Does your social circle have a lot of family money/trust funds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a few people with trust funds.

$500,000 is not working class in any circle. You just don’t know any working class people socially. Your house cleaners, your nannies, your yard people, and the server at your restaurant are working class. I’m not a social justice warrior but *any* stretch, but don’t call yourself working class in real life. You’re not and it makes you sound really unappealing.

When I said working class, I just meant people who are living primarily off their careers.

Not the definition of "working class"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[url]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll bite. I grew up well off and most of my friends receive money from parents in one way or another. My husband and I both have well off parents. We received a down payment for our pretty average, not new construction home as a gift. HHI is around 450k and we get a 30k annual gift. Other than that - which is huge- we dont have a trust or know anything about inheritance. We watch our money very carefully, max out retirement, and live in an average house. We send our kids to private school and want a third child, so we’re carrying the lions share of our lifestyle expenses, which we need to work to do. I think our parents intended for it to be this way- if we need help for something legitimate, they’re there, but otherwise, the gifts are a head start and not intended to have us living beyond our means.

Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

This is what we plan to do (once GK arrive, and if our kids want them to attend private schools). We will help fund anything educational for our kids and grandkids---best use of $$$ IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s an anonymous forum after all. Isn’t this the place to ask questions like this. I told the attitude from a lot of people with trust funds and family money is it’s crass to talk about it but again, it’s an anonymous forum. What does it really matter. Seems like a good place to be honest.

NP
I have never heard this from someone directly but there are many people who had a neighbor/friend/relative tell me that person had a trust fund. I wonder if they know EVERYONE knows because one or their friends is a big mouth. It's also possible that it's not even the case and just assumed gossip.

I think it’s just obvious in some cases. 3 kids in private school, second home, husband is a civil engineer and they live in a 3m house and drive an escalade/bmw. You need a very large salary to carry this lifestyle. We have a $500k family income and live a fairly normal life with kids in public school, just happens to be a great neighborhood but totally normal house that would be $400k anywhere else.

Lots of people like this in Chevy Chase. Expensive starter home that was either renovated or used to cash up to a bigger house. Club membership. Family vacation homes. Multiple young kids who will be lifers in private school. SAHM or mom who works very part time. Maybe some household help like a part-time sitter and weekly house cleaner. Dad is an attorney or some other job that makes good money, but not the kind of money for these expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

This can be for tax reasons. We can very easily afford private school, but the grandparents pay because payments for education don't count towards any gift tax limits at all, and it helps them reduce the size of their estate. While right now their estate is under the current estate tax limit, there is routinely talk at the national and state levels of lowering this limit, so they may indeed hit the limit in the future.

Whether it is for tax reasons or not, it is a huge help.

It's part tax and partly just "best time to help families is not when the Grandkids are 20+ but rather when they are in formative years" We would rather our kids/GK get the money when it matters most, not when kids are 50+ and GK are 20+ and we are dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a trust fund for a bit, but my parent decided to empty it before he died, giving the money directly to me and silbing. We now have inherited an add’l $1m in retirement accounts. I know you all are talking about double digit millions, we were no where close to that, but still it’s been huge for us. We two nonprofit workers earning less than $300k. Lm

A simple $1M is live changing for most people! Even more so for someone like you--in careers that simply will not have major salary increases beyond where you are at. Having it in retirement funds allows you to take that vacation now, knowing that you are on track for retirement and can save $5K less this year if you desire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s an anonymous forum after all. Isn’t this the place to ask questions like this. I told the attitude from a lot of people with trust funds and family money is it’s crass to talk about it but again, it’s an anonymous forum. What does it really matter. Seems like a good place to be honest.

NP
I have never heard this from someone directly but there are many people who had a neighbor/friend/relative tell me that person had a trust fund. I wonder if they know EVERYONE knows because one or their friends is a big mouth. It's also possible that it's not even the case and just assumed gossip.

I think it’s just obvious in some cases. 3 kids in private school, second home, husband is a civil engineer and they live in a 3m house and drive an escalade/bmw. You need a very large salary to carry this lifestyle. We have a $500k family income and live a fairly normal life with kids in public school, just happens to be a great neighborhood but totally normal house that would be $400k anywhere else.

None of this says trust fund to me. It says high income for a long time plus some inheritance. Engineers can do well. If you said all this plus “artist” then I would say maybe.

If it's your friends, you likely know their job(s) and what the corresponding income would likely be. Most engineers are not doing the above unless they benefited from stock options with a smaller company somewhere along the way. Engineers might be making $250-300K but that is not enough for a $3M home, second home and private school and expensive new cars. They had a money influx somewhere to support that---it might be stock options it might be family money. But it's not likely coming from salary

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s an anonymous forum after all. Isn’t this the place to ask questions like this. I told the attitude from a lot of people with trust funds and family money is it’s crass to talk about it but again, it’s an anonymous forum. What does it really matter. Seems like a good place to be honest.

NP
I have never heard this from someone directly but there are many people who had a neighbor/friend/relative tell me that person had a trust fund. I wonder if they know EVERYONE knows because one or their friends is a big mouth. It's also possible that it's not even the case and just assumed gossip.

I think it’s just obvious in some cases. 3 kids in private school, second home, husband is a civil engineer and they live in a 3m house and drive an escalade/bmw. You need a very large salary to carry this lifestyle. We have a $500k family income and live a fairly normal life with kids in public school, just happens to be a great neighborhood but totally normal house that would be $400k anywhere else.

Lots of people like this in Chevy Chase. Expensive starter home that was either renovated or used to cash up to a bigger house. Club membership. Family vacation homes. Multiple young kids who will be lifers in private school. SAHM or mom who works very part time. Maybe some household help like a part-time sitter and weekly house cleaner. Dad is an attorney or some other job that makes good money, but not the kind of money for these expenses.

Yup! So it's either family money or they are leveraged to the hilt and have no retirement/savings.

[Anonymous]

I am not close enough to many of our friends to ask this question, but I do have one very close friend who doesn't work, her husband barely works, and I know for a fact she has a very, very substantial trust (like beautiful primary home, kids in private, house in Nantucket, etc.)

What has shocked me most is just how many people have grandparents that pay for private school, either through a trust or just flat out. When two government lawyers have 3 kids at Sidwell you know that money is coming from somewhere else...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s an anonymous forum after all. Isn’t this the place to ask questions like this. I told the attitude from a lot of people with trust funds and family money is it’s crass to talk about it but again, it’s an anonymous forum. What does it really matter. Seems like a good place to be honest.

NP
I have never heard this from someone directly but there are many people who had a neighbor/friend/relative tell me that person had a trust fund. I wonder if they know EVERYONE knows because one or their friends is a big mouth. It's also possible that it's not even the case and just assumed gossip.

I think it’s just obvious in some cases. 3 kids in private school, second home, husband is a civil engineer and they live in a 3m house and drive an escalade/bmw. You need a very large salary to carry this lifestyle. We have a $500k family income and live a fairly normal life with kids in public school, just happens to be a great neighborhood but totally normal house that would be $400k anywhere else.

Lots of people like this in Chevy Chase. Expensive starter home that was either renovated or used to cash up to a bigger house. Club membership. Family vacation homes. Multiple young kids who will be lifers in private school. SAHM or mom who works very part time. Maybe some household help like a part-time sitter and weekly house cleaner. Dad is an attorney or some other job that makes good money, but not the kind of money for these expenses.

Exactly. No way an engineer can carry this lifestyle! Only situation I can see that happening is a tech engineer that got stock options or very high level at a faang with a highly specialized skill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not close enough to many of our friends to ask this question, but I do have one very close friend who doesn't work, her husband barely works, and I know for a fact she has a very, very substantial trust (like beautiful primary home, kids in private, house in Nantucket, etc.)

What has shocked me most is just how many people have grandparents that pay for private school, either through a trust or just flat out. When two government lawyers have 3 kids at Sidwell you know that money is coming from somewhere else...

Yes, and it’s a very big gift. 180k post taxes annually as “help” is a huge leg up to save for the rest of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[url]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll bite. I grew up well off and most of my friends receive money from parents in one way or another. My husband and I both have well off parents. We received a down payment for our pretty average, not new construction home as a gift. HHI is around 450k and we get a 30k annual gift. Other than that - which is huge- we dont have a trust or know anything about inheritance. We watch our money very carefully, max out retirement, and live in an average house. We send our kids to private school and want a third child, so we’re carrying the lions share of our lifestyle expenses, which we need to work to do. I think our parents intended for it to be this way- if we need help for something legitimate, they’re there, but otherwise, the gifts are a head start and not intended to have us living beyond our means.

Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

This is what we plan to do (once GK arrive, and if our kids want them to attend private schools). We will help fund anything educational for our kids and grandkids---best use of $$$ IMO.

That’s very generous of you. I think helping with private school or college fund is extremely beneficial for everyone involved. Better use of money than a trust at 25. I’ve seen this go wrong many times (drug use).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Old money whispers while new money shouts.

I don’t find this to be true at all. Most of the old money families drive flashier cars, wear designer labels and have much more outward displays of wealth, like knocking down their house and rebuilding. The “new” money (career wealth) might if they could afford it but in expensive areas doctor salaries don’t justify $5000 handbags. More like an electric minivan and college savings.

I have found it depends on the geographical location, in the U.S. Old money is more down to earth and not at all pretentious, in many areas. Only in the DC area is it acceptable to be pretentious, and overly overly interested in what others have or are doing, while (poorly) pretending you are not. So gross. I try to avoid the shallow, money grubbing types, especially as I get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not close enough to many of our friends to ask this question, but I do have one very close friend who doesn't work, her husband barely works, and I know for a fact she has a very, very substantial trust (like beautiful primary home, kids in private, house in Nantucket, etc.)

What has shocked me most is just how many people have grandparents that pay for private school, either through a trust or just flat out. When two government lawyers have 3 kids at Sidwell you know that money is coming from somewhere else...

Yes, and it’s a very big gift. 180k post taxes annually as “help” is a huge leg up to save for the rest of life.

Plus, the GP are also likely fully funding college for those grandkids as well. Not having to save $300-500K per kid for college is Huge for your finances.

It truly is one of the best "gifts" you can give your kids/GK.

[Anonymous]

No. Everyone I know is 100% self-made umc not rich (like 300k and under, from lm to mc)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[url]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll bite. I grew up well off and most of my friends receive money from parents in one way or another. My husband and I both have well off parents. We received a down payment for our pretty average, not new construction home as a gift. HHI is around 450k and we get a 30k annual gift. Other than that - which is huge- we dont have a trust or know anything about inheritance. We watch our money very carefully, max out retirement, and live in an average house. We send our kids to private school and want a third child, so we’re carrying the lions share of our lifestyle expenses, which we need to work to do. I think our parents intended for it to be this way- if we need help for something legitimate, they’re there, but otherwise, the gifts are a head start and not intended to have us living beyond our means.

Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

This is what we plan to do (once GK arrive, and if our kids want them to attend private schools). We will help fund anything educational for our kids and grandkids---best use of $$$ IMO.

That’s very generous of you. I think helping with private school or college fund is extremely beneficial for everyone involved. Better use of money than a trust at 25. I’ve seen this go wrong many times (drug use).

Our kids will be getting $8-10M each when we die, possibly a lot more. It just makes sense for each family to get the money now, while it has the greatest impact (education and possibly a nice downpayment so family can live closer to work or in area with great public schools) to make their lives easier. And yes, we would never just give a 25yo access to large amounts of money---it will only be for targeted uses. Goal is for them to use this to supplement life not for it to be their life.