Does your social circle have a lot of family money/trust funds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No idea - I would never ask and nobody in my social circle would talk about something like that.

Same. Sure, I have neighbors who I know are well-paid but not ultra high earning (e.g., NGO or government) and have a very nice vacation house or send their kids to private school, and I wonder if they have family money, but I would never ask. And we're in the same position (government employees) and could afford those things if we were less cautious about saving, so there's no way for us to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hahahaha doctors, lawyers, C-suite are NOT “working class”

And if there are two of them they are making a lot more than $500k, at least in this area. Maybe op is in a LCOL area.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t know.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't know because they also work hard. I have no idea what they do for living or how much they make. I just know that they work way harder than I do.
I'm working on trust funds for my kids. I have very small needs and I greatly enjoy investing. It's like a double whammy.

[Anonymous]

Most of our friends grew up MC or maybe some UMC so there isn’t a lot of family money. My parents are quite wealthy and they give us $50,000 a year and we invest all of it. It hasn’t changed our lifestyle but it will make for a more comfortable retirement as well as peace of mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Old money whispers while new money shouts.

I don’t find this to be true at all. Most of the old money families drive flashier cars, wear designer labels and have much more outward displays of wealth, like knocking down their house and rebuilding. The “new” money (career wealth) might if they could afford it but in expensive areas doctor salaries don’t justify $5000 handbags. More like an electric minivan and college savings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hahahaha doctors, lawyers, C-suite are NOT “working class”

And if there are two of them they are making a lot more than $500k, at least in this area. Maybe op is in a LCOL area.

We are in our 30’s for the most part. I would say $500k is average household income in my area. So for instance, a doctor and teacher household. C-suite in 30’s is in a different salary range than 60’s. Most people I know in C-suite roles make about this or even less. Not LCOL but a C suite role in a tech company or finance would be about $400-600k, again but affording the lifestyle of 3m house, 4 kids in private, luxury home and second car. These roles and compensation may look different in 10-25 years.

[Anonymous]

not affording I mean..

[Anonymous]

Not everyone with a C-level job is making 7 figures. Here’s the average.

Chief Executive Officer (CEO) $754,713
Chief Operating Officer (COO) $457,468
Chief Financial Officer (CFO) $363,559
Chief Legal Officer (CLO) $333,980
Chief Information Technology Officer (CITO) $266,171
Chief Revenue Officer (CRO) $255,524
Chief Human Resources Officer (CHRO) $250,000
Chief Technology Officer (CTO) $234,700
Chief Marketing Officer (CMO) $230,735
Chief Information Security Officer (CISO) $217,144

[Anonymous]

People in my hood don't live off the trust funds, but they certainly all come from a place of extreme privilege. They wouldn't make the money they do if their parents didn't pave the way with all the money they had. And my guess is many of them were helped into the real estate privilege wheel by their parents and grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[url]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll bite. I grew up well off and most of my friends receive money from parents in one way or another. My husband and I both have well off parents. We received a down payment for our pretty average, not new construction home as a gift. HHI is around 450k and we get a 30k annual gift. Other than that - which is huge- we dont have a trust or know anything about inheritance. We watch our money very carefully, max out retirement, and live in an average house. We send our kids to private school and want a third child, so we’re carrying the lions share of our lifestyle expenses, which we need to work to do. I think our parents intended for it to be this way- if we need help for something legitimate, they’re there, but otherwise, the gifts are a head start and not intended to have us living beyond our means.

Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

Honestly, in my circle where everyone has trust funds or otherwise comes from a lot of wealth, I'd say that grandparents paying for education often has a larger impact on people's day-to-day than the trust funds. I have a trust fund that produces a modest (i.e. fed) annual salary, but that income is taxable. Many of my friends do not have trust funds but their parents pay all tuition expenses (so 50-60k per year, per child, after tax). With three kids, you would need a trust of 10-12M to be throwing off that kind of post-tax income.

So even with my trust and our healthy incomes, we have had to grabble with whether private school for our kids is worth the investment and fits our priorities since it's all coming out of our "pie." My friends whose parents are paying never had a second thought about private school because it is entirely divorced from their own income/investments. And school decisions end up having a big impact on where and with whom you and your kids spend most of your time for over a decade.

[Anonymous]

Grapple

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m that person with a trust/generational money in my social circle. Could be others, I know there’s been a lot of down payment help, but we don’t talk about it obviously.

Ask me anything

What career paths did you (and spouse) choose and do you work? What would you have done for a career if you didn’t have that money?

Are you open with your closest friends about it?

I followed my dad into real estate as I grew up around it and found it interesting. I knew my parents were doing well financially and my siblings and I all finished school without debt but I didn't have any nitty gritty conversations around family wealth with my parents until recently. I don't think my siblings are fully up to speed either.

They've only recently started writing big checks to help us out - most recently with home purchases and new cars. We're named beneficiaries on some trusts when my parents pass away but we don't get a set allowance or access to those trusts yet. The trusts are set up so that my parents can give us money or pay for childcare/tuition without worrying about gift limits or estate taxes. My wife is in medicine (PA/NP, not MD) and family support has allowed her to step back and stay home with our kids while they're young. She may or may not rejoin the workforce when they're older (I somewhat doubt it, practicing medicine today sounds like a grind).

We're opaquely open with our close friends because we don't want to pretend like we're working so hard or doing so well we can afford to have a stay at home parent and our house and everything on one salary. So when we bought our house we'd say something like "yeah, we're very lucky - it's a tough market and ____'s parents helped out a lot so we could get this place". That's acknowledging the family support without getting into specifics - maybe they think "wow, their parents gave them $50k" for a downpayment when in reality we took out a $500k mortgage on a $1.6 million house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have lived in the same area for about 10 years and it’s become really clear that almost half our our social circle has very large trust funds and family money. Usually the husband has a career but it’s typically one with lower stress and a moderate salary and then the rest of the families are one or two income lawyers, doctors, software engineers, c-level, sales… usually with an income averaging around $500k, but it’s so evident how much better off the ones with trust funds are. It’s hard not to compare knowing our income is high but it’s just very hard to reach that lifestyle they have from having the trust fund there. I was wondering if anyone else’s area is like this and what your experience has been? I never really noticed it but now that we know these people and are close with them I see the difference. We are all 30’s/40’s. I’m also wondering if you are someone in the situation of a trust fund in a community like this, do you look down on the families that are working class?

I know both types. I judge them on the content of their character. Seriously, I don't care. Good for them. I wish it were me. It's not my situation. My situation is still pretty good. We can all be friends. Why spend energy on things that don't impact me?

This^^^

I judge people on their character. Don't care how rich/poor you are or where you get your money (as long as it's not illegal/selling drugs/etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s an anonymous forum after all. Isn’t this the place to ask questions like this. I told the attitude from a lot of people with trust funds and family money is it’s crass to talk about it but again, it’s an anonymous forum. What does it really matter. Seems like a good place to be honest.

NP
I have never heard this from someone directly but there are many people who had a neighbor/friend/relative tell me that person had a trust fund. I wonder if they know EVERYONE knows because one or their friends is a big mouth. It's also possible that it's not even the case and just assumed gossip.

If a couple is working jobs that only bring in $400-500K total/year and they live in a $3M+ home, have a vacation home, fly business to Europe multiple times per year and other fancy vacations, both drive "new" $80K+ vehicles and the teens get $50K+ new vehicles, etc, then yes I'm going to assume there is a trust/some form of family money. Or they made it big with tech stock options somewhere along the way---but their career discussions would inform me if that was the case.