Husband’s spending out of control

[Anonymous]

OP here. I didn’t know this thread was still active.

A baby moon is a way for a couple to connect as just a couple before becoming parents.

We are working on a budget and taming his expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It is within budget but it’s still concerning.

We bought a large expensive home that all of our friends bought. I would have been happier with a smaller home but he had to have all the bells and whistles.

Our friends have a certain car and he bought me a new one. Again, I would have gone with a cheaper car.

We had to have the same nursery furniture, a PT newborn care specialist, a baby moon, etc.

He buys the most expensive food and alcohol when we have parties.

We had to have multiple expensive baby items.

We have to eat at pricey restaurants like our friends do.

Our friends make more than us. We can sustain this level of purchasing with multiple kids, childcare, private schools, etc.

What’s the problem? This sounds like a normal upper middle class life.

OP here. A $50k car isn’t middle class. A $1.8m house isn’t middle class. That’s a lot of money.

You make $390k and bought a $1.8M house? Lol Do you guys save anything at all?

OP here. We do have money in savings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get him to agree that now that you've had a baby it's time for the two of you to review your budget and spending. Diapers cost a lot, for example. What are the two of you NOT going to buy so you can allocate money towards diapers?

If you can get him on board with seeing "here are all the things we NEED to spend money on" and compare that to how much is coming in, he'll be more likely to get on board with "here is how much we can spend on WANTS".

If you have to invest in a meeting with a financial advisor, do that. If you have to pursue friendships with people who are a little more humble in their spending habits, do that.

OP here. We can afford basic and some luxury expenses. I just worry if will why out of hand.

I do admit I buy the most expensive diaper and wipes but that’s a preference for me.

You are ok with your luxury spending but not with his?

OP here. I wouldn’t call diapers and wipes luxury living. I pay a little more to get non-toxic diapers and wipes. About $90 on diapers a month and the $45 boxes of wipes will last us 2 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I didn’t know this thread was still active.

A baby moon is a way for a couple to connect as just a couple before becoming parents.

We are working on a budget and taming his expenses.

Most people don’t do baby moons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I didn’t know this thread was still active.

A baby moon is a way for a couple to connect as just a couple before becoming parents.

We are working on a budget and taming his expenses.

It won’t work. It’s not going to end well. You should hire a divorce attorney.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to get him to agree that now that you've had a baby it's time for the two of you to review your budget and spending. Diapers cost a lot, for example. What are the two of you NOT going to buy so you can allocate money towards diapers?

If you can get him on board with seeing "here are all the things we NEED to spend money on" and compare that to how much is coming in, he'll be more likely to get on board with "here is how much we can spend on WANTS".

If you have to invest in a meeting with a financial advisor, do that. If you have to pursue friendships with people who are a little more humble in their spending habits, do that.

OP said he already purchased an expensive house, a luxury car, they eat at high-end restaurants—and all of this is still in their budget. I don’t think diapers are going to be the thing that pushes them over the edge.

[Anonymous]

OP, he did not purchased an expensive house along. You agreed to that and I assume you signed all the paperwork. You accepted an expensive vehicle even if you could go by yourself and buy used toyota or honda. Your husband did not go along to babymoon, you went with him. You need to be in charge of your finances if you dont want to hit the wall one day. Why are you joining him for dinners in the expensive restaurants?