Husband with prostitutes, happy endings at massages, plus a girlfriend

[Anonymous]

OP he did that not YOU. You have not been humiliated at all. You are not responsible for the actions of a grown man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did your husband have so much free time without you knowing?

Blame the wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Contrary to what many women on this board think you cannot kick him out of the house. If you do and he wants to stay you have no legal basis to do so. Keep that in mind. My advice as married man is to do orcr this piece of sh**t. And do not blame yourself at any point. Many times people take for granted that finding a good and loyal spouse is kind of easy like just go on dates do blah blah and bingo. No it's PURE LUCK. Those who ended up with good partners got lucky period. I am sorry OP.

Not true in MD

[Anonymous]

Damn. Dude knows how to have a good time. Party on, Wayne

[Anonymous]

First step is to take good care of yourself. Finding a therapist will help, but so will making sure you eat and work out.

Second step: don't confront without evidence. He will deny, deny, deny and make you feel crazy. So stay quiet and dig. Get the information you need so that no one can turn it around on you and claim you are delusional. Because believe me, they will.

This step: get your ducks in a row. Where is the money? And find a good lawyer. Even if you choose not to divorce, you need to know your options.

And get over to survivinginfidelity.com for support. People on this board don't understand the way that infidelity veterans do. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

What you do is get tested for STDs and make an appointment with a divorce lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry. It’s hard to know what to do when you are blind sighted, humiliated and hurt. Having been in similar shoes, my best advice is to hold off on confronting him or taking any action - try to process the information, fact check, and seriously consider what your next steps will look like. Consider meeting with a therapist to help you sort out your feelings and develop a plan.
Do NOT discuss any of this with friends and family. If you and your husband decide to work through it and stay together, it’s best to maintain some privacy. Even if the marriage ends, you dont want his issues to define YOU.
You are in no way responsible for his behavior or his choices. He failed. You did not.

Blind sided

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did your husband have so much free time without you knowing?

Yeah, that's what I wonder too. Even a regular single guy wouldn't have time for all of that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Contrary to what many women on this board think you cannot kick him out of the house. If you do and he wants to stay you have no legal basis to do so. Keep that in mind. My advice as married man is to do orcr this piece of sh**t. And do not blame yourself at any point. Many times people take for granted that finding a good and loyal spouse is kind of easy like just go on dates do blah blah and bingo. No it's PURE LUCK. Those who ended up with good partners got lucky period. I am sorry OP.

Not true in MD

Whats not true?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did your husband have so much free time without you knowing?

Maybe he was taking time away from work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry. It’s hard to know what to do when you are blind sighted, humiliated and hurt. Having been in similar shoes, my best advice is to hold off on confronting him or taking any action - try to process the information, fact check, and seriously consider what your next steps will look like. Consider meeting with a therapist to help you sort out your feelings and develop a plan.
Do NOT discuss any of this with friends and family. If you and your husband decide to work through it and stay together, it’s best to maintain some privacy. Even if the marriage ends, you dont want his issues to define YOU.
You are in no way responsible for his behavior or his choices. He failed. You did not.

eff all that! Scorch the Earth, wiping him out in the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First step is to take good care of yourself. Finding a therapist will help, but so will making sure you eat and work out.

Second step: don't confront without evidence. He will deny, deny, deny and make you feel crazy. So stay quiet and dig. Get the information you need so that no one can turn it around on you and claim you are delusional. Because believe me, they will.

This step: get your ducks in a row. Where is the money? And find a good lawyer. Even if you choose not to divorce, you need to know your options.

And get over to survivinginfidelity.com for support. People on this board don't understand the way that infidelity veterans do. Good luck.

Do we really want advice from people who are professional betrayal victims? I'd consult a divorce attorney instead.

[Anonymous]

OP- travels for work most days of the week. The most nauseating thought is I wonder how many times he lied about a work dinner or declined a call or even talked to me in front of someone he was with when I was here doing homework with the kids, working through some thing with the kids that they were upset about, etc..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Document everything. Get a good lawyer. Divorce and move on with your life.

Why bother documenting? No one cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry. It’s hard to know what to do when you are blind sighted, humiliated and hurt. Having been in similar shoes, my best advice is to hold off on confronting him or taking any action - try to process the information, fact check, and seriously consider what your next steps will look like. Consider meeting with a therapist to help you sort out your feelings and develop a plan.
Do NOT discuss any of this with friends and family. If you and your husband decide to work through it and stay together, it’s best to maintain some privacy. Even if the marriage ends, you dont want his issues to define YOU.
You are in no way responsible for his behavior or his choices. He failed. You did not.

eff all that! Scorch the Earth, wiping him out in the process.

It doesn’t work that way. It just enriches the lawyers.