At what point would you introduce serious BF to kids?

[Anonymous]

Or serious GF. Kids are teenagers.

Assume they have never met a BF/GF before, both parents have been separated (not living with stbex spouses) & divorcing for over a year, and neither BF/GF was an AP.

[Anonymous]

Not until you're divorced FFS!

And the boyfriend has to actually be divorced too. 100% divorced. Not "separated".

It really depends on the circumstances, but I see very little benefit to introducing. Are you planning to insert this person into their home lives and make them spend time with this person? Expect pushback.

[Anonymous]

After divorce from STBX, before engagement to serious BF

[Anonymous]

One year POST DIVORCE minimum

[Anonymous]

For me probably about a year. Definitely not till divorce is final.

I’m strange though as I keep my dating life separate- it’s what I do during my time without the kids. I have no interest in blending families or cohabitating so don’t need kids to meet a boyfriend. I think divorce is a big adjustment: I failed in picking a good husband so don’t trust myself to cause further upheaval in their lives by introducing a new partner. I’m fine waiting till they go to college for all of that.

- divorced six years with teens.

[Anonymous]

You need to ask yourself very seriously why you want to do this. What is your motivation?

And I would only do it if you're prepared for your kids to act out or be really cold about it. How will you respond? If you're fantasizing that everyone will get along great, drop that right now.

[Anonymous]

What's the point? Why do you need to in the 1st place.

I'd say once you are engaged and planning on living in the same space you could introduce them. So I'd say some time post engagement, 1 year before the wedding.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do it unless you are planning to move in or marry the new BF.

If you have sole custody, though, and have the kids FT, then it's a different story.

[Anonymous]

When you get engaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you get engaged.

This... stop rotating men/women through your children's lives.

[Anonymous]

Walking down the aisle.

[Anonymous]

What's the rush? You both have been there, done that.. married and divorced. It didn't work out for you.

I know this might be unpopular opinion on this thread, but don't bring BF home to your kids. If you guys are serious, just have him meet the kids outside the home, like at a restaurant. Do not bring him home until the kids move out. Too many predatory BFs/step dads. Your first responsibility is to your children. You can always get married later.

[Anonymous]

When divorce is final
And children have had time to process that, including therapy if needed.
When relationship is serious enough.
When parent can answer to what end the meeting is happening, assuming it’s not just convenient to allow the parent to date while kids are there

[Anonymous]

A year is nowhere near long enough for kids to process a divorce and be ready for a new partner. You're ready to make this change, but your kids are likely not ready at all. So be the adult and don't do it to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you get engaged.

This... stop rotating men/women through your children's lives.

Can you read? OP said kids had never met a BF/GF before.