Does your social circle have a lot of family money/trust funds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have lived in the same area for about 10 years and it’s become really clear that almost half our our social circle has very large trust funds and family money. Usually the husband has a career but it’s typically one with lower stress and a moderate salary and then the rest of the families are one or two income lawyers, doctors, software engineers, c-level, sales… usually with an income averaging around $500k, but it’s so evident how much better off the ones with trust funds are. It’s hard not to compare knowing our income is high but it’s just very hard to reach that lifestyle they have from having the trust fund there. I was wondering if anyone else’s area is like this and what your experience has been? I never really noticed it but now that we know these people and are close with them I see the difference. We are all 30’s/40’s. I’m also wondering if you are someone in the situation of a trust fund in a community like this, do you look down on the families that are working class?

We live in a DCUM-approved area, and the new houses seem to be built by young families with family help. But it has nothing to do with me. If you are asking if I respect self made people more than coddled or entitled people (which is what you seem to be getting at, OP) - then my answer would be yes, because that is what I relate to. Not every one in the new homes are either of those, however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not close enough to many of our friends to ask this question, but I do have one very close friend who doesn't work, her husband barely works, and I know for a fact she has a very, very substantial trust (like beautiful primary home, kids in private, house in Nantucket, etc.)

What has shocked me most is just how many people have grandparents that pay for private school, either through a trust or just flat out. When two government lawyers have 3 kids at Sidwell you know that money is coming from somewhere else...

Yes, and it’s a very big gift. 180k post taxes annually as “help” is a huge leg up to save for the rest of life.

Plus, the GP are also likely fully funding college for those grandkids as well. Not having to save $300-500K per kid for college is Huge for your finances.

It truly is one of the best "gifts" you can give your kids/GK.

Agree, but first gen parents do not usually have rich GP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone with a C-level job is making 7 figures. Here’s the average.

Chief Executive Officer (CEO) $754,713
Chief Operating Officer (COO) $457,468
Chief Financial Officer (CFO) $363,559
Chief Legal Officer (CLO) $333,980
Chief Information Technology Officer (CITO) $266,171
Chief Revenue Officer (CRO) $255,524
Chief Human Resources Officer (CHRO) $250,000
Chief Technology Officer (CTO) $234,700
Chief Marketing Officer (CMO) $230,735
Chief Information Security Officer (CISO) $217,144

Do these numbers include bonuses and/or stock options and other deferred compensation? For people in these roles, a significant part of compensation is not salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone with a C-level job is making 7 figures. Here’s the average.

Chief Executive Officer (CEO) $754,713
Chief Operating Officer (COO) $457,468
Chief Financial Officer (CFO) $363,559
Chief Legal Officer (CLO) $333,980
Chief Information Technology Officer (CITO) $266,171
Chief Revenue Officer (CRO) $255,524
Chief Human Resources Officer (CHRO) $250,000
Chief Technology Officer (CTO) $234,700
Chief Marketing Officer (CMO) $230,735
Chief Information Security Officer (CISO) $217,144

Do these numbers include bonuses and/or stock options and other deferred compensation? For people in these roles, a significant part of compensation is not salary.

There is also a world of difference between being c suite for a 50 person company. And being c suite for a hundreds of thousands of people company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone with a C-level job is making 7 figures. Here’s the average.

Chief Executive Officer (CEO) $754,713
Chief Operating Officer (COO) $457,468
Chief Financial Officer (CFO) $363,559
Chief Legal Officer (CLO) $333,980
Chief Information Technology Officer (CITO) $266,171
Chief Revenue Officer (CRO) $255,524
Chief Human Resources Officer (CHRO) $250,000
Chief Technology Officer (CTO) $234,700
Chief Marketing Officer (CMO) $230,735
Chief Information Security Officer (CISO) $217,144

Do these numbers include bonuses and/or stock options and other deferred compensation? For people in these roles, a significant part of compensation is not salary.

There is also a world of difference between being c suite for a 50 person company. And being c suite for a hundreds of thousands of people company.

You do realize there’s a lot more people out there who are C-suite for 50 person companies than companies with 50,000 employees right? This seems so basic. I don’t know why you’re assumption would be that my neighbor was the CEO of Amazon. Most C level employees aren’t making 7 figures but it’s usually a decently compensated role, in the top 10 percent of careers.

[Anonymous]

“your” for those about to do their grammar check!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone with a C-level job is making 7 figures. Here’s the average.

Chief Executive Officer (CEO) $754,713
Chief Operating Officer (COO) $457,468
Chief Financial Officer (CFO) $363,559
Chief Legal Officer (CLO) $333,980
Chief Information Technology Officer (CITO) $266,171
Chief Revenue Officer (CRO) $255,524
Chief Human Resources Officer (CHRO) $250,000
Chief Technology Officer (CTO) $234,700
Chief Marketing Officer (CMO) $230,735
Chief Information Security Officer (CISO) $217,144

Do these numbers include bonuses and/or stock options and other deferred compensation? For people in these roles, a significant part of compensation is not salary.

You’re still wildly overestimating this. DH is C level at a company valued a little under a billion and he is not making 7 figures. His salary is around $500k and that is market rate within the tech industry. He could possibly make several million if there is an IPO or exit but that’s not a given.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone with a C-level job is making 7 figures. Here’s the average.

Chief Executive Officer (CEO) $754,713
Chief Operating Officer (COO) $457,468
Chief Financial Officer (CFO) $363,559
Chief Legal Officer (CLO) $333,980
Chief Information Technology Officer (CITO) $266,171
Chief Revenue Officer (CRO) $255,524
Chief Human Resources Officer (CHRO) $250,000
Chief Technology Officer (CTO) $234,700
Chief Marketing Officer (CMO) $230,735
Chief Information Security Officer (CISO) $217,144

Do these numbers include bonuses and/or stock options and other deferred compensation? For people in these roles, a significant part of compensation is not salary.

You’re still wildly overestimating this. DH is C level at a company valued a little under a billion and he is not making 7 figures. His salary is around $500k and that is market rate within the tech industry. He could possibly make several million if there is an IPO or exit but that’s not a given.

+1
Sometimes the IPO/Exit happens, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it takes 10+ years.
When it happens it is extremely nice. But you typically live with assumption it won't happen

[Anonymous]

When I lived in SoCal the trust fi(u)nders (many) were more easy to recognize, this area is all about stealth wealth and stealth trust funds...though if I had a trust fund this would be the last area i would want to settle down in-its so boring!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s an anonymous forum after all. Isn’t this the place to ask questions like this. I told the attitude from a lot of people with trust funds and family money is it’s crass to talk about it but again, it’s an anonymous forum. What does it really matter. Seems like a good place to be honest.

NP
I have never heard this from someone directly but there are many people who had a neighbor/friend/relative tell me that person had a trust fund. I wonder if they know EVERYONE knows because one or their friends is a big mouth. It's also possible that it's not even the case and just assumed gossip.

I think it’s just obvious in some cases. 3 kids in private school, second home, husband is a civil engineer and they live in a 3m house and drive an escalade/bmw. You need a very large salary to carry this lifestyle. We have a $500k family income and live a fairly normal life with kids in public school, just happens to be a great neighborhood but totally normal house that would be $400k anywhere else.

None of this says trust fund to me. It says high income for a long time plus some inheritance. Engineers can do well. If you said all this plus “artist” then I would say maybe.

No, civil engineers that are in their 30’s and have been at the same company since college cannot do that well. Compensation is somewhat public now. You’re grossly underestimating the kind of salary you would need to support 4 kids in private and a 3m house. We have a $500k salary and that would be so wildly out of reach it’s laughable. Civil engineers in their 30’s don’t make 7 figure salaries.

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[url]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll bite. I grew up well off and most of my friends receive money from parents in one way or another. My husband and I both have well off parents. We received a down payment for our pretty average, not new construction home as a gift. HHI is around 450k and we get a 30k annual gift. Other than that - which is huge- we dont have a trust or know anything about inheritance. We watch our money very carefully, max out retirement, and live in an average house. We send our kids to private school and want a third child, so we’re carrying the lions share of our lifestyle expenses, which we need to work to do. I think our parents intended for it to be this way- if we need help for something legitimate, they’re there, but otherwise, the gifts are a head start and not intended to have us living beyond our means.

Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

This is what we plan to do (once GK arrive, and if our kids want them to attend private schools). We will help fund anything educational for our kids and grandkids---best use of $$$ IMO.

That’s very generous of you. I think helping with private school or college fund is extremely beneficial for everyone involved. Better use of money than a trust at 25. I’ve seen this go wrong many times (drug use).

Our kids will be getting $8-10M each when we die, possibly a lot more. It just makes sense for each family to get the money now, while it has the greatest impact (education and possibly a nice downpayment so family can live closer to work or in area with great public schools) to make their lives easier. And yes, we would never just give a 25yo access to large amounts of money---it will only be for targeted uses. Goal is for them to use this to supplement life not for it to be their life.

Our adult children will each be inheriting what is currently over $10 million when we die but the trusts are also set up to benefit their children down the road. We put $100k into each 529 plan soon after each grandchild birth and we gift the parents the annual gift limit which means each couple gets $72k. They are all doing very well on their own living what is likely an UMC lifestyle. I think we are being very generous without creating an incentive to not work hard. We have had many conversations with them about their financial futures and our expectations of them plus they work closely with one of our financial advisors who can give them professional advice. It's a real balancing act to do it right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll bite. I grew up well off and most of my friends receive money from parents in one way or another. My husband and I both have well off parents. We received a down payment for our pretty average, not new construction home as a gift. HHI is around 450k and we get a 30k annual gift. Other than that - which is huge- we dont have a trust or know anything about inheritance. We watch our money very carefully, max out retirement, and live in an average house. We send our kids to private school and want a third child, so we’re carrying the lions share of our lifestyle expenses, which we need to work to do. I think our parents intended for it to be this way- if we need help for something legitimate, they’re there, but otherwise, the gifts are a head start and not intended to have us living beyond our means.

So No, you don’t have a trust fund.

I have friends all over the map. Our children have money in trust. My husband has one. It bought our home so we didn’t need a mortgage, the kids have the private schools, summer camps, activities, vacations, cars.

We aren’t materialistic so our house is an old colonial that we never updated. Used cars etc It allows us to be debt free and still be able to pay for expensive experiences. I also quit work early on to take care of my three kids along with my mother. My husband would never quit work, “that’s not what men do”.

Why would anyone look down on people who work for a living? I wouldn’t want to know people like that. And I despise people who try to take advantage of workers by underpaying them.

It sounds like OP has curated a certain type of friend over the last ten years. The OPs friends can’t all be from the neighborhood. So it looks like an effort to sidle up to wealthy people and now realizing she can’t keep up with them.

No, you’re right I don’t have a trust fund. But part of my point is that both mine and my husbands family are wealthy enough to have set up trust funds but have both chosen to structure their estates in other ways so that their adult kids don’t have access to a huge sum of money. Most of my friends with family wealth are in thr same boat. There is a lot of wealth, but parents are helping out directly instead of it being a trust fund.

Pretty much the same difference if parents are buying adult kids a house and paying for private school tuition etc. and there’s a lot of that in my circle. Lots of three kid families in 2.5m dollar houses and private schools, with non 1% paying jobs (if both parents even work) and international vacations each year. I wish my parents paid our kids private school tuition, lol!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

This can be for tax reasons. We can very easily afford private school, but the grandparents pay because payments for education don't count towards any gift tax limits at all, and it helps them reduce the size of their estate. While right now their estate is under the current estate tax limit, there is routinely talk at the national and state levels of lowering this limit, so they may indeed hit the limit in the future.

The 2026 sunset provision will be cutting the federal tax exemption in half. The gift tax exemption will also be cut in half. Right now a married couple can gift $36,000 per person. Unless Congress acts it will also be cut in half.

m

If you want to keep the estate tax limits as they are now, then for all that is holy, please do not vote Democrat in the upcoming election. If you want to have your wealth forcibly redistributed to the masses then by all means vote blue. But don’t complain when they come for your hard-earned money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

This can be for tax reasons. We can very easily afford private school, but the grandparents pay because payments for education don't count towards any gift tax limits at all, and it helps them reduce the size of their estate. While right now their estate is under the current estate tax limit, there is routinely talk at the national and state levels of lowering this limit, so they may indeed hit the limit in the future.

The 2026 sunset provision will be cutting the federal tax exemption in half. The gift tax exemption will also be cut in half. Right now a married couple can gift $36,000 per person. Unless Congress acts it will also be cut in half.

m

If you want to keep the estate tax limits as they are now, then for all that is holy, please do not vote Democrat in the upcoming election. If you want to have your wealth forcibly redistributed to the masses then by all means vote blue. But don’t complain when they come for your hard-earned money.

Hard pass. I don’t think there’s any estate tax revision that could motivate me to vote for Donald Trump.

Secondly, republicans and Trump royally screwed high earners in blue states with his tax reform that limited the SALT cap to 10k. I trust Trump and republicans as far as I can throw them.

Lastly, there are so many other reasons more important than money that I would never vote for the MAGA party. Sorry. Maybe a middle of the road Romney Republican 15 years ago, but Republican Party of present had completely alienated the majority of the country, even the wealthy who have a financial interest to limit taxes but also have (gasp) a strong moral code.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

This can be for tax reasons. We can very easily afford private school, but the grandparents pay because payments for education don't count towards any gift tax limits at all, and it helps them reduce the size of their estate. While right now their estate is under the current estate tax limit, there is routinely talk at the national and state levels of lowering this limit, so they may indeed hit the limit in the future.

The 2026 sunset provision will be cutting the federal tax exemption in half. The gift tax exemption will also be cut in half. Right now a married couple can gift $36,000 per person. Unless Congress acts it will also be cut in half.

m

If you want to keep the estate tax limits as they are now, then for all that is holy, please do not vote Democrat in the upcoming election. If you want to have your wealth forcibly redistributed to the masses then by all means vote blue. But don’t complain when they come for your hard-earned money.

Unearned income isn’t that hard earned. The incentive is for people to put the money back into the economy. Stop hoarding it. Stop talking about “when I die” my children etc etc. Transfer money over your lifetime, give to charity, make a difference with excess money.

Less than 1% of people leave an estate that’s taxable so I’m sure there’s a lot of exaggeration here.