Does your social circle have a lot of family money/trust funds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

This can be for tax reasons. We can very easily afford private school, but the grandparents pay because payments for education don't count towards any gift tax limits at all, and it helps them reduce the size of their estate. While right now their estate is under the current estate tax limit, there is routinely talk at the national and state levels of lowering this limit, so they may indeed hit the limit in the future.

The 2026 sunset provision will be cutting the federal tax exemption in half. The gift tax exemption will also be cut in half. Right now a married couple can gift $36,000 per person. Unless Congress acts it will also be cut in half.

m

If you want to keep the estate tax limits as they are now, then for all that is holy, please do not vote Democrat in the upcoming election. If you want to have your wealth forcibly redistributed to the masses then by all means vote blue. But don’t complain when they come for your hard-earned money.

Hard pass. I don’t think there’s any estate tax revision that could motivate me to vote for Donald Trump.

Secondly, republicans and Trump royally screwed high earners in blue states with his tax reform that limited the SALT cap to 10k. I trust Trump and republicans as far as I can throw them.

Lastly, there are so many other reasons more important than money that I would never vote for the MAGA party. Sorry. Maybe a middle of the road Romney Republican 15 years ago, but Republican Party of present had completely alienated the majority of the country, even the wealthy who have a financial interest to limit taxes but also have (gasp) a strong moral code.

Agreed. I don’t know why we can’t find a Romney type like when he was governor of Massachusetts. He knew his constituents and supported liberal causes while being fiscally moderate. Where are they all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a few people with trust funds.

$500,000 is not working class in any circle. You just don’t know any working class people socially. Your house cleaners, your nannies, your yard people, and the server at your restaurant are working class. I’m not a social justice warrior but *any* stretch, but don’t call yourself working class in real life. You’re not and it makes you sound really unappealing.

Hmm, not sure I agree.....

Working class in some circles (not mine) is anyone who needs to work to maintain their lifestyles.

I was a waitress in HS and one summer in college. I grew up UMC/UC. I'm definitely not nor have I ever been working class.

I define UMC as grad school educated professionals (doctors, lawyers, some c-suite folks, some white collar professionals, maybe even some feds).. UC is these folks plus family money or folks who don't work (to me). Some people define it on income, some by wealth. Few people meet all the metrics, so do though.

I love how DCUM thinks their grad school degrees confer them with some sort of status and omits business owners from groups like this, even though the most successful business owners outearn all the others you listed. And many, if not most, of them don't have graduate degrees. Even among the wealthiest postgraduate degree holders - the doctors and lawyers and such - it is often their ownership stake in a business that is really responsible for their wealth.

Oh, I forgot to mention - and some business owners....

Happy?

Not an intentional omission, I know some folks who fall into this category, but not closely. They prefer to hang out with more working class folk, despite their wealth.

Ps - you sound triggered...that wasn't my intent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll bite. I grew up well off and most of my friends receive money from parents in one way or another. My husband and I both have well off parents. We received a down payment for our pretty average, not new construction home as a gift. HHI is around 450k and we get a 30k annual gift. Other than that - which is huge- we dont have a trust or know anything about inheritance. We watch our money very carefully, max out retirement, and live in an average house. We send our kids to private school and want a third child, so we’re carrying the lions share of our lifestyle expenses, which we need to work to do. I think our parents intended for it to be this way- if we need help for something legitimate, they’re there, but otherwise, the gifts are a head start and not intended to have us living beyond our means.

So No, you don’t have a trust fund.

I have friends all over the map. Our children have money in trust. My husband has one. It bought our home so we didn’t need a mortgage, the kids have the private schools, summer camps, activities, vacations, cars.

We aren’t materialistic so our house is an old colonial that we never updated. Used cars etc It allows us to be debt free and still be able to pay for expensive experiences. I also quit work early on to take care of my three kids along with my mother. My husband would never quit work, “that’s not what men do”.

Why would anyone look down on people who work for a living? I wouldn’t want to know people like that. And I despise people who try to take advantage of workers by underpaying them.

It sounds like OP has curated a certain type of friend over the last ten years. The OPs friends can’t all be from the neighborhood. So it looks like an effort to sidle up to wealthy people and now realizing she can’t keep up with them.

You’re just wrong. We all live in the same neighborhood and have been friends for years, raising kids together. Very tight knit community. My very best friends are mostly those in the same situation as us. It’s just more relatable for us.

Everyone in your neighborhood is in their 30s or 40s? You have no friends outside of people who live near you? What situation are you all in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

This can be for tax reasons. We can very easily afford private school, but the grandparents pay because payments for education don't count towards any gift tax limits at all, and it helps them reduce the size of their estate. While right now their estate is under the current estate tax limit, there is routinely talk at the national and state levels of lowering this limit, so they may indeed hit the limit in the future.

The 2026 sunset provision will be cutting the federal tax exemption in half. The gift tax exemption will also be cut in half. Right now a married couple can gift $36,000 per person. Unless Congress acts it will also be cut in half.

m

If you want to keep the estate tax limits as they are now, then for all that is holy, please do not vote Democrat in the upcoming election. If you want to have your wealth forcibly redistributed to the masses then by all means vote blue. But don’t complain when they come for your hard-earned money.

Hell would have to freeze over before I would vote for Trump and I'm a republican at heart. But, with global warming hell will not freeze over. We've put as much as we can afford into irrevocable trusts in advance of the 2026 sunset provision. Tax policy is low on my list of priorities in this years election.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll bite. I grew up well off and most of my friends receive money from parents in one way or another. My husband and I both have well off parents. We received a down payment for our pretty average, not new construction home as a gift. HHI is around 450k and we get a 30k annual gift. Other than that - which is huge- we dont have a trust or know anything about inheritance. We watch our money very carefully, max out retirement, and live in an average house. We send our kids to private school and want a third child, so we’re carrying the lions share of our lifestyle expenses, which we need to work to do. I think our parents intended for it to be this way- if we need help for something legitimate, they’re there, but otherwise, the gifts are a head start and not intended to have us living beyond our means.

So No, you don’t have a trust fund.

I have friends all over the map. Our children have money in trust. My husband has one. It bought our home so we didn’t need a mortgage, the kids have the private schools, summer camps, activities, vacations, cars.

We aren’t materialistic so our house is an old colonial that we never updated. Used cars etc It allows us to be debt free and still be able to pay for expensive experiences. I also quit work early on to take care of my three kids along with my mother. My husband would never quit work, “that’s not what men do”.

Why would anyone look down on people who work for a living? I wouldn’t want to know people like that. And I despise people who try to take advantage of workers by underpaying them.

It sounds like OP has curated a certain type of friend over the last ten years. The OPs friends can’t all be from the neighborhood. So it looks like an effort to sidle up to wealthy people and now realizing she can’t keep up with them.

No, you’re right I don’t have a trust fund. But part of my point is that both mine and my husbands family are wealthy enough to have set up trust funds but have both chosen to structure their estates in other ways so that their adult kids don’t have access to a huge sum of money. Most of my friends with family wealth are in thr same boat. There is a lot of wealth, but parents are helping out directly instead of it being a trust fund.

Pretty much the same difference if parents are buying adult kids a house and paying for private school tuition etc. and there’s a lot of that in my circle. Lots of three kid families in 2.5m dollar houses and private schools, with non 1% paying jobs (if both parents even work) and international vacations each year. I wish my parents paid our kids private school tuition, lol!

I think this is right. There are certain benefits to trusts -- two friends and one of my siblings have used them to give their kids equity in a company before it gets sold or before a major investment round (I am an attorney and helped them structure these) -- but for the most part I think our parents' generation of working rich (doctors, lawyers, execs, etc. who found themselves with 10-20m in retirement) is not creating trusts but rather trying to cover present expenses for their kids.

Also OP, trusts aren't always an influx of cash -- I have two trusts (one from each pair of grandparents, who were all very well off), and the income from the trusts goes to my parents during their lifetime. I cannot touch the principal except to pay for things that ensures their well-being (health, eventually retirement home or caregiver, etc.). Fortunately my parents are young-ish and healthy, but that means the trusts won't truly inure to my benefit until I'm 60/70. It's kind of silly...and IMO it would be preferable to just have direct, untaxed help with present expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

This can be for tax reasons. We can very easily afford private school, but the grandparents pay because payments for education don't count towards any gift tax limits at all, and it helps them reduce the size of their estate. While right now their estate is under the current estate tax limit, there is routinely talk at the national and state levels of lowering this limit, so they may indeed hit the limit in the future.

The 2026 sunset provision will be cutting the federal tax exemption in half. The gift tax exemption will also be cut in half. Right now a married couple can gift $36,000 per person. Unless Congress acts it will also be cut in half.

m

If you want to keep the estate tax limits as they are now, then for all that is holy, please do not vote Democrat in the upcoming election. If you want to have your wealth forcibly redistributed to the masses then by all means vote blue. But don’t complain when they come for your hard-earned money.

Unearned income isn’t that hard earned. The incentive is for people to put the money back into the economy. Stop hoarding it. Stop talking about “when I die” my children etc etc. Transfer money over your lifetime, give to charity, make a difference with excess money.

Less than 1% of people leave an estate that’s taxable so I’m sure there’s a lot of exaggeration here.

I’m anti estate tax but would never vote for republicans, and I completely disagree with you. My money is taxed once. My parents money was taxed when it was earned. Why does the government get to say whether they save it, spend it or give it away and to whom? Why could they donate it to a pro gun non profit tax deductible and not to their kids?

Tax once and tax fairly. taxing already taxed assets is governmental greed and a scam to cover up mismanaged federal dollars by grabbing more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll bite. I grew up well off and most of my friends receive money from parents in one way or another. My husband and I both have well off parents. We received a down payment for our pretty average, not new construction home as a gift. HHI is around 450k and we get a 30k annual gift. Other than that - which is huge- we dont have a trust or know anything about inheritance. We watch our money very carefully, max out retirement, and live in an average house. We send our kids to private school and want a third child, so we’re carrying the lions share of our lifestyle expenses, which we need to work to do. I think our parents intended for it to be this way- if we need help for something legitimate, they’re there, but otherwise, the gifts are a head start and not intended to have us living beyond our means.

So No, you don’t have a trust fund.

I have friends all over the map. Our children have money in trust. My husband has one. It bought our home so we didn’t need a mortgage, the kids have the private schools, summer camps, activities, vacations, cars.

We aren’t materialistic so our house is an old colonial that we never updated. Used cars etc It allows us to be debt free and still be able to pay for expensive experiences. I also quit work early on to take care of my three kids along with my mother. My husband would never quit work, “that’s not what men do”.

Why would anyone look down on people who work for a living? I wouldn’t want to know people like that. And I despise people who try to take advantage of workers by underpaying them.

It sounds like OP has curated a certain type of friend over the last ten years. The OPs friends can’t all be from the neighborhood. So it looks like an effort to sidle up to wealthy people and now realizing she can’t keep up with them.

You’re just wrong. We all live in the same neighborhood and have been friends for years, raising kids together. Very tight knit community. My very best friends are mostly those in the same situation as us. It’s just more relatable for us.

Everyone in your neighborhood is in their 30s or 40s? You have no friends outside of people who live near you? What situation are you all in?

Everyone we socialize with on a regular basis, which is about a dozen families we are close with (travel with, go on girls trips annually, kids sleepover our house, parents co-coach youth sports with, etc) and about 30 families we see regularly at our kids’ school, country club, etc. We do have friends outside of people who live near us but that’s not who I’m talking about. We see other local friends every few months for dinners, etc. but the majority of our social group are people that live in our neighborhood and that’s who I am referring to. In no way are you correct in your assessment that I’m social climbing to be with wealthy individuals. I’ve actually created distance with a few friends that do have significant family money just because it’s not a great fit for us for travel and a close friendship because we aren’t on the same level and keeping up is tiring and we don’t want to overextend ourselves. Just zero in common. We prefer to be with people in similar situations as us, it’s just easier and we can be more open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a few people with trust funds.

$500,000 is not working class in any circle. You just don’t know any working class people socially. Your house cleaners, your nannies, your yard people, and the server at your restaurant are working class. I’m not a social justice warrior but *any* stretch, but don’t call yourself working class in real life. You’re not and it makes you sound really unappealing.

Hmm, not sure I agree.....

Working class in some circles (not mine) is anyone who needs to work to maintain their lifestyles.

I was a waitress in HS and one summer in college. I grew up UMC/UC. I'm definitely not nor have I ever been working class.

I define UMC as grad school educated professionals (doctors, lawyers, some c-suite folks, some white collar professionals, maybe even some feds).. UC is these folks plus family money or folks who don't work (to me). Some people define it on income, some by wealth. Few people meet all the metrics, so do though.

I love how DCUM thinks their grad school degrees confer them with some sort of status and omits business owners from groups like this, even though the most successful business owners outearn all the others you listed. And many, if not most, of them don't have graduate degrees. Even among the wealthiest postgraduate degree holders - the doctors and lawyers and such - it is often their ownership stake in a business that is really responsible for their wealth.

Oh, I forgot to mention - and some business owners....

Happy?

Not an intentional omission, I know some folks who fall into this category, but not closely. They prefer to hang out with more working class folk, despite their wealth.

Ps - you sound triggered...that wasn't my intent.

Not the PP but you’re just condescending and not very likable if I’m honest.

[Anonymous]

DH has a trust fund and so do our kids. We also get annual gifting, 2m house is paid for through a family “loan” meaning dirt low rates and there is zero expectation for it to be fully paid back. Both of our kids are lifers in private. We are tremendously blessed.

Interestingly our friends never probe or ask questions even though I am sure we look ridiculous and obvious in our expensive house, cars, international travel because we are one fed and the other a sahm. I wish sometimes I could talk openly about it because I feel like I am hiding a part of who we are. At least I can talk about it here on an anonymous forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[url]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll bite. I grew up well off and most of my friends receive money from parents in one way or another. My husband and I both have well off parents. We received a down payment for our pretty average, not new construction home as a gift. HHI is around 450k and we get a 30k annual gift. Other than that - which is huge- we dont have a trust or know anything about inheritance. We watch our money very carefully, max out retirement, and live in an average house. We send our kids to private school and want a third child, so we’re carrying the lions share of our lifestyle expenses, which we need to work to do. I think our parents intended for it to be this way- if we need help for something legitimate, they’re there, but otherwise, the gifts are a head start and not intended to have us living beyond our means.

Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

This is what we plan to do (once GK arrive, and if our kids want them to attend private schools). We will help fund anything educational for our kids and grandkids---best use of $$$ IMO.

That’s very generous of you. I think helping with private school or college fund is extremely beneficial for everyone involved. Better use of money than a trust at 25. I’ve seen this go wrong many times (drug use).

Our kids will be getting $8-10M each when we die, possibly a lot more. It just makes sense for each family to get the money now, while it has the greatest impact (education and possibly a nice downpayment so family can live closer to work or in area with great public schools) to make their lives easier. And yes, we would never just give a 25yo access to large amounts of money---it will only be for targeted uses. Goal is for them to use this to supplement life not for it to be their life.

Our adult children will each be inheriting what is currently over $10 million when we die but the trusts are also set up to benefit their children down the road. We put $100k into each 529 plan soon after each grandchild birth and we gift the parents the annual gift limit which means each couple gets $72k. They are all doing very well on their own living what is likely an UMC lifestyle. I think we are being very generous without creating an incentive to not work hard. We have had many conversations with them about their financial futures and our expectations of them plus they work closely with one of our financial advisors who can give them professional advice. It's a real balancing act to do it right.

I'm the PP. This is what we do as well. Gift them yearly so they can maximize the 401k/IRAs. When GK arrive, we will superfund the 529s. It is a balancing act to ensure we don't disincentivize them to work hard. So far it's working. Luckily our kids work hard and like to save money. But they also know the gifts would stop if they were reckless (ie let's say buying a $100K sports car when it couldn't be supported by their own earnings_---we are multi millionaires and dont do that so not funding the kids to do it either)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

This can be for tax reasons. We can very easily afford private school, but the grandparents pay because payments for education don't count towards any gift tax limits at all, and it helps them reduce the size of their estate. While right now their estate is under the current estate tax limit, there is routinely talk at the national and state levels of lowering this limit, so they may indeed hit the limit in the future.

The 2026 sunset provision will be cutting the federal tax exemption in half. The gift tax exemption will also be cut in half. Right now a married couple can gift $36,000 per person. Unless Congress acts it will also be cut in half.

m

If you want to keep the estate tax limits as they are now, then for all that is holy, please do not vote Democrat in the upcoming election. If you want to have your wealth forcibly redistributed to the masses then by all means vote blue. But don’t complain when they come for your hard-earned money.

There are so many safe, legal ways around that with trusts. In fact, in many states, there are also state estate taxes, typically starting much lower than 13M, so many of us already do that to protect our estate (even at a few million). Very easy to protect your money from "death taxes". Any good estate lawyer will help you set that up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

This can be for tax reasons. We can very easily afford private school, but the grandparents pay because payments for education don't count towards any gift tax limits at all, and it helps them reduce the size of their estate. While right now their estate is under the current estate tax limit, there is routinely talk at the national and state levels of lowering this limit, so they may indeed hit the limit in the future.

The 2026 sunset provision will be cutting the federal tax exemption in half. The gift tax exemption will also be cut in half. Right now a married couple can gift $36,000 per person. Unless Congress acts it will also be cut in half.

m

If you want to keep the estate tax limits as they are now, then for all that is holy, please do not vote Democrat in the upcoming election. If you want to have your wealth forcibly redistributed to the masses then by all means vote blue. But don’t complain when they come for your hard-earned money.

Unearned income isn’t that hard earned. The incentive is for people to put the money back into the economy. Stop hoarding it. Stop talking about “when I die” my children etc etc. Transfer money over your lifetime, give to charity, make a difference with excess money.

Less than 1% of people leave an estate that’s taxable so I’m sure there’s a lot of exaggeration here.

We are not "hoarding" it. We give to many charities of our choosing and are making a difference. Our estate plan is set up to avoid any and all "death taxes". We also believe in transferring money over our lifetime but should it end early (ie we are not in our late 80s/90s) we will be hit with estate taxes if we don't have the plan in place. However, our family is our first charity, and we plan to help our kids, grandkids, nieces/nephews/etc with their education as well along the way.

[Anonymous]

I have a trust fund. Spouse does not. Attended SLAC where very few people I was friends with had trust funds so I have been shunned by the privilege shamers among them since graduation when they first noticed.

I have one friend who is supported by her father in her 40s (she is unemployed) and she is the most negative person in my so called friend group. I had to block her on social media because she kept DMing me rants about my privilege and how she “found my trust in public records” (DH and I put our house in our living trusts so not the same thing).

I don’t live the trust beneficiary lifestyle at all. 2 international trips in my lifetime funded out of income, I’ve never been a ski vacation, no second home, trust only pays for one of my kids to attend private school. Other than that I don’t draw from it.

Unless you go digging, you’d never guess to know me. I make about 50k/year and I save and invest most of that myself. DH makes about 300k, no family money.

[Anonymous]

For all of the people who read my post and turn red with rage: beneficiaries have to go through trustees to access funds. It’s not just a cash account they can access whenever they want. I have zero say over these funds which is why I don’t count on them. They aren’t mine to give away or spend as I wish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Oh and I’ll add that our private school has many grandparents helping with tuition.

This can be for tax reasons. We can very easily afford private school, but the grandparents pay because payments for education don't count towards any gift tax limits at all, and it helps them reduce the size of their estate. While right now their estate is under the current estate tax limit, there is routinely talk at the national and state levels of lowering this limit, so they may indeed hit the limit in the future.

The 2026 sunset provision will be cutting the federal tax exemption in half. The gift tax exemption will also be cut in half. Right now a married couple can gift $36,000 per person. Unless Congress acts it will also be cut in half.

The annual gift limit will not be cut in half. The lifetime gift exemption (i.e. the unified credit) is what will be cut in half.