At what point would you introduce serious BF to kids?

[Anonymous]

It's really one of those things that depends on a lot of things.

If a parent has 100% custody of teens who won't go stay with a babysitter, they essentially wouldn't be able to ever date someone during non-school hours when their teen is at home. And that would be ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's really one of those things that depends on a lot of things.

If a parent has 100% custody of teens who won't go stay with a babysitter, they essentially wouldn't be able to ever date someone during non-school hours when their teen is at home. And that would be ridiculous.

And if your ex is an abuser, this is 100% part of their plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, DCUM hates dating moms. You’re not going to get a realistic answer on this.

I’d say as soon as you think the kids are comfortable knowing you’re dating. I’d mention that first in a theoretical way, like “how would you feel if Mom had a boyfriend?” and talk about that first.

Your kids are teens with their own lives but still need a stable adult and a role model. So how you act in your relationship is setting them up to see how relationships should be.

I’m 41 and dating and the only way I could spend time with my boyfriend on the weekends was to introduce them. I also wanted to see how he was around them. My kids adore him. I am clear that he has his own place, that I still put my kids first, and we have a very healthy relationship - no fighting and we both go to therapy. I am very stable and don’t drag the kids around to boyfriend’s things, it’s the other way around where boyfriend does family things with me and the kids.

I’m of the belief you can’t have too many people love your kids.

Eye roll. You definitely can have too much change in a short period of time. And you definitely can have too many people foisted into your home when you don't want them there. Call that love if you want, I call it annoying.

Maybe your eyes were rolling too hard to read properly. There is no foisting into a home in my situation.

Not yet, but that's your long term plan, isn't it? And they will know, because they aren't stupid.

Bitter much?

I'm not the bitter much poster but the earlier one. "They will know" - as mentioned to eye rolling illiterate person, the kids already know the boyfriend because I introduced him. My longterm plan is to enjoy my life. I will continue to date my boyfriend and see where it goes. For most normal people that is what dating is like. I would lose money if I remarried and actually make more than the boyfriend so your idea that I'm trying to cohabit or remarry is rather naive.