Less scheduled kids - how are they faring in high school and beyond?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister has three older kids. They were not intense about activities (kids did whatever gymnastics, dance, sports classes they wanted after school in elementary school, but my sister and her husband work so each kid did 1-2 things of their choice and they coordinated carpools or did activities on weekends.) as the kids entered middle and high school, they were on athletic teams and academic extracurriculars at their private school.

My oldest niece is a freshman at a top tier college (working hard pre-med), middle sibling is among top of their class in eleventh grade, and youngest is in middle school. They’re well adjusted, kind and hard working kids.

confused by this post. you describe heavily scheduled kids, but you are saying they weren't heavily scheduled? these are not examples of under scheduled children.

+1
carpooling and doing activities on the weekend does not mean you are not "over scheduled". it means the only way to meet your schedule is to use weekends/carpooling.

I’m confused. I don’t think a kid doing 1-2 activities per week is overscheduled. If you have three kids, maybe the parents will be very busy, but on an individual basis per kid, 1-2 activities spread out over a 7 day week sounds pretty reasonable. What is OPs definition of over-scheduled? And are they referring to the kids or the parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are an average adult who went to an average college, have an average job and your kids attend an average school, your kid is probably doing fine and will continue your average lives. They can also go to an average college, get an average job, marry a fellow average spouse and repeat. This is probably what happens to most people.

This, pretty much. I also find it odd that we as a society drive kids to do, do, do, all this stuff. But we don't do it as adults. Even before becoming consumed with taking our kids to all this stuff, your typical adult goes to work, hangs out with friends, maybe fits in time to go to the gym and keep up a hobby. So by looking at the adults, our kids learn that doing all this stuff is just about the college resume but is to be dropped as soon as possible. Instead, better to do less, encourage exploration, and finding real interests that you can pursue for the rest of your life.

I find this so sad. Almost nobody from my youth orchestra plays music 20 years later. Almost nobody is doing rec sports. It honestly sends a terrible message to our kids when they don't see the adults in their lives just following them around and doing nothing for enjoyment except "hanging out." The children grow to think the world revolves around them, and they become adults who have no interests and are kind of boring to talk to. A much better model is to continue your hobbies and involve your kids. I have kept up music, and for the past year my toddler-aged son has been obsessed with the violin, constantly "playing" his toy violin at home, at school, at church. My daughter is asking for time to play her real violin (she hasn't started formal lessons yet but I'm doing some basics with her until she demonstrates that she's ready to commit to regular lessons and practice). If we can keep up the enthusiasm, we'll be able to play music together as a family, and my children will see this as a lifelong hobby and not something that you do only until you get your college admission letter.

The adults are now busy with their own kids and can't do all the sports and music they did as kids. Doesn't mean it was wasted.

I played piano when I was a kid, and I play it on and off, and more regularly with my kids (who play violin). I don't have private lessons and recitals anymore. But it's still a part of my life.

[Anonymous]

Most Gen X was not over scheduled because they were the latchkey kids. How did they turn out?

[Anonymous]

There is no corelation between being over/under scheduled and success. Stop trying to make it a thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most Gen X was not over scheduled because they were the latchkey kids. How did they turn out?

What does that have to do with anything. Some turned out well, some didn't, just like any generation. Nothing at all wrong with a free range, not super structured childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most Gen X was not over scheduled because they were the latchkey kids. How did they turn out?

Great! No anxiety or depression. Successful career and kid in college. I enjoy my normal life and my kid was the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no corelation between being over/under scheduled and success. Stop trying to make it a thing

Honestly, what does underscheduled even mean? I don't get that concept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no corelation between being over/under scheduled and success. Stop trying to make it a thing

Honestly, what does underscheduled even mean? I don't get that concept.

It theory, means "shooting hoops with the neighborhood kids outside" instead of going to basketball practice. In reality, it means loafing around and playing on the phone waiting for other kids to return from their "scheduled activities".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no corelation between being over/under scheduled and success. Stop trying to make it a thing

Honestly, what does underscheduled even mean? I don't get that concept.

It theory, means "shooting hoops with the neighborhood kids outside" instead of going to basketball practice. In reality, it means loafing around and playing on the phone waiting for other kids to return from their "scheduled activities".

That's what I thought, in that case, then I think it's better for kids to be underscheduled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no corelation between being over/under scheduled and success. Stop trying to make it a thing

Honestly, what does underscheduled even mean? I don't get that concept.

It theory, means "shooting hoops with the neighborhood kids outside" instead of going to basketball practice. In reality, it means loafing around and playing on the phone waiting for other kids to return from their "scheduled activities".

Well I don't want them on their phones all the time, but they don't need to be constantly busy either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no corelation between being over/under scheduled and success. Stop trying to make it a thing

Honestly, what does underscheduled even mean? I don't get that concept.

It theory, means "shooting hoops with the neighborhood kids outside" instead of going to basketball practice. In reality, it means loafing around and playing on the phone waiting for other kids to return from their "scheduled activities".

I have a son currently trying out for middle school travel select basketball this week. He spent much of elementary shooting hoops with friends after school and never had any basketball skills training. He did not make the select team or AAU team last year. For the past year, he has been going to as many trainings as we could take him to. He was mad at us last year for never signing him up previously.

My other kid plays tennis. He has been playing tennis almost daily since he was in kindergarten. He made the tennnis team in HS. There are other kids who may have played at the local park once a week. They did not make the team.

[Anonymous]

My kid is in high school has straight As and no homework. All honors and AP classes. I dont know why the schools did away with homework. What do you want my kid to do in their free time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in high school has straight As and no homework. All honors and AP classes. I dont know why the schools did away with homework. What do you want my kid to do in their free time?

Be a kid? Hang out with friends and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no corelation between being over/under scheduled and success. Stop trying to make it a thing

Honestly, what does underscheduled even mean? I don't get that concept.

It theory, means "shooting hoops with the neighborhood kids outside" instead of going to basketball practice. In reality, it means loafing around and playing on the phone waiting for other kids to return from their "scheduled activities".

Well I don't want them on their phones all the time, but they don't need to be constantly busy either

The problem is that kids don't know what to do without phones when they have unscheduled time. Unscheduled time makes them uncomfortable. Whose fault it that? Stop signing them up for activities all of the time. My kids did a few activities here and there. None of them were that interesting to keep doing long term but that didn't mean they defaulted to devices. I wouldn't allow them at all during the week. One of mine loved reading and the other liked biking through the neighborhood. They knew how to entertain and occupy themselves without screens and on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in high school has straight As and no homework. All honors and AP classes. I dont know why the schools did away with homework. What do you want my kid to do in their free time?

What kind of joke high school does your child attend? My kid gets tons of work in his AP classes. There is no way your child has no homework if he is taking AP world or US history, AP Calc, AP chem, etc. my kid is getting crushed with work.