my husband's mother hit my kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes a quick swat for compliance is the way to go if all else fails. Sounds like the grandmother tried other methods and kid didn't listen.

People say that kids have no manners these days, no grit, too much of a snowflake. I think we've gone over board with the gentle parenting.

Gentle parenting doesn't mean do nothing. If you have to hit a child to get the child to comply, you are not someone who needs to be around kids. An adult should have other ideas for how to correct behavior than to hit. It's the type of reaction that someone uses when they have no clue how to talk to kids or how to teach kids how to behave.

I never said gentle parenting means do nothing, but leads to giving too much control to the kids and giving into them, coddling them, negotiating with them - which IMO is bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet the brat never tries that crap with Grandma again. The mother will bear the brunt of it as she has no consequences for behavior.

Just because a kid refuses to do something they are being asked to do doesn't make them a brat. Y'all are way too quick to take grandma's side.

and other people are over reacting to a quick swat on the leg.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do NOT hit my child because you are frustrated.

Grammy gets a long time out. Find another babysitter for a month or two and maybe consider going back to her after that.

No, you shouldn't but the child isn't going to suffer for it. Some of you are seriously over reacting.

It doesnt matter. If MIL will not respect my child (and no, hitting is not respectful in any sense) or my parenting, they do not get access.

If you think spanking is great, cool for you. But the second you try and spank my kid is where you are out of line (not you specifically, the general you/likely boomer grandparent).

A time out works wonders in these circumstances, so long as the parent can afford alternate childcare. I know not all parents have the financial flexibility to do so though.

You are over reacting.

Then its a good thing you are not my DH or MIL. I feel bad for your child if you allow any rando to smack them if they feel slightly frustrated.

Again, your kid is a little sh&t.
Grandma is not a “rando” by any stretch.
If the kid doesn’t have the good sense to treat his own grandmother with deference and kindness, you are a complete failure of a mother.
Despite what you may think of Grandma’s (or her generation’s) take on physical punishment, the fact remains that this entire discussion wouldn’t even be at issue of you had taught your child how to behave and interact appropriately toward his GRANDMOTHER.

And you were IN the house! Your kid feels so emboldened by you as it is that he had no issue defying his grandmother with you in the next room. And now that you are coming down overreacting to grandma’s frustrated reaction, you’ve just doubled down on his future lack of respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet the brat never tries that crap with Grandma again. The mother will bear the brunt of it as she has no consequences for behavior.

Just because a kid refuses to do something they are being asked to do doesn't make them a brat. Y'all are way too quick to take grandma's side.

And y'all are way too quick to paint grandma as a violent physical abuser for a swat to the thigh that didn't even upset the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any child who was physically struck cannot ever grow up to be a normal, productive member of society.

This. You are definitely NOT being dramatic about a swat on the leg. Tell that awful woman to save her apologies for when she’s visiting your ruined son in prison someday.

Both of these posters are either being sarcastic or are insane. She didn’t beat him with a stick or a belt, jeez, the kid won’t remember it

Its called boundaries. And its a hit on the leg now, next time what if kid talks back and grammy slaps them in the mouth? As a parent your job is to protect your children. Letting someone hit them because they were in a moment of frustration is not doing this.

You are leaping and also being overly dramatic. I think some of you women are complete drama queens.

I would not be happy if this happened, but they apologized, and they knew how upset you were. They also were probably upset at themselves.

Great that they were upset. Physical abuse has no place in the home, and absolutely not towards a child. I still wouldn't want someone with such a trigger to watch my child, at least not until I felt like I could absolutely trust MIL to follow my instructions. (I mean, how hard is "dont abuse my kid"????)

How hard is “don’t abuse the English language”????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any child who was physically struck cannot ever grow up to be a normal, productive member of society.

This. You are definitely NOT being dramatic iabout a swat on the leg. Tell that awful woman to save her apologies for when she’s visiting your ruined son in prison someday.

Lol That was a troll.

Gee, ya think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any child who was physically struck cannot ever grow up to be a normal, productive member of society.

This. You are definitely NOT being dramatic about a swat on the leg. Tell that awful woman to save her apologies for when she’s visiting your ruined son in prison someday.

Both of these posters are either being sarcastic or are insane. She didn’t beat him with a stick or a belt, jeez, the kid won’t remember it

Its called boundaries. And its a hit on the leg now, next time what if kid talks back and grammy slaps them in the mouth? As a parent your job is to protect your children. Letting someone hit them because they were in a moment of frustration is not doing this.

As a parent your job is actually to raise your children to be functional adults someday. Often this involves protecting them, but it also sometimes involves letting them experience the natural consequences of their behavior. If a child’s behavior is such that it causes his own grandmother to swat him out of complete frustration (not as a calculated disciplinary measure), I would consider that within the realm of natural consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet the brat never tries that crap with Grandma again. The mother will bear the brunt of it as she has no consequences for behavior.

Just because a kid refuses to do something they are being asked to do doesn't make them a brat. Y'all are way too quick to take grandma's side.[/quote]

I mean not really?…OP didn’t say that Grandma is typically a hothead who flies off the handle or who irrationally blames others for her quick temper. I think if that were the case, OP would have opened with that.
But OP made it sound like kid was pressing buttons and pushing boundaries and generally instigating and ramping up defiance until grandma had enough (all within earshot of mom).
Mom didn’t like grandma’s reaction (and in grandma’s defense, grandma wasn’t too proud of her reaction either)—but if mom isn’t willing to look at her own role in how it came to this (assuming grandma is normally not insane) then she is doing the works AND her child an extreme disservice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any child who was physically struck cannot ever grow up to be a normal, productive member of society.

I hope you are seriously joking. Otherwise, you are the one with mental issues.

A child being swatted on the leg once or twice does not equate to "cannot ever grow up to be a normal, productive member of society". You have to be f*n kidding.

And I say this as someone who was actually abused, like slapped on the face numerous times, picked up by my hair. I'm a "normal" (whatever that means) productive member of society. I sit in the PTA, lead Scouts, work (six figure job), and pay taxes ( a lot). I'm pretty sure I'm a productive member of society.

To OP, you are over reacting. They apologized. Move on. I'm pretty sure you've had parenting failures at one point or another. Your kid won't even remember the swat when they are older.

You're a bleeding idiot to respond to that troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do NOT hit my child because you are frustrated.

Grammy gets a long time out. Find another babysitter for a month or two and maybe consider going back to her after that.

No, you shouldn't but the child isn't going to suffer for it. Some of you are seriously over reacting.

It doesnt matter. If MIL will not respect my child (and no, hitting is not respectful in any sense) or my parenting, they do not get access.

If you think spanking is great, cool for you. But the second you try and spank my kid is where you are out of line (not you specifically, the general you/likely boomer grandparent).

A time out works wonders in these circumstances, so long as the parent can afford alternate childcare. I know not all parents have the financial flexibility to do so though.

You are over reacting.

Then its a good thing you are not my DH or MIL. I feel bad for your child if you allow any rando to smack them if they feel slightly frustrated.

Again, your kid is a little sh&t.
Grandma is not a “rando” by any stretch.
If the kid doesn’t have the good sense to treat his own grandmother with deference and kindness, you are a complete failure of a mother.
Despite what you may think of Grandma’s (or her generation’s) take on physical punishment, the fact remains that this entire discussion wouldn’t even be at issue of you had taught your child how to behave and interact appropriately toward his GRANDMOTHER.

And you were IN the house! Your kid feels so emboldened by you as it is that he had no issue defying his grandmother with you in the next room. And now that you are coming down overreacting to grandma’s frustrated reaction, you’ve just doubled down on his future lack of respect.

You are not replying to the OP. My kids are not little sh&ts and no grandparent has ever hit them. My kids know that I have their back and dont allow anyone to abuse them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any child who was physically struck cannot ever grow up to be a normal, productive member of society.

This. You are definitely NOT being dramatic about a swat on the leg. Tell that awful woman to save her apologies for when she’s visiting your ruined son in prison someday.

Both of these posters are either being sarcastic or are insane. She didn’t beat him with a stick or a belt, jeez, the kid won’t remember it

Its called boundaries. And its a hit on the leg now, next time what if kid talks back and grammy slaps them in the mouth? As a parent your job is to protect your children. Letting someone hit them because they were in a moment of frustration is not doing this.

As a parent your job is actually to raise your children to be functional adults someday. Often this involves protecting them, but it also sometimes involves letting them experience the natural consequences of their behavior. If a child’s behavior is such that it causes his own grandmother to swat him out of complete frustration (not as a calculated disciplinary measure), I would consider that within the realm of natural consequences.

Well, hard disagree I guess. Getting hit by a trusted family member is never an appropriate consequence IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do NOT hit my child because you are frustrated.

Grammy gets a long time out. Find another babysitter for a month or two and maybe consider going back to her after that.

No, you shouldn't but the child isn't going to suffer for it. Some of you are seriously over reacting.

It doesnt matter. If MIL will not respect my child (and no, hitting is not respectful in any sense) or my parenting, they do not get access.

If you think spanking is great, cool for you. But the second you try and spank my kid is where you are out of line (not you specifically, the general you/likely boomer grandparent).

A time out works wonders in these circumstances, so long as the parent can afford alternate childcare. I know not all parents have the financial flexibility to do so though.

You are over reacting.

Then its a good thing you are not my DH or MIL. I feel bad for your child if you allow any rando to smack them if they feel slightly frustrated.

Again, your kid is a little sh&t.
Grandma is not a “rando” by any stretch.
If the kid doesn’t have the good sense to treat his own grandmother with deference and kindness, you are a complete failure of a mother.
Despite what you may think of Grandma’s (or her generation’s) take on physical punishment, the fact remains that this entire discussion wouldn’t even be at issue of you had taught your child how to behave and interact appropriately toward his GRANDMOTHER.

And you were IN the house! Your kid feels so emboldened by you as it is that he had no issue defying his grandmother with you in the next room. And now that you are coming down overreacting to grandma’s frustrated reaction, you’ve just doubled down on his future lack of respect.

You are not replying to the OP. My kids are not little sh&ts and no grandparent has ever hit them. My kids know that I have their back and dont allow anyone to abuse them.

DP. Ok? But a swat is not abuse. Never has been, never will be. So not sure what you are referring to.

[Anonymous]

OP seems like a troll, starting multiple threads to rile people up... Take a look at the "pants off" thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any child who was physically struck cannot ever grow up to be a normal, productive member of society.

This. You are definitely NOT being dramatic about a swat on the leg. Tell that awful woman to save her apologies for when she’s visiting your ruined son in prison someday.

Both of these posters are either being sarcastic or are insane. She didn’t beat him with a stick or a belt, jeez, the kid won’t remember it

Its called boundaries. And its a hit on the leg now, next time what if kid talks back and grammy slaps them in the mouth? As a parent your job is to protect your children. Letting someone hit them because they were in a moment of frustration is not doing this.

As a parent your job is actually to raise your children to be functional adults someday. Often this involves protecting them, but it also sometimes involves letting them experience the natural consequences of their behavior. If a child’s behavior is such that it causes his own grandmother to swat him out of complete frustration (not as a calculated disciplinary measure), I would consider that within the realm of natural consequences.

Well, hard disagree I guess. Getting hit by a trusted family member is never an appropriate consequence IMO.

Ikr? Granny belted that kid something good. Oh, she didn't use a belt? Was it a spoon then, a big wooden spoon? No? Well what did she hit him with? Did they call CPS? Or the police?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do NOT hit my child because you are frustrated.

Grammy gets a long time out. Find another babysitter for a month or two and maybe consider going back to her after that.

No, you shouldn't but the child isn't going to suffer for it. Some of you are seriously over reacting.

It doesnt matter. If MIL will not respect my child (and no, hitting is not respectful in any sense) or my parenting, they do not get access.

If you think spanking is great, cool for you. But the second you try and spank my kid is where you are out of line (not you specifically, the general you/likely boomer grandparent).

A time out works wonders in these circumstances, so long as the parent can afford alternate childcare. I know not all parents have the financial flexibility to do so though.

You are over reacting.

Then its a good thing you are not my DH or MIL. I feel bad for your child if you allow any rando to smack them if they feel slightly frustrated.

Again, your kid is a little sh&t.
Grandma is not a “rando” by any stretch.
If the kid doesn’t have the good sense to treat his own grandmother with deference and kindness, you are a complete failure of a mother.
Despite what you may think of Grandma’s (or her generation’s) take on physical punishment, the fact remains that this entire discussion wouldn’t even be at issue of you had taught your child how to behave and interact appropriately toward his GRANDMOTHER.

And you were IN the house! Your kid feels so emboldened by you as it is that he had no issue defying his grandmother with you in the next room. And now that you are coming down overreacting to grandma’s frustrated reaction, you’ve just doubled down on his future lack of respect.

You are not replying to the OP. My kids are not little sh&ts and no grandparent has ever hit them. My kids know that I have their back and dont allow anyone to abuse them.

DP. Ok? But a swat is not abuse. Never has been, never will be. So not sure what you are referring to.

Swat: to hit with a sharp slapping blow usually with an instrument (such as a bat or flyswatter)
a powerful or crushing blow

Sounds pretty abusive.