Husband with prostitutes, happy endings at massages, plus a girlfriend
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Anonymous
What if your your DH is a well-connected lawyer himself? |
Anonymous
| -your* |
Anonymous
It doesn’t matter. They can’t discuss your case. I divorced a lawyer. Him being a lawyer is irrelevant. |
Anonymous
|
eeew
You will never be invited to Professional Day at elementary school. And “this is how I divorce your mummy and your daddy in a Law-suit, kids!” |
Anonymous
| Sorry I read “I am a divorce lawyer “ |
Anonymous
Prepare first. Lawyer can be brutal in divorce court . There is no hurry Be steady and quiet about it |
Anonymous
| can you reach back out to the girlfriend ? will she talk to you? I would listen and learn - probably tape the conversation |
Anonymous
| If you do it in person it’s easy to record |
Anonymous
This could work in your favor. I highly doubt he'd want a long drawn out divorce where his involvement in sex trafficking would be made public. Make two appointments one with your doctor and get a full panel of std tests be sure to include HIV. Talk to a lawyer. No your options get your ducks in a row. Do you make your own income? Have savings of your own? |
Anonymous
I was about to post this. Sounds like he may be a sex addict, which means he is unlikely to change. |
Anonymous
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Do some research on how to start collecting evidence while you are still living with him.
If you live in Virginia video and audio are legal. You can tape whomever you live with but it might not be acceptable in court in some states (your lawyer can still use it to persuade and negotiate how you are going to get all of your money back to you) . I doubt anyone has been dinged by taping their spouse ! Also you decide what you want to share and what you want to delete I would keep that text number! She is dying to talk to you! |
Anonymous
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Your lawyer can help you. I would collect as much as possible before he catches wind that you know anything Congrats on finding out !
I love the lady who told you |
Anonymous
+1. His behavior w/ paid sex workers is criminal and could even be grounds for disbarment. I'm sure he knows that; he just thinks he won't get caught. |
Anonymous
| Everyone seems to be telling her to go to for a hardcore divorce lawyer and that's fine. But these kind of lawyers cost money, how is she going to cover the fees? Isn't she better off just going for mediation take 50% of everything and if mediation fails then try a lawyer. |
Anonymous
So sorry this happened to you. FWIW, it happened to me too (minus the GF telling me - I found out about the GF & prostitutes a different way). In my case, DH begged me to stay, promised to go to therapy, etc. How has your husband responded after the confrontation? TBH, I thought I had some obligation (because of my children) to stay and give DH a chance to work it out. But, what I learned is that there is no coming back from this kind of serial infidelity. It indicates a massive personality disorder, dishonesty, poor communication and disrespect & objectification of women generally (including you). And there is just no possibility that you will ever feel the trust and safety that are necessary to move forward. I shudder when I look back and think about how much time I wasted dealing with him and his problems - time that would have been better invested in myself, my relationship with my kids, my support network and my career. Frankly, by not ending the relationship immediately, I exposed myself to a lot of trauma, not the least of which was the very rape-y way he (and therapists) continued to expect some kind of sexual relationship between the two of us. Ultimately, about a year and a half after I found yet another piece of evidence, I told him he had to move out by the weekend, and that I would not keep secrets from my friends and family about why he was moving out, but that the kids were too young to know why and I didn't view it as my place to tell his parents, family or friends unless I was asked. This gave me some leverage as he could see that it was in his interest to leave so he could maintain his face in front of his circle. I wish I had saved myself some time and pain by saying early on that his non-monogamy meant that our initial marital contract was over, which meant that I would no longer sleep with him and no longer felt obligated to monogamy myself, and that I would need some time to process what had happened and decide whether I was open to new terms of continuing marriage. (I would not have been but I would have used the time such a statement brought to organize the divorce and prepare myself with individual therapy.). Do not under any circumstances get sucked into "couples therapy". Any kind of couples therapy is highly inappropriate when 1 part of the couple is abusive - make no mistake about it, repeated serial cheating is highly abusive. |