private school admissions--what sets kids apart?
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Anonymous
No, I got it before too. Got it 20 years ago when I had to learn the first time. FWIW, these rules only continue as your child progresses through school. Everyone is curious about the VIPs, but you’re not supposed to say so out loud. You have to treat VIPs like normal people even if they’re not. You have to talk about racial justice and equity but then understand everyone will go to their racist country clubs after the DEI meeting including the then HoS. The list goes on and on. You have to decide if you want it enough to play by their rules. If you do, there they are. If you don’t, then you should be happy not to have to. When you understand this, maybe you’ll finally understand why some people prefer for their kids to be in public or so-called not “top tier” schools. |
Anonymous
Why exactly is it unfair? Because you assume they don't have the fortitude to make a distinction? Equating privilege, or lack there of, with an (in)ability to appropriately analyze options is at best, short-sighted, at worst, insulting. Underprivileged is not synonymous with incapable or stupid. |
Anonymous
What distinction is there between SFS and GDS? Is one more ethical and less racist? I was able to follow the thread until these posts. |
Anonymous
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There's two questions that are usually asked when you apply: why our school? And what other schools are you applying to?
This isn't to sus out the competition. This is to see if you're applying non-discriminately to all "Tier 1" and some "Tier 2"s. Or are they looking for something specific? Do you really know the school and know it'll be a good fit? If it seems like where you're applying is random, I'd make sure to include, we've looked into every school who offers robust math programs with a good swim team, etc. This is where knowing some kids who attend really help, We're good friends with Larla and Doug who talk about Ms Smith, the super math teacher who makes trigonometry seem like 1+1. |
Anonymous
Have you ever been underprivileged? I have. Where I come from, people don't use phrases like "fortitude to make a distinction." People use phrases like "you know those presidents sent their girls to Sidwell." When I had to write my "Why Princeton" essay, my dad said, "That essay is stupid. You just write, 'Because it's Princeton.' There. Three words. Done." I had to explain that it wasn't how that worked, and that when there was a 250 word limit, the essay shouldn't be 3 words. By that point, I was more privileged than he was, even though he was more capable than I. |
Anonymous
| It’s like in a job interview. When they say “Why do you want to work here?” The answer can’t just be, “I really need a job and all my friends will be impressed if I get one at Fancy Corp., plus I like the benefits here.” And no one argues with that - it’s just the way the game is played. This is the school admissions version. |
Anonymous
And I bet she's on DCUM now disparaging that school at every turn and pretending to be a parent there. |
Anonymous
| For us I think it was family involvement. DH at our previous school got really involved in organizing fathers' events. You don't see that at a lot of schools, and getting other fathers involved in the school (through events) can lead to more donations if the fathers feel more connected. |
Anonymous
Again, have you interviewed warehouse workers? This is exactly the kind of answer that is given sometimes. I don't argue with you that this is the way the game is played. I do think people are blind if they don't see the chasm between where some kids are coming from and the culture they're trying to enter. When the chasm is driven by priviledge and the school talks so much about equity, perhaps they should not be blind about this chasm. |
Anonymous
| I wish this thread existed when all of us were applying. Back then it was mad with flinging in all directions. I'm sure there were people who hesitated after reading all of the negative comments about schools. |
Anonymous
This is nearly exactly what I was going to write. When I interview people for a job, I always ask "why do you want to work here....and why do you want this role". The reason I ask is to better understand what is motivating them. I want to make sure they aren't just obsessed with the prestige. When my children were going through this process, we wanted to find the places that felt like good fits for them. Sure, I wanted them to go to great schools, but we didn't just apply to the "Big 3/5". In fact, my daughter disliked one of the ones typically referred to in the Big3 so much that she asked to withdraw her application. They both ended up at a great school, and for them...they didn't even know it was one of the best schools in the DC area...my older daughter just fell in love with the school and felt like she belonged there. She was right because it's been amazing so far. But I truly think that in addition to them being good candidates, it was also obvious why we were choosing that school and it wasn't for the rank. |
Anonymous
And the warehouse response wouldn't work for the top tiered schools...but you are right...the challenge is that not everyone understands how to play the game and handle the interviews. |
Anonymous
NP here. It's not just the interviews. It's also the essays and responses to questions. Here are two things that we did that I think really helped (we were applying for 9th, but likely this would apply anywhere from 6th on). 1) Focus on the school's stated values and philosophies and try to point back to them in interviews, essays, questions etc. Talk about how you are looking for a place that embodies those things and express how you see it played out in the school and why it will be good for your kid. 2) Think about how you "market" your child. This means creating a framework about how you want to present your kid and also how you think about schools. Example: Kid is a steller violist, shy, loves Spanish, is applying to NCS, whose core values are excellence, service, courage, conscience. Now, you write about how your student is looking for a school where they can contribute through the languages of music and Spanish, how they excel and are more "fluent" in those mediums. And how you are looking for a school that will support her courage to become more confident in other "languages." Daughter writes an essay about performing on stage, lessons learned, and how her ultimate goal is to be on stage in a venue like the national cathedral, playing as a representative and serving her school and community. The point is, make it easy for them. Connect the dots between your kid and the school as well as paint a clear and simple picture of your child. You get the idea. |
Anonymous
Back before J. D. Vance went totally off the rails, this was exactly the point he made in Hillbilly Elegy. There are certain advantages if you come from the right class or the right background that you don't even know you have. |
Anonymous
Yes, and for most things I have great sympathy. However, people who have 50K a year to spend on school have privilege enough to expect them to figure this out. |