Upcoming Wedding of a 22 yo couple

[Anonymous]

*than postponing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP

Please do not attend the wedding if you are not happy for the couple.

I agree…but neither the parents or couple can ask why OP isn’t coming.

People are weird and maybe OP is local, so the inviting party may find it strange that OP doesn’t attend.

This works two ways.

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP

Please do not attend the wedding if you are not happy for the couple.

I agree…but neither the parents or couple can ask why OP isn’t coming.

People are weird and maybe OP is local, so the inviting party may find it strange that OP doesn’t attend.

This works two ways.

No.

No what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Met my DH at 21, got engaged at 23, married at 24. Just celebrated our 32nd anniversary. It has not been a train wreck.

+1

Very similar story. Met DH at 20, got engaged at 21 and married at 23/24. Just celebrated 31 years. Very successful life and still going strong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:*than postponing

I think it is pretty different, actually. Postponing due to societal expectations assumes you do really want to marry. Marrying because of religious or family pressure or because you want to have sex assumes outside factors are having a disproportionate impact on that decision. Different motivations for wanting to get married. Presumably the couple that doesn't want to wait two years would also be able to say, screw it let's go to the courthouse and people would get over it
The other couple...he'll fire and brimstone, social shunning?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We will be attending a wedding of a 22 year old couple and it feels like a train wreck. They just graduated from college a couple months ago. They are immature and the parents are religious so they were probably pressured. I feel bad that they won’t have a chance to grow up before making this commitment.

Your judgment is irrelevant and hurtful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:*than postponing

I think it is pretty different, actually. Postponing due to societal expectations assumes you do really want to marry. Marrying because of religious or family pressure or because you want to have sex assumes outside factors are having a disproportionate impact on that decision. Different motivations for wanting to get married. Presumably the couple that doesn't want to wait two years would also be able to say, screw it let's go to the courthouse and people would get over it
The other couple...he'll fire and brimstone, social shunning?

I agree. Someone close to me just married at 23 and 23. They were not allowed to "date", and this was the only way to be together. But they were never "together" before they got engaged so they can't know each other that well. Once engaged, they were allowed to "court" and spend time alone for the first time, but only in public, and only for 6 months. The girl's father would only allow a 6 month engagement since there would be too much temptation. If there had been any sex before marriage, she would be shunned for life.

Very very sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents married really young but built a fantastic life, uncles and aunts on both sides, married in late 30's or early 40's, no one did well, two divorced. Just anecdotes but formed my opinion that, being mature and being of mature age aren't the same.

Kind of irrelevant since OP specifically said they ate NOT mature and also marrying due to family pressure and religious expectations.

Based on her original post (and the fact that she posted about this in the first place) I doubt that OP is a reliable judge of maturity.

[Anonymous]

I married at 32 and it was a train wreck. My high school or college boyfriends would have been a better fit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents married really young but built a fantastic life, uncles and aunts on both sides, married in late 30's or early 40's, no one did well, two divorced. Just anecdotes but formed my opinion that, being mature and being of mature age aren't the same.

Kind of irrelevant since OP specifically said they ate NOT mature and also marrying due to family pressure and religious expectations.

Based on her original post (and the fact that she posted about this in the first place) I doubt that OP is a reliable judge of maturity.

Op guessed this. She doesn’t know. I think it’s the opposite. More 20 something’s would get married but they feel societal pressure to date and ‘experience’ the world before settling down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:*than postponing

I think it is pretty different, actually. Postponing due to societal expectations assumes you do really want to marry. Marrying because of religious or family pressure or because you want to have sex assumes outside factors are having a disproportionate impact on that decision. Different motivations for wanting to get married. Presumably the couple that doesn't want to wait two years would also be able to say, screw it let's go to the courthouse and people would get over it
The other couple...he'll fire and brimstone, social shunning?

I agree. Someone close to me just married at 23 and 23. They were not allowed to "date", and this was the only way to be together. But they were never "together" before they got engaged so they can't know each other that well. Once engaged, they were allowed to "court" and spend time alone for the first time, but only in public, and only for 6 months. The girl's father would only allow a 6 month engagement since there would be too much temptation. If there had been any sex before marriage, she would be shunned for life.

Very very sad.

What religion? It’s really not that sad

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t go. Weddings are boring anyway.

[Anonymous]

There are many ways to go about a marriage and none comes with a guarantee of success so trying to judge different schools of thought by your or mine personal preference would serve no purpose. As long as both parties are above 18 and entering the contract willingly, its no body's business.

I don't understand why getting an invite makes you a party to people's personal matters. Live and let live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We will be attending a wedding of a 22 year old couple and it feels like a train wreck. They just graduated from college a couple months ago. They are immature and the parents are religious so they were probably pressured. I feel bad that they won’t have a chance to grow up before making this commitment.

Age 22 is not an adult.

Adulthood begins at age 26.

[Anonymous]

Is it really any worse than dealing with the current dating scene in your twenties and thirties? Dating porn-addicted Peter Pan men who expect sex without committing to a relationship?