Starting a new WFH job at 18 weeks and need to disclose medical appointments right away

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean what if someone gets sick during training? They can’t punish someone for that. I wouldn’t delay a 20 week ultrasound. So many things can come up at that appointment. Mine disclosed a very high risk situation. You need to also take your baby’s health into consideration.

At my job you cannot miss any of the training. If you do, your employment is terminated. There’s no exception for any reason. And they always start more people than they need because people invariably think they will get an exception. Also if you are removed from the class, there is a long period before you’re eligible to apply again.

I don’t know OPs situation. But I do know that not everyone gets the perk of flexibility or paid leave.

Op here. Thank you. I do know there are jobs like this. What I am struggling with is when to disclose. It didn't occur to me to do it before my start date because everyone I know says to wait as long as possible. I am going to see if I can do the scan at 17 weeks but when I called to schedule they seemed rigid that it must be at 20 weeks. The scan place isn't at my obgyns office. The scan office is at the same place as the high-risk doctor. I have been told most people only go here for the 20-week scan or a high-risk appointment. They do not have evening appointments.

DP here. Yes, 20 week anatomy scans are usually done at a MFM specialist so it might be hard to find one available after hours. This whole situation just shows how unfair pregnancy is for women, because a man would never have to jeopardize his job over this.

OP here. I am also sure a man would never lie 5 times during an interview because they are just so damn perfect

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should not have lied 5 prior times.

OP here. Just to clarify this question was asked in the application several times and once during the interview. If I selected yes I never would have received an interview. Taking an hour or two versus a full day is very different. The job was supposed to begin this month so training would have been over by 20 weeks. My schedule would also change and I would have some mornings off to attend appointments. My schedule is going to be non-traditional. I could work one weekend day for example and have a weekday off. After training there will be more flexibility to attend appointments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should not have lied 5 prior times.

OP here. Just to clarify this question was asked in the application several times and once during the interview. If I selected yes I never would have received an interview. Taking an hour or two versus a full day is very different. The job was supposed to begin this month so training would have been over by 20 weeks. My schedule would also change and I would have some mornings off to attend appointments. My schedule is going to be non-traditional. I could work one weekend day for example and have a weekday off. After training there will be more flexibility to attend appointments.

Op here: The schedule during training is 8-4:30 pm. The schedule after training will be different. It can be anything really i.e. 12 pm- 8:30 pm and we were told we need to work a weekend day every other week and we would be off 1 weekday when we work weekends. There will be a lot of changes after training.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would just wait until you start and then give a week/few days notice that you have a medical appointment on X day and will join training as soon as possible post appointment.

I would not disclose your pregnancy at this point. I would also get through day 1 of training. You may find that they explain how to handle things that come up that will cause you to miss training.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would just wait until you start and then give a week/few days notice that you have a medical appointment on X day and will join training as soon as possible post appointment.

I would not disclose your pregnancy at this point. I would also get through day 1 of training. You may find that they explain how to handle things that come up that will cause you to miss training.

I agree. There’s nothing you can do, so just move forward.

[Anonymous]

Let me guess, OP also doesn’t plan to line up childcare when she’s working.

[Anonymous]

You can move the 20 week scan forward a week or two OP.

Are there any holidays off during your training? I was sometimes able to schedule medical appointments on holidays because I was off work but the medical offices were open (barring Christmas and Thanksgiving).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can move the 20 week scan forward a week or two OP.

Are there any holidays off during your training? I was sometimes able to schedule medical appointments on holidays because I was off work but the medical offices were open (barring Christmas and Thanksgiving).

I would need to move it to 17 weeks 4 days. The MFM office isn't open on Fridays. Training is supposed to be 6 weeks but it could be shorter. If I move it to after training that puts me at 26 weeks unless I do it the very last week of training. I am hoping training gets shortened. I do think the first week we will learn a lot more. In this line of work, turnover is very high. Another person above pointed out that sometimes companies hire more candidates than they need for this reason and not all of them stay through the training. In some positions, they would need to find a temp but in this field, it's not common because there are so many of us with this job title. It's a little niche because it's working with pharm but it's similar to claims at a health insurance company. I won't be doing customer service but I will be reaching out to a lot of health insurance companies to verify pharm coverage. Labor day is one day we will have off but I don't think MFM office will be open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, OP also doesn’t plan to line up childcare when she’s working.

I have my parents but it's not uncommon for coworkers to not have coverage because we are hourly workers and the pay isn't the best. I don't know how they do it but I know a few women who do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You lied by omission 5 times.
Find a place for the scan-off hours.

I think with pregnancy it's frankly okay to lie because otherwise you risk being discriminated against. At that time I didn't consider it a lie. They asked about vacations. They didn't ask if I had a time-sensitive doctor's appointment that would take 1-2 hours. I'm not paying out of pocket for scans and I do need to go to this particular place because that's where I meet with my high-risk doctor. Scans can be thousands. I also need to get my cervix length checked.

It is never okay to lie to a prospective employer. I have fired employees for lying and I would have fired a pregnant employee for lying. I only want employees who are trustworthy. Your word. Is your bond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You lied by omission 5 times.
Find a place for the scan-off hours.

I think with pregnancy it's frankly okay to lie because otherwise you risk being discriminated against. At that time I didn't consider it a lie. They asked about vacations. They didn't ask if I had a time-sensitive doctor's appointment that would take 1-2 hours. I'm not paying out of pocket for scans and I do need to go to this particular place because that's where I meet with my high-risk doctor. Scans can be thousands. I also need to get my cervix length checked.

You would have been .out on your derriere so fast you would have thought you were flying. People like you are the reason many company don't hire women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“I have a doctors appointment that I can’t move. I’ll be on by 9:30.”

This isn’t a vacation, and you’re not taking significant time off.

Frankly, if they have a probationary period, you’ll likely still be in it when you tell them you’re having a baby.

Why can’t you do a hybrid or in-person job?

OP here. Doing something like this can get me terminated. I know it seems unlikely because a lot of people here have high-paying jobs, but that's not the case with hourly positions. I have been told over and over again you can't miss 1 day of training. They didn't say because we will fire you but it's implied. Do I have more protection being pregnant disclosing this or can I say I have a medical condition and a time-sensitive scan I need to take?

No. You are a probationary employee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really uncomfortable with the fact that you lied five times.

I'm also really uncomfortable with the suggestion that you listen to your training while getting a scan. Do NOT do this.

I vote for telling your manager. They probably wouldn't be thrilled, but I don't think they would fire you. (Pregnancy protections are decent.)

Op. I can't train while I am getting the scan. Probably impossible during week 3 but who knows? Sometimes during the first week, it's busy work. I don't consider it a "lie". You can disclose a disability and that's what pregnancy is after you're hired for this very reason. The start date for my job was also pushed back by more than a month. I haven't begun the job yet and I do not feel comfortable emailing my manager before I begin to disclose any of this.

Pregnancy is not a disability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You clearly messed up when you did not disclose the previous 5 times you were asked. People have offered solutions to which you negate every one as to why it won’t work so at this point you need to accept that you lied and you will most likely be fired (not for being pregnant but for lying about availability).

OP here. Again I disagree and something is missing inside of you if you think it's considered a lie. I was only a few weeks pregnant. Lots of women don't disclose pregnancies for so many reasons. I'm not going to continue to go back and forth with someone who intends to be nasty. One option suggested was to do a scan somewhere else. I don't have the option to pay out of pocket to do a scan and I can't change medical groups as I explained there isn't any other group I can transfer to that's close. Once I am out of training my schedule will change and it's very possible I can schedule my prenatal appointments around the new schedule. I won't know the new schedule until sometime during training.

There is no such thing as a "little" pregnancy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, OP also doesn’t plan to line up childcare when she’s working.

I have my parents but it's not uncommon for coworkers to not have coverage because we are hourly workers and the pay isn't the best. I don't know how they do it but I know a few women who do this.

OP, is this comment yours?