Would you let your teen go to the beach with another family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, a parent willing to take all those people to the beach is not planning to supervise much if at all. You can tell by the number of kids the parent is allowing to go. I'd frankly be more worried about riptides and drownings.

Drownings?!?

They are teens. Do you supervise them at all times?!?!

NP - When they’re in something as powerful and unpredictable as the ocean, then yes, I would want them supervised at all times. Even though they’re aware of the dangers and have been to the beach, they haven’t spent enough time there for the relevant safety skills/awareness to be fully integrated like their safety skills/awareness of being in a city. Add in the distractions of a bunch of teenage friends who may be even less focused on safety and I think there is reason for concern. Are all the kids strong swimmers? Have the hosting parents even bothered to check? Even though my kids can swim, if their friend gets in trouble and starts to panic, they’re not prepared to safely rescue someone. Lifeguards are great, but if a beach is packed, they might not catch everything. It’s not like a pool where there is a limited area to watch, controlled conditions, and there’s always someone nearby.

These kids aren’t graduating seniors about to head off to college, they just finished junior high.

+1. I would want my kid supervised as well. Not every kid was on the swim team.

Maybe it’s because my experience is with Pacific Ocean beaches—but on my beach trips the extent of going into the water was just maybe going to where you’re knee deep. I’d see a few people actually swimming but for the most part the beach vibe was the main draw. Not actually swimming in the ocean.

No, here people actually swim in the ocean.

[Anonymous]

I would let my kid go. I don’t understand what people think would happen. They are in one house… the genders would be separated during sleeping arrangements. If you can’t swim, don’t get in the water. I think this would be fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I take friends to the beach every time and I never watch them in the water. I let the parents know up front they are mainly unsupervised. We have a house in OCNJ and it’s a dry town and the teens have full range of the island on their bikes.

They can’t swim after lifeguards finish at 5:30pm and an 11pm curfew. We usually meet up for dinners and they sometimes sit with us at the beach.

They are 16 and 18 this year and will do the same.

It’s good that you are honest about it. This would be a hard no from me.

You wouldn't let your 16 or 18 go to Ocean City NJ with their friend's family? Have you ever been there?

How controlling are you? Do you ever let your older teens out of your site? Can they not drive anywhere without you? Planning on heading to college with them in 2 months too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many friends?

OP here. It seems like each kid is inviting about 4 friends. So 8 in total. But DD also said there might be cousins. Not sure about that one. Basically a lot of kids!!!

We did this as kids and it was a blast!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, a parent willing to take all those people to the beach is not planning to supervise much if at all. You can tell by the number of kids the parent is allowing to go. I'd frankly be more worried about riptides and drownings.

Drownings?!?

They are teens. Do you supervise them at all times?!?!

It’s the ocean Linda, not the local club pool. Here’s a little light reading for you. And teens get even more boneheaded in groups.

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/safety-prevention/at-play/Pages/Water-Safety-for-Older-Children.aspx#:~:text=Teen%20drowning%20risk%20increases%20in,ponds%20and%20other%20natural%20water.

Oh sweetie, we all know it's the ocean. Not everyone is as paranoid as you.

From 1991 to 2021 there were 24 drownings in unguarded Maryland beaches and 2 in guarded beaches
From 1991 to 2021 there were 35 rip current drownings in unguarded Maryland beaches and 18 in guarded.

That is over 30 YEARS and it is ALL AGES!!

Teach your kids how to swim, tell them only guarded beaches, watch the flag colors, and only go in to their waist.

My parents didn't even watch me on the beach growing up and especially when I was a teen. You all need some Xanax. No wonder this generation of kids have so much anxiety. Have parents scared of every darn thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say no. They’re going to be drinking and smoking out.

By the parents with kids off doing there own thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say no. They’re going to be drinking and smoking out.

With the parents there? Doubtful. I can understand concerns about being supervised, but the idea that they are all going to get drunk seems unlikely.

We have a beach house, we’ve hosted friends before, most is 5 same-sex friends (girls). This was in a small, safe beach community with a private guarded beach. They were fine and had a blast. They also, at 14, don’t need that much supervision. You stay with them at the beach (with lifeguards), they hang out at hour or pool (with lifeguards or adult supervision), and in our case, they walked into town as a group one night to shop and get some ice cream. I probably wouldn’t love 2 big groups of mixed-sex kids, but I would get more info on the set-up first. At the very least, this will allow you to tell your daughter you considered it thoughtfully and it’s too big a group. Also would matter to me how well I know the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would if they weren’t taking so many extra teens. I was at Myrtle Beach last year and a 32 year old drowned trying to help his cousin get back to shore from the riptides. Lifeguards were on duty. The beach can be dangerous. This situation is asking for trouble.

In that situation, supervision would not have made a difference. The parent wouldn’t be able to run in and pull the kid back. Stop catastrophizing people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many friends?

OP here. It seems like each kid is inviting about 4 friends. So 8 in total. But DD also said there might be cousins. Not sure about that one. Basically a lot of kids!!!

We did this as kids and it was a blast!!

Oh as a kid I would and did absolutely love it. I also know nobody watched us the entire week so as a parent it makes me nervous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, a parent willing to take all those people to the beach is not planning to supervise much if at all. You can tell by the number of kids the parent is allowing to go. I'd frankly be more worried about riptides and drownings.

Me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our teen DD has been invited to the beach with a friend and her family. Friend is also inviting many other friends and the sibling DS is also inviting friends. Typically, we would be ok with our DD having sleepovers with this family (even though they have a teen son) but in this beach situation, boys we don't know are also invited. It just seems like a lot of teenagers to have under one roof. My gut is uncomfortable saying yes to this. DD will be devastated if we say no. FWIW-she's 14 (just done with 8th grade).

Your answer. ⬆️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Like I said, we are normally very comfortable with this family/older son. We just aren't clear on the friends, who they are and what the typical day/sleeping arrangements look like and who the cousins are (if they are even going or how old they are). DD and her friend are typically good 14yr olds-- minimal drama, into boys but not advanced for their age, follow rules and directions etc. I don't know the other girls but DD says they're part of the 'friend group' so I would assume they're similar.

I think it’s fair to ask the hosts these questions. And about food! Are they cooking dinner for all these teens? I’m curious about that, though wouldn’t factor into the decision. I was just at the beach with my 8th grade grad and her friends. In their bikinis they looked older and they’re feeling very excited about high school. Some high school boys could have taken advantage of their innocence. Maybe the boys in your situation would consider them off limits because it’s a sister, but I don’t know. Feels especially risky.

[Anonymous]

I’m pretty lax but that would be a no from me.

[Anonymous]

No.
If there are coed sleepovers i would need to be there and know exactly who is there.
As a survivor of SA, i can't put my child in any situation where it is ripe for something like that to happen.
Hang all day at hte beach all she wants, but would need to sleep at home at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I take friends to the beach every time and I never watch them in the water. I let the parents know up front they are mainly unsupervised. We have a house in OCNJ and it’s a dry town and the teens have full range of the island on their bikes.

They can’t swim after lifeguards finish at 5:30pm and an 11pm curfew. We usually meet up for dinners and they sometimes sit with us at the beach.

They are 16 and 18 this year and will do the same.

It’s good that you are honest about it. This would be a hard no from me.

You wouldn't let your 16 or 18 go to Ocean City NJ with their friend's family? Have you ever been there?

How controlling are you? Do you ever let your older teens out of your site? Can they not drive anywhere without you? Planning on heading to college with them in 2 months too?

My teen drives and she will head to college when it’s time. But she’s 16 now and no she wouldn’t go to the beach with a friend’s mother who straight up told me they would not be supervised. Your opinion on it matters not to me.