Why was I so angry about this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A DH here. Sometimes you just need to let little Billy fall and get back up. He’s a big boy that’s needs his big boy pants. Also, as a model DH, I’d be trying to show my little Billy how to look cool skiing. Can’t do that from the rear. ⛷️😎

OMG, I just got the ick and I don't even know you.

When you are sitting around wondering why your wife is never in the mood, the answer is you, big boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Several issues here.

Yes DH needs to do his fair share.


You can't do that run as a family right now.


You , your child or someone else could have been killed or seriously injured by the actions of your family yesterday.


Selfishness is abundant.

Yesterday should have been a wake up call for .

marriage counseling might be in order

Are you the same poster again from the first page? You need a Valium

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A DH here. Sometimes you just need to let little Billy fall and get back up. He’s a big boy that’s needs his big boy pants. Also, as a model DH, I’d be trying to show my little Billy how to look cool skiing. Can’t do that from the rear. ⛷️😎

I know this is tongue-in-cheek, but this is most ski dads. I've had one, married one, it's my brother. Men (and some women) teach by leading and letting kids struggle to learn. OP, sounds like this is a trigger because you don't like that you're the breadwinner and the default parent. Understandable. Can you book a massage, and ski the first hour of every morning solo? Husband and kids can meet you after you get your fill?

[Anonymous]

I’m a husband and father that skis a lot with my kids. I generally disagree with the DCUM brigade about most things. I think OP’s reaction is perfectly valid.

Yes, there are times when I want to open it up and charge hard, but a father’s first and most basic responsibility is the safety of the family. He should have the second strongest skier lead and (presuming he’s the strongest skier in the family) he should be bringing up the rear to help with any trouble. If the skills gap is too great within the groups, break up into smaller groups. At the very least he should have turned back and not gotten out of eye sight.

If your husband was a father with my ski group I’d light his ass up when we got to the bottom.

If he wants to charge hard beyond the skills of the rest of the group, leave the kid at home.

Taking an experienced child skier on an icy blue run is perfectly reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Your husband sounds like a jerk. You should discuss on each run who is leading and who is in the back. I am a SAHM and the default parent but DH and I definitely discuss this on the lift and then multiple times mid run if need be. We have 3 kids and when we ski a run together, generally my older two will be faster and I’ll go catch up with them and have them wait for DH and the youngest, and then we will swap. I’m the better skier and generally prefer to be the last one down. I can stop on the side and watch for a while and then zoom down and repeat.

The fact that he doesn’t ever pause to see if you’re both following him is pretty rude. When my DH and I ski together just the two of us, I can’t imagine one of us getting so far ahead of the other that we wouldn’t stop and wait to make sure the other was okay. Not that we would need help getting up necessarily, but like, my DH wipes out behind me and I just keep going down and have a drink at the lodge while he is chasing down his ski poles?!? No! The point is to do the activity together. If we didn’t want to do it together, we would just each go off on our own. But if you’re going to ski a run with all three of you, I don’t get why he is just going down all on his own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rent Force Majeure tonight. It will help you figure out what you’re feeling.

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A DH here. Sometimes you just need to let little Billy fall and get back up. He’s a big boy that’s needs his big boy pants. Also, as a model DH, I’d be trying to show my little Billy how to look cool skiing. Can’t do that from the rear. ⛷️😎

Billy will grow up thinking his father is an a-hole.

A-holes are not fictitious unicorns; they do exist and some do spawn children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:we literally had this situation ourselves a couple weeks ago and it SUCKS. I actually stopped skiing with the kids as a result and they are back in classes so I totally feel your pain.

Same. I no longer ski with the family because of this. I now use the time to get a break from the kids for a few days. It is lovely. Suggest you try it. But this behavior from DH comes up elsewhere (ie hiking or sightseeing while on vacation) and I’ve not figured out a way to stop it short of divorce which seems extreme.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your first mistake was taking your kid on a run they did not belong on.

We are a ski/snowboarding family that flys from DMV to CO multiple times a month.

Not only did you risk your own son and yourself you put others in danger. Shame on you. Seriously judging you.

Your complaints are not valid.

Period.

Both you and DH need parenting classes.

Somebody flying multiple times a month to a ski-resort is a selfish and stupid idiot, which completely ignores the effects of its CO2 emissions on the climate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a husband and father that skis a lot with my kids. I generally disagree with the DCUM brigade about most things. I think OP’s reaction is perfectly valid.

Yes, there are times when I want to open it up and charge hard, but a father’s first and most basic responsibility is the safety of the family. He should have the second strongest skier lead and (presuming he’s the strongest skier in the family) he should be bringing up the rear to help with any trouble. If the skills gap is too great within the groups, break up into smaller groups. At the very least he should have turned back and not gotten out of eye sight.

If your husband was a father with my ski group I’d light his ass up when we got to the bottom.

If he wants to charge hard beyond the skills of the rest of the group, leave the kid at home.

Taking an experienced child skier on an icy blue run is perfectly reasonable.

Same here. I always stay uphill of the least experienced skier in my group. I’m usually the most experienced and the best at maneuvering on steep slopes helping get skis on/off. We ski with different families and usually someone hasn’t skied all that much. If it’s just my wife and me, I still go second because then I’ll know if something happens.

In all cases, sometimes I wait and let a lot of space grow between us and ski as I want until I catch up but I still stay uphill (sometimes it gets a little flat so I’ll go ahead at those points because I’m not going to wait for people who were bad at planning and I hate pushing/walking - but I wouldn’t leave my kid behind in that situation).

All things considered, OP, your husband sounds like a skier that doesn’t have as much skill as he thinks he has. He sounds like one of the people we all encounter who flies down the mountain but has little strength or technical ability.

It is a LOT of work to stop, wait, help people up, etc. maybe your DH is missing too many leg days and simply can’t contemplate how he’d hold an edge for 30 minutes and while getting the kids skis on and off.

[Anonymous]

You are mad because your spouse can breeze in and out as he wants and you have it be the responsible one.

[Anonymous]

Your feelings are 100 percent justified and deserve to be aired, but it also sounds like you yelled and were disrespectful to your partner in the heat of the moment. You can apologize for yelling but need to get him to understand that it was selfish of him to ski on ahead and leave you to deal with your child’s safety and the aftermath of his fall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your first mistake was taking your kid on a run they did not belong on.

We are a ski/snowboarding family that flys from DMV to CO multiple times a month.

Not only did you risk your own son and yourself you put others in danger. Shame on you. Seriously judging you.

Your complaints are not valid.

Period.

Both you and DH need parenting classes.

op - we were on a blue run that today in particular was very crowded and worked over and much icier than usual. We also ski every weekend. I can't perfectly judge the conditions every time but I assure you if we had thought it was too hard for him we would not have taken him (this kid has been skiing for 4 years). I obviously already feel awful about it. but thanks! now even worse.

OP - ignore this person. There are certain days with icy conditions and crowding which makes slopes challenging for even expert skiers. And a bad fall happens to all of us occasionally. Combine that with those conditions and there is no wonder he melted. You are fine. We are a big ski/board family too and stuff like this happens. Your husband though should share - mine would come back and look for me - he always leads and I follow but he knows to wait or check in if I do not appear.

Hang in there.

thank you - this helps. I have wondered this trip if it's even worth it because being so hyper vigilant and trying to make sure they have fun is really exhausting. but generally they do love it! I think i am just so burned out on the hyper-vigilance part and also the adrenaline didn't help.

There is your problem right there. Stop being hyper vigilant. I remember skiing (eh ... it was the 1970s, so take that with a grain of salt!!) between the ages of 6-10 alone all day or with my sister (same age as me). No parents in sight. Who knows where they were. Enjoying themselves I presume, an another slope. Your kids will learn resiliance and enjoy themselves more if you let them spend some time being independent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your first mistake was taking your kid on a run they did not belong on.

We are a ski/snowboarding family that flys from DMV to CO multiple times a month.

Not only did you risk your own son and yourself you put others in danger. Shame on you. Seriously judging you.

Your complaints are not valid.

Period.

Both you and DH need parenting classes.

Really?? Are you taking your kids out of school multiple times a MONTH?
Even if they're not yet in schoo, that's a 4-hour flight, plus at least a 2-4 hour drive, unless you're flying private to Eagle. Plus the 2-hour time difference. And you're doing that multiple times a month? That sounds great for everyone. LOL
Maybe a parenting class for you instead, crazy lady.

???
No we just live near skiing. Not everyone on this forum lives in dc

Not op here, but yeah, we are 20 minutes from a mountain - not colorado sized, but a good enough ski mountain to have an after-school ski club. It's not PREMIUM SKIING, but it is good enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your first mistake was taking your kid on a run they did not belong on.

We are a ski/snowboarding family that flys from DMV to CO multiple times a month.

Not only did you risk your own son and yourself you put others in danger. Shame on you. Seriously judging you.

Your complaints are not valid.

Period.

Both you and DH need parenting classes.

Really?? Are you taking your kids out of school multiple times a MONTH?
Even if they're not yet in schoo, that's a 4-hour flight, plus at least a 2-4 hour drive, unless you're flying private to Eagle. Plus the 2-hour time difference. And you're doing that multiple times a month? That sounds great for everyone. LOL
Maybe a parenting class for you instead, crazy lady.

???
No we just live near skiing. Not everyone on this forum lives in dc

Not op here, but yeah, we are 20 minutes from a mountain - not colorado sized, but a good enough ski mountain to have an after-school ski club. It's not PREMIUM SKIING, but it is good enough.

Do you fly there multiple times per month from the DMV? If not, your contributions aren’t relevant to the post being commented on.