my credit card) on her phone, but I had given her about $20 in cash just in case.

They ended up going into Sephora and DD bought some items. She showed them to me when she came home and it was about 10 things. I assumed it was maybe $100.

However, I looked at the notification Apple Pay sends when something is purchased using the card. It was upwards of $400. I'm absolutely shocked. DD has never had a job because I want her to focus on school. However, she's always been pretty unmaterialistic and responsible with money. This makes me wonder if she was feeling pressured to get stuff because her friends were there.

I don't know what to do. Should I make her return it all? Should I just let her have it? I'm lost.

Everything gets returned. Make the friend go with you so your daughter is sufficiently humiliated

The only person who should be humiliated is the OP. The DD apparently didn’t have any kind of spending limit. She didn’t hide these purchases - she didn’t know they were a problem.

Yes she returns all but $20 but OP also apologizes to say clearly she hasn’t been clear on spending— so maybe all but $40 as a $20 penalty to parent. And be clear what your limits are for future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not big on makeup and skincare, so I've never really been to Sephora. However, DD16 and friends were hanging around Georgetown to shop and get dinner. DD has apple pay (my credit card) on her phone, but I had given her about $20 in cash just in case.

They ended up going into Sephora and DD bought some items. She showed them to me when she came home and it was about 10 things. I assumed it was maybe $100.

However, I looked at the notification Apple Pay sends when something is purchased using the card. It was upwards of $400. I'm absolutely shocked. DD has never had a job because I want her to focus on school. However, she's always been pretty unmaterialistic and responsible with money. This makes me wonder if she was feeling pressured to get stuff because her friends were there.

I don't know what to do. Should I make her return it all? Should I just let her have it? I'm lost.

How can people not see that this is clearly a troll and it didn’t happen? Are you people that naive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not big on makeup and skincare, so I've never really been to Sephora. However, DD16 and friends were hanging around Georgetown to shop and get dinner. DD has apple pay (my credit card) on her phone, but I had given her about $20 in cash just in case.

They ended up going into Sephora and DD bought some items. She showed them to me when she came home and it was about 10 things. I assumed it was maybe $100.

However, I looked at the notification Apple Pay sends when something is purchased using the card. It was upwards of $400. I'm absolutely shocked. DD has never had a job because I want her to focus on school. However, she's always been pretty unmaterialistic and responsible with money. This makes me wonder if she was feeling pressured to get stuff because her friends were there.

I don't know what to do. Should I make her return it all? Should I just let her have it? I'm lost.

Everything gets returned. Make the friend go with you so your daughter is sufficiently humiliated

The only person who should be humiliated is the OP. The DD apparently didn’t have any kind of spending limit. She didn’t hide these purchases - she didn’t know they were a problem.

Yes she returns all but $20 but OP also apologizes to say clearly she hasn’t been clear on spending— so maybe all but $40 as a $20 penalty to parent. And be clear what your limits are for future.

You want OP to apologize to her daughter for her greedily spending $400 without permission? Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not big on makeup and skincare, so I've never really been to Sephora. However, DD16 and friends were hanging around Georgetown to shop and get dinner. DD has apple pay (my credit card) on her phone, but I had given her about $20 in cash just in case.

They ended up going into Sephora and DD bought some items. She showed them to me when she came home and it was about 10 things. I assumed it was maybe $100.

However, I looked at the notification Apple Pay sends when something is purchased using the card. It was upwards of $400. I'm absolutely shocked. DD has never had a job because I want her to focus on school. However, she's always been pretty unmaterialistic and responsible with money. This makes me wonder if she was feeling pressured to get stuff because her friends were there.

I don't know what to do. Should I make her return it all? Should I just let her have it? I'm lost.

Everything gets returned. Make the friend go with you so your daughter is sufficiently humiliated

I hope you are not a parent. Humiliating your child serves no one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not big on makeup and skincare, so I've never really been to Sephora. However, DD16 and friends were hanging around Georgetown to shop and get dinner. DD has apple pay (my credit card) on her phone, but I had given her about $20 in cash just in case.

They ended up going into Sephora and DD bought some items. She showed them to me when she came home and it was about 10 things. I assumed it was maybe $100.

However, I looked at the notification Apple Pay sends when something is purchased using the card. It was upwards of $400. I'm absolutely shocked. DD has never had a job because I want her to focus on school. However, she's always been pretty unmaterialistic and responsible with money. This makes me wonder if she was feeling pressured to get stuff because her friends were there.

I don't know what to do. Should I make her return it all? Should I just let her have it? I'm lost.

Everything gets returned. Make the friend go with you so your daughter is sufficiently humiliated

I hope you are not a parent. Humiliating your child serves no one.

original.
+1!
How draconian

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hell to the no
My kid would be:
She will return
All by herself
And she would take a Dave Ramsey course on the weekends

dramatic much

It doesn't sound like OP had a discussion with her DD about what's allowed and how to spend money. So I'd start there.

That's an interesting take.

How about the fact that this kid has zero money of her own and going into a store, automatically thinks $400 is a perfectly acceptable amount to spend. Sounds like she thinks it's Monopoly money.

It sounds like she was allowed to use the card for dinner, etc? The OP seemed to think spending $100 at Sephora would have been fine but spending $400 was way too much and I don’t see how the kid would have known that without being told. That’s a pretty fine line.

+1. It’s really not that hard to spend $400 at Sephora. My parents gave me a credit card when I was in HS too on the understanding that it would be used for reasonable expenses (like getting pizza after going to the movies, lunch out once or twice a week, and yes, occasional shopping at the mall). They never gave me a specific dollar amount but I deduced “reasonable” from their spending habits.

If OP is generally wealthy and hasn’t had a specific conversation with DD, I can see how maybe $400 wouldn’t seem like a crazy amount to a teenager. Especially if it’s only 4-5 things. I’d just be more clear about it, OP. Like establish that $100 is the budget for shopping trips with friends. And if you can afford it, just let it go this time.