A very hot doctor flirted with me today

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been stalked by my medical providers before (yes, more than once: 2 psychs and a physio). This is not the sexy fantasy you may want it to be.

The sort of 'professional' who would egregiously violate their code of ethics this way is not the kind of person you want to be involved with. And, if/when they become creepily obsessed with you, and you want them to stop, you'll face the deification of whitecoats when you try to make any sort of report about their behavior. People will accuse you of lying, golddigging, "trying to destroy a good person's reputation"... all the while believing the offender's story because "they're a doctor!" The thin white line works a lot like the thin blue line, and not in your favor.

The moment you recognize this is happening, you need to switch providers. Immediately. And if you feel safe, make a report to their licensing board (though, again, don't expect much from the other doctors who review those). No amount of physical attractiveness should outweigh the amorality of this behavior. The lack of ethics is a MASSIVE red flag.

Avoid!!!

op - i think we may be getting ahead of ourselves.

The doc either flirted or didn't. If you're going to allege that it's flirting, you need to walk. Nothing about that is "cute" or "fun".

You're assuming it was her doctor. Maybe it was some random doctor in the elevator

"op - eek yes.
but like orthopedic not like vagina."

The cutesy talk and almost humblebrag nature of the post screams troll, but there's the comment where OP says it was her doctor.

But not her "vagina doctor", which apparently makes it totally fine.

Oh, yikes, I missed that.

Ew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A woman has never flirted with me I must not be attractive enough lol ... But my wife though flirt with me everyday and that's all I need [/quote

I can't believe I am going to say this on the internet but if my DH though this of me I would probably be for him all day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone has flirted with me in a long time. But I'm pretty sure that's what was happening.
Kind of fun! Does this make me a bad person?
basically just a random internet confession seeing as I dont think I can tell anyone obviously IRL.

That's why physicians have to be cautious with patients so no one thinks they are flirting or befriending them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been stalked by my medical providers before (yes, more than once: 2 psychs and a physio). This is not the sexy fantasy you may want it to be.

The sort of 'professional' who would egregiously violate their code of ethics this way is not the kind of person you want to be involved with. And, if/when they become creepily obsessed with you, and you want them to stop, you'll face the deification of whitecoats when you try to make any sort of report about their behavior. People will accuse you of lying, golddigging, "trying to destroy a good person's reputation"... all the while believing the offender's story because "they're a doctor!" The thin white line works a lot like the thin blue line, and not in your favor.

The moment you recognize this is happening, you need to switch providers. Immediately. And if you feel safe, make a report to their licensing board (though, again, don't expect much from the other doctors who review those). No amount of physical attractiveness should outweigh the amorality of this behavior. The lack of ethics is a MASSIVE red flag.

Avoid!!!

Wait —you have been stalked by two psychiatrists? And another doctor as well? Somehow I think this is most like delusional on your part.

I was stalked by my psychiatrist at 18 and another at 31 and a physio in my 40s. Both the psychs got reported, only the latter lost his license. The ordeal made me unwilling to waste my time reporting the physio, knowing I'd be disbelieved.

Y'all need to stop and think what it does to survivors when you doubt them. This is why people don't report.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone has flirted with me in a long time. But I'm pretty sure that's what was happening.
Kind of fun! Does this make me a bad person?
basically just a random internet confession seeing as I dont think I can tell anyone obviously IRL.

That's why physicians have to be cautious with patients so no one thinks they are flirting or befriending them.

Correct. The lines need to be clear and the ethical boundaries respected at all times.

You don't send dinner invites, or dick pics (yes, really), and you don't follow their social media, monitor their friends and keep tabs on there whereabouts.

When you leave a clinician's office, the connection should go completely dark until the next session. And no, you may not use their patient file to get their address "just to drive by"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone has flirted with me in a long time. But I'm pretty sure that's what was happening.
Kind of fun! Does this make me a bad person?
basically just a random internet confession seeing as I dont think I can tell anyone obviously IRL.

That's why physicians have to be cautious with patients so no one thinks they are flirting or befriending them.

Correct. The lines need to be clear and the ethical boundaries respected at all times.

You don't send dinner invites, or dick pics (yes, really), and you don't follow their social media, monitor their friends and keep tabs on there whereabouts.

When you leave a clinician's office, the connection should go completely dark until the next session. And no, you may not use their patient file to get their address "just to drive by"

Seriously, how often does this happen? Doctors see hundreds of patients, tight schedules, little private life, so it would be rather rare. I would think the stalking would likely be from a patient who misunderstands the doctor's bedside manner. **I'm not talking about therapists though, I am sure it's frequent on the therapist's side, as well as patient side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone has flirted with me in a long time. But I'm pretty sure that's what was happening.
Kind of fun! Does this make me a bad person?
basically just a random internet confession seeing as I dont think I can tell anyone obviously IRL.

That's why physicians have to be cautious with patients so no one thinks they are flirting or befriending them.

Correct. The lines need to be clear and the ethical boundaries respected at all times.

You don't send dinner invites, or dick pics (yes, really), and you don't follow their social media, monitor their friends and keep tabs on there whereabouts.

When you leave a clinician's office, the connection should go completely dark until the next session. And no, you may not use their patient file to get their address "just to drive by"

Seriously, how often does this happen? Doctors see hundreds of patients, tight schedules, little private life, so it would be rather rare. I would think the stalking would likely be from a patient who misunderstands the doctor's bedside manner. **I'm not talking about therapists though, I am sure it's frequent on the therapist's side, as well as patient side.

If you play "blame the patient", you're the AH. Doctors don't stay in their offices. That's the whole point. It's not my fault for "misinterpreting" the intentions of a doctor who uses my medical file to get my address, cruise by my house and watch through the windows. If your doctor looks you up on social media and follows your life, that's a violation of ethics and privacy.

Maybe doctors' tight schedules and lack of a private life, plus the massive entitlement complex and arrogance many of them seem to have, make it easy for them to justify their behavior? It's toxic, regardless of their justifications, and it's particularly harmful because people will blame the victims, say we "misunderstand the doctor's bedside manner", etc. when the doctor isn't "bedside" in their office, where they should be, at. all.

Now go back and try to read my previous comment without being a victim-blaming jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been stalked by my medical providers before (yes, more than once: 2 psychs and a physio). This is not the sexy fantasy you may want it to be.

The sort of 'professional' who would egregiously violate their code of ethics this way is not the kind of person you want to be involved with. And, if/when they become creepily obsessed with you, and you want them to stop, you'll face the deification of whitecoats when you try to make any sort of report about their behavior. People will accuse you of lying, golddigging, "trying to destroy a good person's reputation"... all the while believing the offender's story because "they're a doctor!" The thin white line works a lot like the thin blue line, and not in your favor.

The moment you recognize this is happening, you need to switch providers. Immediately. And if you feel safe, make a report to their licensing board (though, again, don't expect much from the other doctors who review those). No amount of physical attractiveness should outweigh the amorality of this behavior. The lack of ethics is a MASSIVE red flag.

Avoid!!!

Wait —you have been stalked by two psychiatrists? And another doctor as well? Somehow I think this is most like delusional on your part.

I was stalked by my psychiatrist at 18 and another at 31 and a physio in my 40s. Both the psychs got reported, only the latter lost his license. The ordeal made me unwilling to waste my time reporting the physio, knowing I'd be disbelieved.

Y'all need to stop and think what it does to survivors when you doubt them. This is why people don't report.

I'm sorry that happened and more than once! I'll never understand people who obsess over others but there are plenty who do just that without shame while the innocent victim ends up being traumatized and dismissed by others. It can be the worst part of the ordeal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait but not your doctor right

op - eek yes.
but like orthopedic not like vagina.

Girl that was not real flirting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been stalked by my medical providers before (yes, more than once: 2 psychs and a physio). This is not the sexy fantasy you may want it to be.

The sort of 'professional' who would egregiously violate their code of ethics this way is not the kind of person you want to be involved with. And, if/when they become creepily obsessed with you, and you want them to stop, you'll face the deification of whitecoats when you try to make any sort of report about their behavior. People will accuse you of lying, golddigging, "trying to destroy a good person's reputation"... all the while believing the offender's story because "they're a doctor!" The thin white line works a lot like the thin blue line, and not in your favor.

The moment you recognize this is happening, you need to switch providers. Immediately. And if you feel safe, make a report to their licensing board (though, again, don't expect much from the other doctors who review those). No amount of physical attractiveness should outweigh the amorality of this behavior. The lack of ethics is a MASSIVE red flag.

Avoid!!!

Wait —you have been stalked by two psychiatrists? And another doctor as well? Somehow I think this is most like delusional on your part.

I was stalked by my psychiatrist at 18 and another at 31 and a physio in my 40s. Both the psychs got reported, only the latter lost his license. The ordeal made me unwilling to waste my time reporting the physio, knowing I'd be disbelieved.

Y'all need to stop and think what it does to survivors when you doubt them. This is why people don't report.

If he lost his license then what made you think you were disbelieved? You don’t sound credible, that is why no one believes you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been stalked by my medical providers before (yes, more than once: 2 psychs and a physio). This is not the sexy fantasy you may want it to be.

The sort of 'professional' who would egregiously violate their code of ethics this way is not the kind of person you want to be involved with. And, if/when they become creepily obsessed with you, and you want them to stop, you'll face the deification of whitecoats when you try to make any sort of report about their behavior. People will accuse you of lying, golddigging, "trying to destroy a good person's reputation"... all the while believing the offender's story because "they're a doctor!" The thin white line works a lot like the thin blue line, and not in your favor.

The moment you recognize this is happening, you need to switch providers. Immediately. And if you feel safe, make a report to their licensing board (though, again, don't expect much from the other doctors who review those). No amount of physical attractiveness should outweigh the amorality of this behavior. The lack of ethics is a MASSIVE red flag.

Avoid!!!

Wait —you have been stalked by two psychiatrists? And another doctor as well? Somehow I think this is most like delusional on your part.

I was stalked by my psychiatrist at 18 and another at 31 and a physio in my 40s. Both the psychs got reported, only the latter lost his license. The ordeal made me unwilling to waste my time reporting the physio, knowing I'd be disbelieved.

Y'all need to stop and think what it does to survivors when you doubt them. This is why people don't report.

If he lost his license then what made you think you were disbelieved? You don’t sound credible, that is why no one believes you.

I don't need to "sound credible" on an anon board (anyone who blindly believes anything here is credible is a few fries short of a happy meal).

You should consider checking your culturally-sanctioned victim-blaming reflex, because the same crap I experienced when I started talking about what happened to me, and it's damaging af.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been stalked by my medical providers before (yes, more than once: 2 psychs and a physio). This is not the sexy fantasy you may want it to be.

The sort of 'professional' who would egregiously violate their code of ethics this way is not the kind of person you want to be involved with. And, if/when they become creepily obsessed with you, and you want them to stop, you'll face the deification of whitecoats when you try to make any sort of report about their behavior. People will accuse you of lying, golddigging, "trying to destroy a good person's reputation"... all the while believing the offender's story because "they're a doctor!" The thin white line works a lot like the thin blue line, and not in your favor.

The moment you recognize this is happening, you need to switch providers. Immediately. And if you feel safe, make a report to their licensing board (though, again, don't expect much from the other doctors who review those). No amount of physical attractiveness should outweigh the amorality of this behavior. The lack of ethics is a MASSIVE red flag.

Avoid!!!

Wait —you have been stalked by two psychiatrists? And another doctor as well? Somehow I think this is most like delusional on your part.

I was stalked by my psychiatrist at 18 and another at 31 and a physio in my 40s. Both the psychs got reported, only the latter lost his license. The ordeal made me unwilling to waste my time reporting the physio, knowing I'd be disbelieved.

Y'all need to stop and think what it does to survivors when you doubt them. This is why people don't report.

I'm sorry that happened and more than once! I'll never understand people who obsess over others but there are plenty who do just that without shame while the innocent victim ends up being traumatized and dismissed by others. It can be the worst part of the ordeal.

Thank you. It was horrific, and has shaped my life to this day, despite many years of therapy (which, as you might imagine, was an ordeal in and of itself!)

Another disturbing point: once you're victimized and traumatized, you become easier prey for the sort of person who is looking for exactly those qualities to exploit. The damage ripples out in all kinds of ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fun, OP!

I was on a business trip last week and sat at the bar with my book and a glass of wine. A man pretty quickly asked what I was reading and started chatting. It was fun at first because I don’t know the last time an unfamiliar man approached me. After he had a few drinks he started telling me, “I’d totally take you upstairs and have sex with you if we weren’t both married” which was less fun. I excused myself and when I emerged from the hotel lobby bathroom he was waiting to “continue our conversation”. That was not fun at all. Actually another woman said “there you are! I know you’re tired and I’ve been looking for you. Let’s get out of here.” She rode the elevator with me for one floor and I appreciated her stepping in.

That’s a bit dramatic 🙄.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone has flirted with me in a long time. But I'm pretty sure that's what was happening.
Kind of fun! Does this make me a bad person?
basically just a random internet confession seeing as I dont think I can tell anyone obviously IRL.

That's why physicians have to be cautious with patients so no one thinks they are flirting or befriending them.

Correct. The lines need to be clear and the ethical boundaries respected at all times.

You don't send dinner invites, or dick pics (yes, really), and you don't follow their social media, monitor their friends and keep tabs on there whereabouts.

When you leave a clinician's office, the connection should go completely dark until the next session. And no, you may not use their patient file to get their address "just to drive by"

Seriously, how often does this happen? Doctors see hundreds of patients, tight schedules, little private life, so it would be rather rare. I would think the stalking would likely be from a patient who misunderstands the doctor's bedside manner. **I'm not talking about therapists though, I am sure it's frequent on the therapist's side, as well as patient side.

If you play "blame the patient", you're the AH. Doctors don't stay in their offices. That's the whole point. It's not my fault for "misinterpreting" the intentions of a doctor who uses my medical file to get my address, cruise by my house and watch through the windows. If your doctor looks you up on social media and follows your life, that's a violation of ethics and privacy.

Maybe doctors' tight schedules and lack of a private life, plus the massive entitlement complex and arrogance many of them seem to have, make it easy for them to justify their behavior? It's toxic, regardless of their justifications, and it's particularly harmful because people will blame the victims, say we "misunderstand the doctor's bedside manner", etc. when the doctor isn't "bedside" in their office, where they should be, at. all.

Now go back and try to read my previous comment without being a victim-blaming jerk.

You got unlucky. Creeps, stalkers, rapists, assassins sadly live among us. It takes one unlucky encounter to come across one of these vermins. Good for you for reporting them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fun, OP!

I was on a business trip last week and sat at the bar with my book and a glass of wine. A man pretty quickly asked what I was reading and started chatting. It was fun at first because I don’t know the last time an unfamiliar man approached me. After he had a few drinks he started telling me, “I’d totally take you upstairs and have sex with you if we weren’t both married” which was less fun. I excused myself and when I emerged from the hotel lobby bathroom he was waiting to “continue our conversation”. That was not fun at all. Actually another woman said “there you are! I know you’re tired and I’ve been looking for you. Let’s get out of here.” She rode the elevator with me for one floor and I appreciated her stepping in.

I do get very drunk. But drunk to the point of telling a stranger I would love to have sex with her has a probability of 0%. And I will say it's the same for 99% of men as well. Sorry you went through that. Just know that most drunk men aren't going to ask you to f**k them.