Why do so many SAHMs insist on PTA or activity meetings during the school day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Evening meetings are hard for everyone. No one likes them, working or SAH. Kids have sports practice, games to attend, music lessons, dinner, help with homework, and then times this by multiple kids in families.

Sometimes spouses work late or aren’t home, sometimes/and very often the case, the spouse has to take one kid somewhere while you have to take another kid somewhere. And someone needs to cook dinner as well.

Daytime meetings are more convenient for SAH parents. As where night meetings are convenient to no one. Whoever is leading the PTA gets to decide what the best schedule is for them since they are the one that is obligated to be there every time, next factor is who else will actually show up and what is the best availability for them.

This is a complete SAHM fantasy. Our elementary did 6pm meetings (with babysitting/pizza provided) and it was fine. That’s the most sensible time and nobody could object. SAHs can have the parent watch the kids or bring them to the meetings; WOHs can usually make a 6pm meeting after work with enough notice. And the truth is SAHMs have more flexible schedules so that’s why the PTA meetings don’t need to cater to them. Anyone who tried to schedule a daytime PTA meeting at our school would have been laughed out of the room.

Our ES tried both 5 pm (non PTA, this was for school run) and 7 pm (PTA, often after the school run) meetings, and they were incredibly lightly attended. School of over 700 kids and maybe 10 parents would show up to any meeting. I have 3 kids, all in activities. There is exactly 1 night a week that I wouldn't have to flex my schedule to be somewhere.

Our school also did daytime parent coffees. They quit those because so few people came.

Night meetings are convenient for no-one is correct. Daytime meetings immediately after dropoff are convenient for some SAHPs.

Night meetings may not be convenient, but day time meetings mean working parents aren't welcome at all

Many are able to stay right after drop off. If you don’t want to, that’s fine. Your 6pm time is terribly inconvenient for many others. But if it means that much to you run for PTA president so you can call the shots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Evening meetings are hard for everyone. No one likes them, working or SAH. Kids have sports practice, games to attend, music lessons, dinner, help with homework, and then times this by multiple kids in families.

Sometimes spouses work late or aren’t home, sometimes/and very often the case, the spouse has to take one kid somewhere while you have to take another kid somewhere. And someone needs to cook dinner as well.

Daytime meetings are more convenient for SAH parents. As where night meetings are convenient to no one. Whoever is leading the PTA gets to decide what the best schedule is for them since they are the one that is obligated to be there every time, next factor is who else will actually show up and what is the best availability for them.

This is a complete SAHM fantasy. Our elementary did 6pm meetings (with babysitting/pizza provided) and it was fine. That’s the most sensible time and nobody could object. SAHs can have the parent watch the kids or bring them to the meetings; WOHs can usually make a 6pm meeting after work with enough notice. And the truth is SAHMs have more flexible schedules so that’s why the PTA meetings don’t need to cater to them. Anyone who tried to schedule a daytime PTA meeting at our school would have been laughed out of the room.

Many schools cannot provide dinner and babysitting for meetings and many spouses are NOT home by 6 pm from work. You think everyone works 9-5? In what world are you living?

It’s still the best time and babysitting is a nominal cost. Or you can just bring the kids with you.

Kids are busy after school, they aren’t just sitting around at home waiting to be baby sat because they have no after school activities. Families are different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They don’t want parents with jobs.

You can be upset about the disrespect and exclusion and your feelings will be valid.

Or

You can take it as a glorious get out of jail free card. You do not have to participate not because you were unwilling but— sigh— because you aren’t the target volunteer demographic. Do not volunteer, do not Venmo, and only go to the activities that actually appeal to you (or your kid) and don’t guilt free.

And if you’re ever — ever!— approached or guilted about it you just smile and say how glad you are that people have so much free time to donate to the (name the activity)

This. I feel entirely absolved of the guilt I once felt to be helpful. School volunteering is a SAHM show, and I scroll past anything the PTA has to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Evening meetings are hard for everyone. No one likes them, working or SAH. Kids have sports practice, games to attend, music lessons, dinner, help with homework, and then times this by multiple kids in families.

Sometimes spouses work late or aren’t home, sometimes/and very often the case, the spouse has to take one kid somewhere while you have to take another kid somewhere. And someone needs to cook dinner as well.

Daytime meetings are more convenient for SAH parents. As where night meetings are convenient to no one. Whoever is leading the PTA gets to decide what the best schedule is for them since they are the one that is obligated to be there every time, next factor is who else will actually show up and what is the best availability for them.

This is a complete SAHM fantasy. Our elementary did 6pm meetings (with babysitting/pizza provided) and it was fine. That’s the most sensible time and nobody could object. SAHs can have the parent watch the kids or bring them to the meetings; WOHs can usually make a 6pm meeting after work with enough notice. And the truth is SAHMs have more flexible schedules so that’s why the PTA meetings don’t need to cater to them. Anyone who tried to schedule a daytime PTA meeting at our school would have been laughed out of the room.

Nobody could object? My you really do think you can speak for all.

The PTA needs to be inclusive for the whole school. Picking a meeting time that a big chunk of parents could never attend is obviously inappropriate. 6pm is indisputably a time that everyone except late-shift workers have the best chance of making. I don’t think anyone at our school would even have attempted to schedule a daytime PTA meeting - they would have been laughed out of the room.

6pm is not “indisputably” convenient for the most people just because you think it is or say it is. Lots of people (working and not working) are saying it isn’t. Your daytime conflict (your job) isn’t more important than other people’s 6pm conflicts.

I’ve been involved in the PTA for 9 years at many different schools. In the early years it was great and I developed decent relationships with other parents who volunteered. Now, the board meetings are on zoom, which I hate because it removes the whole community aspect of it. The general meetings are in person in the evenings. Very few people show up, but it definitely draws people who want to complain/influence but definitely don’t want to help/volunteer.

[Anonymous]

I wanna drive real far

[Anonymous]

The same when their friend (me) asks to grab dinner, it is bc of rhe kids bedtime. they say they free up again at 9. try that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why won't they meet in the evenings or after the kids go to bed? Do your husband not allow it? Do you not trust them to be alone with the children? This has happened to me multiple times over the past several years where I've proposed meeting at 7pm or 8:30pm and they say they can't because it's dinner time, kids bedtime, they have so much to do. Please explain.

because it suits their lifestyle better, just like meeting at night suits your lifestyle choice better?

I was SAHM mom for a couple of years (and preferred the day time meetings). Now I am back to work (and prefer the evening meetings). It's frustrating that people constantly display such lack of back empathy and awareness for those who make different choices than they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Evening meetings are hard for everyone. No one likes them, working or SAH. Kids have sports practice, games to attend, music lessons, dinner, help with homework, and then times this by multiple kids in families.

Sometimes spouses work late or aren’t home, sometimes/and very often the case, the spouse has to take one kid somewhere while you have to take another kid somewhere. And someone needs to cook dinner as well.

Daytime meetings are more convenient for SAH parents. As where night meetings are convenient to no one. Whoever is leading the PTA gets to decide what the best schedule is for them since they are the one that is obligated to be there every time, next factor is who else will actually show up and what is the best availability for them.

This is a complete SAHM fantasy. Our elementary did 6pm meetings (with babysitting/pizza provided) and it was fine. That’s the most sensible time and nobody could object. SAHs can have the parent watch the kids or bring them to the meetings; WOHs can usually make a 6pm meeting after work with enough notice. And the truth is SAHMs have more flexible schedules so that’s why the PTA meetings don’t need to cater to them. Anyone who tried to schedule a daytime PTA meeting at our school would have been laughed out of the room.

Nobody could object? My you really do think you can speak for all.

The PTA needs to be inclusive for the whole school. Picking a meeting time that a big chunk of parents could never attend is obviously inappropriate. 6pm is indisputably a time that everyone except late-shift workers have the best chance of making. I don’t think anyone at our school would even have attempted to schedule a daytime PTA meeting - they would have been laughed out of the room.

6pm is not “indisputably” convenient for the most people just because you think it is or say it is. Lots of people (working and not working) are saying it isn’t. Your daytime conflict (your job) isn’t more important than other people’s 6pm conflicts.

I’ve been involved in the PTA for 9 years at many different schools. In the early years it was great and I developed decent relationships with other parents who volunteered. Now, the board meetings are on zoom, which I hate because it removes the whole community aspect of it. The general meetings are in person in the evenings. Very few people show up, but it definitely draws people who want to complain/influence but definitely don’t want to help/volunteer.

You're really out of touch. There is a difference between having to work during the day and not wanting to attend during the evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As you can see, they don't care that it excludes working moms, who would have many of these exact same issues with the evening meetings that they do. Selfish.

Our elementary PTA used to alternate every month, during the day and in the evening. It was always the same people who showed up regardless. People like to whine and complain that they’re being excluded, but given the option, they usually don’t make the effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why won't they meet in the evenings or after the kids go to bed? Do your husband not allow it? Do you not trust them to be alone with the children? This has happened to me multiple times over the past several years where I've proposed meeting at 7pm or 8:30pm and they say they can't because it's dinner time, kids bedtime, they have so much to do. Please explain.

Well, families making sacrifice to have a SAHM value family time and structure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why won't they meet in the evenings or after the kids go to bed? Do your husband not allow it? Do you not trust them to be alone with the children? This has happened to me multiple times over the past several years where I've proposed meeting at 7pm or 8:30pm and they say they can't because it's dinner time, kids bedtime, they have so much to do. Please explain.

Single mom can't do night meetings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why won't they meet in the evenings or after the kids go to bed? Do your husband not allow it? Do you not trust them to be alone with the children? This has happened to me multiple times over the past several years where I've proposed meeting at 7pm or 8:30pm and they say they can't because it's dinner time, kids bedtime, they have so much to do. Please explain.

They have free time during the day, duh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Evening meetings are hard for everyone. No one likes them, working or SAH. Kids have sports practice, games to attend, music lessons, dinner, help with homework, and then times this by multiple kids in families.

Sometimes spouses work late or aren’t home, sometimes/and very often the case, the spouse has to take one kid somewhere while you have to take another kid somewhere. And someone needs to cook dinner as well.

Daytime meetings are more convenient for SAH parents. As where night meetings are convenient to no one. Whoever is leading the PTA gets to decide what the best schedule is for them since they are the one that is obligated to be there every time, next factor is who else will actually show up and what is the best availability for them.

This is a complete SAHM fantasy. Our elementary did 6pm meetings (with babysitting/pizza provided) and it was fine. That’s the most sensible time and nobody could object. SAHs can have the parent watch the kids or bring them to the meetings; WOHs can usually make a 6pm meeting after work with enough notice. And the truth is SAHMs have more flexible schedules so that’s why the PTA meetings don’t need to cater to them. Anyone who tried to schedule a daytime PTA meeting at our school would have been laughed out of the room.

Nobody could object? My you really do think you can speak for all.

The PTA needs to be inclusive for the whole school. Picking a meeting time that a big chunk of parents could never attend is obviously inappropriate. 6pm is indisputably a time that everyone except late-shift workers have the best chance of making. I don’t think anyone at our school would even have attempted to schedule a daytime PTA meeting - they would have been laughed out of the room.

6pm is not “indisputably” convenient for the most people just because you think it is or say it is. Lots of people (working and not working) are saying it isn’t. Your daytime conflict (your job) isn’t more important than other people’s 6pm conflicts.

I’ve been involved in the PTA for 9 years at many different schools. In the early years it was great and I developed decent relationships with other parents who volunteered. Now, the board meetings are on zoom, which I hate because it removes the whole community aspect of it. The general meetings are in person in the evenings. Very few people show up, but it definitely draws people who want to complain/influence but definitely don’t want to help/volunteer.

We e only had evening but it’s hard with kids activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why won't they meet in the evenings or after the kids go to bed? Do your husband not allow it? Do you not trust them to be alone with the children? This has happened to me multiple times over the past several years where I've proposed meeting at 7pm or 8:30pm and they say they can't because it's dinner time, kids bedtime, they have so much to do. Please explain.

The trick is to live in a neighborhood where there aren't many SAHMs. Our PTA meetings are at 6 pm with childcare and pizza/drinks provided.

[Anonymous]

Haven’t read the thread, but the reality is that when we held meetings at night, it didn’t increase turnout. Working parents who can’t come in the day don’t come.at night because they are busy. So might as well have the meetings when they are convenient for the people who are available. (Often SAH, but also PT and FT working parents with more flexibility).

At the high school level it’s much easier to work and be involved because the work happens outside of school and can be done anytime.