A very hot doctor flirted with me today

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t matter. I hope he/she was at least professional and kept their hands to themselves unless medically necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t matter. I hope he/she was at least professional and kept their hands to themselves unless medically necessary.

You don't need to assault someone to harass them or stalk them. You can do plenty of damage while keeping your hands to yourself.

Keep ALL of yourself to yourself, and let your patients do the same. Stay entirely out of their business. Once they leave your office, they disappear. That's the standard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone has flirted with me in a long time. But I'm pretty sure that's what was happening.
Kind of fun! Does this make me a bad person?
basically just a random internet confession seeing as I dont think I can tell anyone obviously IRL.

That's why physicians have to be cautious with patients so no one thinks they are flirting or befriending them.

Correct. The lines need to be clear and the ethical boundaries respected at all times.

You don't send dinner invites, or dick pics (yes, really), and you don't follow their social media, monitor their friends and keep tabs on there whereabouts.

When you leave a clinician's office, the connection should go completely dark until the next session. And no, you may not use their patient file to get their address "just to drive by"

Seriously, how often does this happen? Doctors see hundreds of patients, tight schedules, little private life, so it would be rather rare. I would think the stalking would likely be from a patient who misunderstands the doctor's bedside manner. **I'm not talking about therapists though, I am sure it's frequent on the therapist's side, as well as patient side.

If you play "blame the patient", you're the AH. Doctors don't stay in their offices. That's the whole point. It's not my fault for "misinterpreting" the intentions of a doctor who uses my medical file to get my address, cruise by my house and watch through the windows. If your doctor looks you up on social media and follows your life, that's a violation of ethics and privacy.

Maybe doctors' tight schedules and lack of a private life, plus the massive entitlement complex and arrogance many of them seem to have, make it easy for them to justify their behavior? It's toxic, regardless of their justifications, and it's particularly harmful because people will blame the victims, say we "misunderstand the doctor's bedside manner", etc. when the doctor isn't "bedside" in their office, where they should be, at. all.

Now go back and try to read my previous comment without being a victim-blaming jerk.

You got unlucky. Creeps, stalkers, rapists, assassins sadly live among us. It takes one unlucky encounter to come across one of these vermins. Good for you for reporting them.

Im talking about GPs, specialties. There’s a few creeps, sure, but stalking through is rare, and, yes, it usually is the patient doing that.

That isn't blaming you, PP, who you say was stalked by 3 medical professionals, or victim blaming. I'm saying more doctors deal with patients who misunderstand their caring behavior as flirting or whatever than doctors who have a crush on a patient. My post had zero to do with you, and was addressing another post about no communication between appts (ridiculous...thank goodness for the portal.)

You misunderstood my whole post which, yeah, is making me wonder what else you might have misunderstood in your own situation now that I'm looking at yours.

Doctors have, for sure, been inappropriate, especially in previous decades, as well as today, but continuing to act upon it openly is not practical, ethical, or legal for them, so it really isn't as common as one thinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been stalked by my medical providers before (yes, more than once: 2 psychs and a physio). This is not the sexy fantasy you may want it to be.

The sort of 'professional' who would egregiously violate their code of ethics this way is not the kind of person you want to be involved with. And, if/when they become creepily obsessed with you, and you want them to stop, you'll face the deification of whitecoats when you try to make any sort of report about their behavior. People will accuse you of lying, golddigging, "trying to destroy a good person's reputation"... all the while believing the offender's story because "they're a doctor!" The thin white line works a lot like the thin blue line, and not in your favor.

The moment you recognize this is happening, you need to switch providers. Immediately. And if you feel safe, make a report to their licensing board (though, again, don't expect much from the other doctors who review those). No amount of physical attractiveness should outweigh the amorality of this behavior. The lack of ethics is a MASSIVE red flag.

Avoid!!!

Um, yeah. It’s so hard when doctor after doctor stalks you. It’s definitely not all in your head.

See the part in my comment where I talked about how the average nobody would disbelieve you, even if you were brave enough to speak out?

It do be exactly the fsck like that sometimes.

PP, I don't like wishing ill on people, but I suspect I won't have to. May you be served your own brand someday, or watch someone you love suffer the way I had to, and may it soften your frozen heart and cynical mind. Doctors, like all people, can and do use their position of perceived authority to abuse people with less power.

And yes, it really did happen to me. Jerk.

But two, count them - 2, psychologists? Not MDs. And, you are aware of transference, right? I mean, everyone would need more facts here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t matter. I hope he/she was at least professional and kept their hands to themselves unless medically necessary.

You don't need to assault someone to harass them or stalk them. You can do plenty of damage while keeping your hands to yourself.

Keep ALL of yourself to yourself, and let your patients do the same. Stay entirely out of their business. Once they leave your office, they disappear. That's the standard.

Yeah, there are some of us who really don't want to be forgotten between appts! We have serious life threatening issues, and the relationship is 24/7/365. I don't know what planet you are on. This isn't a cursory check up.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My MD DH used to flirt with the fat smelly ones to get them gone sooner.

Your DH sounds like a real prize, what a lucky winner you are.

His technique backfired because he ended up marrying her. That’s why he doesn’t do it anymore.

LOL