Upcoming Wedding of a 22 yo couple
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Anonymous
I saw a fair amount of this, and in retrospect, getting married was a necessary step in finding out who they were. If you can't accept that marriage may be a crucial part of how the couple finds happiness-- either in the marriage or in divorce -- stay home |
Anonymous
| I know a bunch of religious 22 year olds who were divorced by 30. I also know (and am related to) a bunch who are still together and in strong marriages 10-30 years later. It's not the age that makes it successful or not, it's the individuals, their life goals and dynamics. |
Anonymous
| A bunch of people will get divorced after you attend their wedding. While I think your concern is not abnormal, obsessing over it is. The only thing you have to decide is can you attend the wedding with happiness and good wishes? If not, decline the invitation. |
Anonymous
| Good for them. Makes a lot more sense to pool resources and work towards common goals at 22 like home ownership. They’ll be far ahead of their peers in 10 years. |
Anonymous
And plenty who married at 22/24 and are married 30+ years later in my friend group Really depends upon the individuals |
Anonymous
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What's wrong with getting married at 22? Would you rather they wait until they are 30? Then rush to push out 3 babies before they are 35 and dealing with potential fertility issues? They get to grow together and take their time and build a strong foundation before being pressured to have kids.
You should keep your judgement to yourself and consider not attending the wedding if you feel that way. |
Anonymous
All of them? Sure, Jan. |
Anonymous
| Be careful whom you invite to your wedding. Who needs this kind of negativity, judgment, jealousy and contempt on such an important day of their lives? |
Anonymous
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Most of my friends, Gen X, married around that age. Most are still together today.
Just wish them well. |
Anonymous
That’s odd…most of my GenX friends (and GenX me), married around 26-28. In fact, didn’t know anyone that married right at college graduation. |
Anonymous
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OP, you threw religion into this when you didn't have to. My Brother and his wife married at 19, both finished college, he went to/completed law school. Waited 10 years before trying to start a family.
22 isn't that young. I can work. |
Anonymous
| I thought this was going to be another gift suggestion thread but was hoping for something funny like the cat wedding. |
Anonymous
+1. I got engaged at 23. Married at 25– and it would have been 24, but t was important to me to graduate from law school before the wedding (my own mother dropped out of grad school to support my father in med school, and then couldn’t support us when they did divorce. I was determined to always feel able to support myself and any kids if I had to, whether because of divorces, death, health problems— life comes at you fast). Had my 2nd and final kid a few days before turning 30. DH was my best friend at 23. We just celebrated our 25th anniversary last month and he’s still my best friend. I have never once had serious regrets about getting married when I did or to the man I did. One kid just graduated from college. The other is a college junior, but we did prepaid VA 529, so tuition is paid for. Being 50 and in good health with college paid for and active child raising behind us feels pretty good. We are chunking away money for retirement, traveling internationally, trying restaurants and seeing plays in DC, looking at a smaller house in a less expensive school boundary and loving the DINK lifestyle. Life guarantees you nothing. But, I think we have a lot of good years of adventures and new experiences ahead of us. And it’s way too soon for grand kids, but I’d love to be young enough to be really involved and hands on with any kids my kids choose to have. I grew up and attended college in the South. I was one of the first in my peer group to marry— but not the very first, and less than a year later, the wedding invites had started piling up. So, I well well in the range of normal for Gen X Southern college educated woman. But more importantly— I found my person when I found my person. I knew I was ready when I knew I was ready. I guess we could could have waited longer. But, we lived together during our two year engagement. Not sure what 2 more would get us. Here was the only downside. When we moved to the DMV, the snotty judgement moms made snide comment about how young I was to have kids and generally treated my liked had my first at 17 and not 27 with a law degree, a home we owned, a stable marriage and 3 years in private practice. It was a gross “you were irresponsible because of when you decide to have kid” think. So—- basically, they acted like OP. |
Anonymous
| I wish I had married my college boyfriend. Probably the best guy I ever dated. We broke up out of this notion that we were too young to settle down and needed to date other people. Fifty and I still think about him. |
Anonymous
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There is no right or wrong time to marry once you are 21, just right or wrong individuals and circumstances. Increasing acceptable age of marriage to 31 or 41 would serve no one.
Its not like people marrying late are easily finding better partners, having happier marriages or able to avoid divorces. |