Tiger Mums: Strict parents demanding greatness from their kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not easy to be a Tiger Parent. Demanding greatness from your kids gets you nothing unless you also put in the time in their education and create a conducive household for them.

And Tiger parenting starts from birth. You expose your kids daily to reading, recognizing patterns, on language, music exposure etc. At the same time you are maintaining a peaceful, well run, functional household.

The reason the Western cultures do not do Tiger parenting is because then they will then have to do the heavy lifting to become such parents. It is easier to let your kids raise themselves and neglect academics.

Except your own Westernized kids will likely reject your own parenting…which is what nearly all my Asian friends have done. They don’t think their upbringing was particularly good.

So…still think it’s a winning formula?

Sure. For my kids it is a winning formula because we are a blend of the best of both cultures, and we have been well educated for several generations. There is a formula for getting kids to succeed in academics and then there is a formula for getting kids to succeed in life. The academics part should only be a subset of the succeeding in life formula.

In other words, parents have to be functional, the marriage and family unit has to be functional, the finances and household have to be functional and the socialization has to be functional - for the kid to be well adjusted and successful.

That doesn’t sound like Tiger Parenting whatsoever…so confused what you are saying.

The truly Tiger Parented kids reject that upbringing in droves.

Maybe you should write a book to counter Amy Chua…you may have figured out a much healthier 3rd way.

It sounds like typical White UMC parenting to me. She calls it tiger parenting because she wants to distinguish it from typical upper class white people upbringing but I'm not sure how it is.

What? Please, this is akin to name calling.

White UMC parenting does not usually have functional marriage, family unit and socialization in the same way Asian culture have because it is very individual focussed ( White UMC often have functional careers and finances, outsourced chores, nannies, private schools, gym memberships and vacations though!!) Mainly because they do not have the time and inclination to sacrifice for their children, spouses, relatives.

They will either outsource all things that need relationship and time commitment or they will ignore it - children education, children care, elder care, community, hosting, reciprocity, caring for relatives.

So, the truth of real Tiger parenting is that it requires time commitment and focus from parents. Most Tiger parenting I have seen, moms or dads have stepped back from their careers or reduced the time they spend at work to devote themselves to the kids. The beating of the kids until they produce good results is the hallmark of financially weak striver parents who have not come from refined Tiger families but they like to call themselves "Tiger parents".

People who come from families that are educated, well to do, respected, enlightened - will work WITH their children to make sure that they are fully supported and enriched so that they can do well and avail of opportunities. Tiger parents have respect for their Tiger cubs and they treat them as such.

Huh? I'm Arab so I have no dog in this fight, but have you ever read DCUM? These white woman are all about "I quit my high-profile lawyer job to stay home with the kids so I can take them to musems." They are obsessed with ensuring their kids have the very best outcomes and are also very invested in their marriages and look down on single moms. I agree with you that white people don't care about extended family, it's all about the nuclear family, but other than that everything you said is what I have observed with UMC people. You just like the "tiger mom" branding or whatever.

Yes, the typical white DCUM who went to AU Law School has elements of Tiger Mom, but that's not typical for whites overall or even white middle class overall.
In a typical white middle class family, the parents are eating and drinking while the kids are beating the crap out of each other, the parents use tic-toc to shut up the middle schoolers, and parents beam with pride when their kid get into the public school "gifted" program that accommodates the top 40% of the school.

Your example is comical…”went to AU law school”?

This is DCUM…we aren’t talking about the fictional middle class family from Ozark that you are referencing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I Tiger Parented my kid with special needs and global developmental delay into a decent college. I am very proud of him.

This. DH was a speech delayed, HFASD kid who was tigered into an ivy undergrad and law school. It can be done. But their mistake was neglecting his EQ.

What is "neglecting EQ"?

Like they did so many things to try to regulate and boost his IQ but didn't help his emotional quotient. Maybe because he already had ASD challenges but he was clueless about social and personal interactions. They could have tried to help him and socialize him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I put a large premium on academics. I expect perfect grades. My kids are smart and they put in very little effort compared to their Asian counterparts in Asia. I don’t consider myself a tiger parent. We host lots of play dates, parties, travel often and I put high value on happiness.

Did you ever think…what does that do for Asian countries? I mean, birth rates are nonexistent, economies are stagnant, very little entrepreneurship, etc.

Life generally sucks in these Asian countries…yet, let’s just keep doing what we are doing.

I’ve travelled in Asia.

I have to ask you honestly: WTF are you talking about?!?

Life does not “generally suck” in Asia (as you put it).

Traveling to tourist spots tells you nothing about how the average Asians live. Have you traveled to Yemen where there is a civil war putting the country into poverty? If you haven’t traveled through Asian countries like Laos, Myanmar, North Korea then you can’t speak for the entire continent of Asia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I put a large premium on academics. I expect perfect grades. My kids are smart and they put in very little effort compared to their Asian counterparts in Asia. I don’t consider myself a tiger parent. We host lots of play dates, parties, travel often and I put high value on happiness.

Did you ever think…what does that do for Asian countries? I mean, birth rates are nonexistent, economies are stagnant, very little entrepreneurship, etc.

Life generally sucks in these Asian countries…yet, let’s just keep doing what we are doing.

I’ve travelled in Asia.

I have to ask you honestly: WTF are you talking about?!?

Life does not “generally suck” in Asia (as you put it).

Traveling to tourist spots tells you nothing about how the average Asians live. Have you traveled to Yemen where there is a civil war putting the country into poverty? If you haven’t traveled through Asian countries like Laos, Myanmar, North Korea then you can’t speak for the entire continent of Asia.

DP here. I’m Korean American. I can’t speak for any of your countries listed but I can speak about South Korea. My kids and I love to travel to my native country. Life there for students seems very high pressure. It is still a great place to live with strong work ethic, family values and a great culture.

I’m still glad that we live in America. My kids are very lucky to be American.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not easy to be a Tiger Parent. Demanding greatness from your kids gets you nothing unless you also put in the time in their education and create a conducive household for them.

And Tiger parenting starts from birth. You expose your kids daily to reading, recognizing patterns, on language, music exposure etc. At the same time you are maintaining a peaceful, well run, functional household.

The reason the Western cultures do not do Tiger parenting is because then they will then have to do the heavy lifting to become such parents. It is easier to let your kids raise themselves and neglect academics.

Except your own Westernized kids will likely reject your own parenting…which is what nearly all my Asian friends have done. They don’t think their upbringing was particularly good.

So…still think it’s a winning formula?

Sure. For my kids it is a winning formula because we are a blend of the best of both cultures, and we have been well educated for several generations. There is a formula for getting kids to succeed in academics and then there is a formula for getting kids to succeed in life. The academics part should only be a subset of the succeeding in life formula.

In other words, parents have to be functional, the marriage and family unit has to be functional, the finances and household have to be functional and the socialization has to be functional - for the kid to be well adjusted and successful.

That doesn’t sound like Tiger Parenting whatsoever…so confused what you are saying.

The truly Tiger Parented kids reject that upbringing in droves.

Maybe you should write a book to counter Amy Chua…you may have figured out a much healthier 3rd way.

It sounds like typical White UMC parenting to me. She calls it tiger parenting because she wants to distinguish it from typical upper class white people upbringing but I'm not sure how it is.

What? Please, this is akin to name calling.

White UMC parenting does not usually have functional marriage, family unit and socialization in the same way Asian culture have because it is very individual focussed ( White UMC often have functional careers and finances, outsourced chores, nannies, private schools, gym memberships and vacations though!!) Mainly because they do not have the time and inclination to sacrifice for their children, spouses, relatives.

They will either outsource all things that need relationship and time commitment or they will ignore it - children education, children care, elder care, community, hosting, reciprocity, caring for relatives.

So, the truth of real Tiger parenting is that it requires time commitment and focus from parents. Most Tiger parenting I have seen, moms or dads have stepped back from their careers or reduced the time they spend at work to devote themselves to the kids. The beating of the kids until they produce good results is the hallmark of financially weak striver parents who have not come from refined Tiger families but they like to call themselves "Tiger parents".

People who come from families that are educated, well to do, respected, enlightened - will work WITH their children to make sure that they are fully supported and enriched so that they can do well and avail of opportunities. Tiger parents have respect for their Tiger cubs and they treat them as such.

lol

U sure pulled that post out of ur @$$

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Indian parenting is the best

In middle school, my daughter’s Indian friends told her stories about shoes being thrown at them if they brought home bad grades. I do not want to assume this is standard Indian-American parenting or Tiger mom behavior, but if this is how you break your kids down to get the results you want, what is that Harvard degree worth?? I couldn’t live with myself as a parent. Please tell us this isn’t normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I put a large premium on academics. I expect perfect grades. My kids are smart and they put in very little effort compared to their Asian counterparts in Asia. I don’t consider myself a tiger parent. We host lots of play dates, parties, travel often and I put high value on happiness.

Did you ever think…what does that do for Asian countries? I mean, birth rates are nonexistent, economies are stagnant, very little entrepreneurship, etc.

Life generally sucks in these Asian countries…yet, let’s just keep doing what we are doing.

I’ve travelled in Asia.

I have to ask you honestly: WTF are you talking about?!?

Life does not “generally suck” in Asia (as you put it).

Traveling to tourist spots tells you nothing about how the average Asians live. Have you traveled to Yemen where there is a civil war putting the country into poverty? If you haven’t traveled through Asian countries like Laos, Myanmar, North Korea then you can’t speak for the entire continent of Asia.

DP here. I’m Korean American. I can’t speak for any of your countries listed but I can speak about South Korea. My kids and I love to travel to my native country. Life there for students seems very high pressure. It is still a great place to live with strong work ethic, family values and a great culture.

I’m still glad that we live in America. My kids are very lucky to be American.

South Korea is one of the thriving Asian countries. China has a history of horrible civil rights violations with arbitrary arrests, internment camps, torture and forced labo, there is no freedom of expression or religion among other abuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not easy to be a Tiger Parent. Demanding greatness from your kids gets you nothing unless you also put in the time in their education and create a conducive household for them.

And Tiger parenting starts from birth. You expose your kids daily to reading, recognizing patterns, on language, music exposure etc. At the same time you are maintaining a peaceful, well run, functional household.

The reason the Western cultures do not do Tiger parenting is because then they will then have to do the heavy lifting to become such parents. It is easier to let your kids raise themselves and neglect academics.

Almost all innovations are from the United States. Nothing from Asian countries except copycats.

That's what Tiger parenting get you.

Then your fat butt has nothing to worry about

Thanks for modeling the body shaming that is such a disturbing part of Asian culture.

-American living in Asia

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I put a large premium on academics. I expect perfect grades. My kids are smart and they put in very little effort compared to their Asian counterparts in Asia. I don’t consider myself a tiger parent. We host lots of play dates, parties, travel often and I put high value on happiness.

Did you ever think…what does that do for Asian countries? I mean, birth rates are nonexistent, economies are stagnant, very little entrepreneurship, etc.

Life generally sucks in these Asian countries…yet, let’s just keep doing what we are doing.

I’ve travelled in Asia.

I have to ask you honestly: WTF are you talking about?!?

Life does not “generally suck” in Asia (as you put it).

So, because you visited as a tourist…that’s your answer? Why do Korea, China and Japan have abysmally low birth rates? Why are their economies stagnant?

Japan is going to lose 40% of its population by 2100…China nearly 60%.

Sound like great places to you?

Yes?! Both countries are tremendously crowded, and their societies having been dealing with the ill-effects of that for long enough. They are consciously downsizing. Good for them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Indian parenting is the best

In middle school, my daughter’s Indian friends told her stories about shoes being thrown at them if they brought home bad grades. I do not want to assume this is standard Indian-American parenting or Tiger mom behavior, but if this is how you break your kids down to get the results you want, what is that Harvard degree worth?? I couldn’t live with myself as a parent. Please tell us this isn’t normal.

Of course this isn’t normal, and I’m sure you knew that before you even asked this question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I put a large premium on academics. I expect perfect grades. My kids are smart and they put in very little effort compared to their Asian counterparts in Asia. I don’t consider myself a tiger parent. We host lots of play dates, parties, travel often and I put high value on happiness.

Did you ever think…what does that do for Asian countries? I mean, birth rates are nonexistent, economies are stagnant, very little entrepreneurship, etc.

Life generally sucks in these Asian countries…yet, let’s just keep doing what we are doing.

I’ve travelled in Asia.

I have to ask you honestly: WTF are you talking about?!?

Life does not “generally suck” in Asia (as you put it).

Traveling to tourist spots tells you nothing about how the average Asians live. Have you traveled to Yemen where there is a civil war putting the country into poverty? If you haven’t traveled through Asian countries like Laos, Myanmar, North Korea then you can’t speak for the entire continent of Asia.

DP here. I’m Korean American. I can’t speak for any of your countries listed but I can speak about South Korea. My kids and I love to travel to my native country. Life there for students seems very high pressure. It is still a great place to live with strong work ethic, family values and a great culture.

I’m still glad that we live in America. My kids are very lucky to be American.

South Korea is pretty sterile and boring

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Indian parenting is the best

In middle school, my daughter’s Indian friends told her stories about shoes being thrown at them if they brought home bad grades. I do not want to assume this is standard Indian-American parenting or Tiger mom behavior, but if this is how you break your kids down to get the results you want, what is that Harvard degree worth?? I couldn’t live with myself as a parent. Please tell us this isn’t normal.

Of course this isn’t normal, and I’m sure you knew that before you even asked this question.

It wasn’t just one friend saying this kind of stuff, so no, I didn’t know. But thanks for snark?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Indian parenting is the best

In middle school, my daughter’s Indian friends told her stories about shoes being thrown at them if they brought home bad grades. I do not want to assume this is standard Indian-American parenting or Tiger mom behavior, but if this is how you break your kids down to get the results you want, what is that Harvard degree worth?? I couldn’t live with myself as a parent. Please tell us this isn’t normal.

Indians are sick

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I put a large premium on academics. I expect perfect grades. My kids are smart and they put in very little effort compared to their Asian counterparts in Asia. I don’t consider myself a tiger parent. We host lots of play dates, parties, travel often and I put high value on happiness.

Did you ever think…what does that do for Asian countries? I mean, birth rates are nonexistent, economies are stagnant, very little entrepreneurship, etc.

Life generally sucks in these Asian countries…yet, let’s just keep doing what we are doing.

I’ve travelled in Asia.

I have to ask you honestly: WTF are you talking about?!?

Life does not “generally suck” in Asia (as you put it).

Traveling to tourist spots tells you nothing about how the average Asians live. Have you traveled to Yemen where there is a civil war putting the country into poverty? If you haven’t traveled through Asian countries like Laos, Myanmar, North Korea then you can’t speak for the entire continent of Asia.

DP here. I’m Korean American. I can’t speak for any of your countries listed but I can speak about South Korea. My kids and I love to travel to my native country. Life there for students seems very high pressure. It is still a great place to live with strong work ethic, family values and a great culture.

I’m still glad that we live in America. My kids are very lucky to be American.

Again…doesn’t sound like you have any interest in moving there full time, so curious how you can make the claim it’s a great place to live.

The birthrate in South Korea is the lowest in all of Asia. Kids and young adults are super stressed and it’s just a testing regiment to nowhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I put a large premium on academics. I expect perfect grades. My kids are smart and they put in very little effort compared to their Asian counterparts in Asia. I don’t consider myself a tiger parent. We host lots of play dates, parties, travel often and I put high value on happiness.

Did you ever think…what does that do for Asian countries? I mean, birth rates are nonexistent, economies are stagnant, very little entrepreneurship, etc.

Life generally sucks in these Asian countries…yet, let’s just keep doing what we are doing.

I’ve travelled in Asia.

I have to ask you honestly: WTF are you talking about?!?

Life does not “generally suck” in Asia (as you put it).

So, because you visited as a tourist…that’s your answer? Why do Korea, China and Japan have abysmally low birth rates? Why are their economies stagnant?

Japan is going to lose 40% of its population by 2100…China nearly 60%.

Sound like great places to you?

Yes?! Both countries are tremendously crowded, and their societies having been dealing with the ill-effects of that for long enough. They are consciously downsizing. Good for them!

Yeah…no country thinks they will maintain their standing in the world if their populations decline 40% or 60%.

All are trying to increase the birthrate to no success.