“I don’t work here” rude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today I was in Sephora browsing. I had a bunch of stuff in my hands and I had a handbag. A woman said to me “excuse me, do you have this in ____ color”. I looked up, realized she was talking to me and said “Sorry, I don’t work here”. She replied, “you don’t have to rude, can you just point me in the direction of someone who does work here?”

I told her that I haven’t seen anyone who isn’t already helping someone and then I walked away.

I’m not exactly sure why/how I was rude but I’m also on the spectrum and have issues with understanding social cues at times. Advice?

right. she made a mistake. Why do you have to create a thread about it? Why do I have to read this nonsense if I am on DCUM? What a waste of everyone's time. Think better next time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today I was in Sephora browsing. I had a bunch of stuff in my hands and I had a handbag. A woman said to me “excuse me, do you have this in ____ color”. I looked up, realized she was talking to me and said “Sorry, I don’t work here”. She replied, “you don’t have to rude, can you just point me in the direction of someone who does work here?”

I told her that I haven’t seen anyone who isn’t already helping someone and then I walked away.

I’m not exactly sure why/how I was rude but I’m also on the spectrum and have issues with understanding social cues at times. Advice?

right. she made a mistake. Why do you have to create a thread about it? Why do I have to read this nonsense if I am on DCUM? What a waste of everyone's time. Think better next time

You don’t have to read it, that was your choice to do so. You’re choosing to waste your time by taking the time to click and post a reply. If you’re wasting your time it’s entirely your choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today I was in Sephora browsing. I had a bunch of stuff in my hands and I had a handbag. A woman said to me “excuse me, do you have this in ____ color”. I looked up, realized she was talking to me and said “Sorry, I don’t work here”. She replied, “you don’t have to rude, can you just point me in the direction of someone who does work here?”

I told her that I haven’t seen anyone who isn’t already helping someone and then I walked away.

I’m not exactly sure why/how I was rude but I’m also on the spectrum and have issues with understanding social cues at times. Advice?

right. she made a mistake. Why do you have to create a thread about it? Why do I have to read this nonsense if I am on DCUM? What a waste of everyone's time. Think better next time

NO, it isn't my choice. this garbage comes up on my screen when I click on dcum. WHY???? Can't people THINK (why do 1,000 people have to see my complaint) before posting? I don't do that to you.

You don’t have to read it, that was your choice to do so. You’re choosing to waste your time by taking the time to click and post a reply. If you’re wasting your time it’s entirely your choice.

[Anonymous]

She sounds like a typical entitled person OP. She was the rude one. "I don't work here" means I don't work here and have no idea how to help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today I was in Sephora browsing. I had a bunch of stuff in my hands and I had a handbag. A woman said to me “excuse me, do you have this in ____ color”. I looked up, realized she was talking to me and said “Sorry, I don’t work here”. She replied, “you don’t have to rude, can you just point me in the direction of someone who does work here?”

I told her that I haven’t seen anyone who isn’t already helping someone and then I walked away.

I’m not exactly sure why/how I was rude but I’m also on the spectrum and have issues with understanding social cues at times. Advice?

right. she made a mistake. Why do you have to create a thread about it? Why do I have to read this nonsense if I am on DCUM? What a waste of everyone's time. Think better next time

OP, this is another example of where you did nothing wrong and someone rudely went off on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You did nothing wrong and a normal person would have said "Oops, sorry!", not expected you to find her an employee!

+1 the other person sound like an incredibly entitled a-hole. Wtf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today I was in Sephora browsing. I had a bunch of stuff in my hands and I had a handbag. A woman said to me “excuse me, do you have this in ____ color”. I looked up, realized she was talking to me and said “Sorry, I don’t work here”. She replied, “you don’t have to rude, can you just point me in the direction of someone who does work here?”

I told her that I haven’t seen anyone who isn’t already helping someone and then I walked away.

I’m not exactly sure why/how I was rude but I’m also on the spectrum and have issues with understanding social cues at times. Advice?

right. she made a mistake. Why do you have to create a thread about it? Why do I have to read this nonsense if I am on DCUM? What a waste of everyone's time. Think better next time

NO, it isn't my choice. this garbage comes up on my screen when I click on dcum. WHY???? Can't people THINK (why do 1,000 people have to see my complaint) before posting? I don't do that to you.

You don’t have to read it, that was your choice to do so. You’re choosing to waste your time by taking the time to click and post a reply. If you’re wasting your time it’s entirely your choice.

To PP who is complaining - maybe you need to take a break from dcum. And your post is very odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’m not exactly sure why/how I was rude but I’m also on the spectrum and have issues with understanding social cues at times.

Perhaps the same was true of her?

I'm guessing there was something really off putting about OPs tone in response because the way they woman asked was as polite as could be, even if it was a mistake.

It’s so weird how you say it may have been my tone, but don’t give the same possibility for hers. You don’t know how either of our tones were but somehow you’ve gleaned that she was “polite as could be” and my tone was “off putting”.

-op

Because she opened up so politely "excuse me, but....." you didn't say she was huffy and demanding. If she had been you might have mentioned it. So, was she? Why leave that out? Because it changes your whole story. "This extremely rude and demanding person came out of nowhere demanding help!" And I think it's odd that you noticed every other employee was already helping someone. This whole thing is just weird.

[Anonymous]

Look OP, you started this post to get advice. And you really don't want to hear that maybe the problem is you. So what are you looking for? Everyone just to agree that she was the problem? Is that helpful?

[Anonymous]

I get asked if I am a store employee alllll the time. I have anxiety and definitely look around a lot and make eye contact with people as I scan my surroundings and I am guessing that’s why. It’s fine to help these people, and fine not to help. OP didn’t do anyth8ng wrong except come to a place as unkind as DCUM to ask about the situation.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps it was your tone? Or could have been her personality.

Nothing you wrote (on your part) sounds rude. Forget it...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’m not exactly sure why/how I was rude but I’m also on the spectrum and have issues with understanding social cues at times.

Perhaps the same was true of her?

I'm guessing there was something really off putting about OPs tone in response because the way they woman asked was as polite as could be, even if it was a mistake.

It’s so weird how you say it may have been my tone, but don’t give the same possibility for hers. You don’t know how either of our tones were but somehow you’ve gleaned that she was “polite as could be” and my tone was “off putting”.

-op

Because she opened up so politely "excuse me, but....." you didn't say she was huffy and demanding. If she had been you might have mentioned it. So, was she? Why leave that out? Because it changes your whole story. "This extremely rude and demanding person came out of nowhere demanding help!" And I think it's odd that you noticed every other employee was already helping someone. This whole thing is just weird.

If she had been as polite as you assert, she would've opened with "excuse me, do you work here?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This only happens to me rarely, and it does seem to be older people like the PP mentioned. I don't think they really think I work at Target, but it's clear they need help from someone, and I happen to be nearby. I try to help if I can by reaching an item from a shelf or pointing them in the right direction. I'm secure enough in myself to not get offended that someone might gasp! think I work at Target. Do people think they are too good for these jobs? Why take offense?

Lol no one in the thread, with the exception of you, is *gasp* "deeply offended" or *gasp* thinks they're too good for a particular job. Many of us have these things called jobs of our own and might not have the time or energy to help out everyone in Target. Great that you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This only happens to me rarely, and it does seem to be older people like the PP mentioned. I don't think they really think I work at Target, but it's clear they need help from someone, and I happen to be nearby. I try to help if I can by reaching an item from a shelf or pointing them in the right direction. I'm secure enough in myself to not get offended that someone might gasp! think I work at Target. Do people think they are too good for these jobs? Why take offense?

I’m in my early 60s. I try to figure out if the person works there before asking. The Target Red helps, but that’s only for Target. Sometimes I will ask, “do you work here?,” at a store where I have no clue. Sometimes I ask, “do you shop here and, if so, do you know where X is?”

And I try to be mindful because there are a lot of white folks who assume every person of color is a service worker when there can be some obvious clues that this is not the case, e.g., they are browsing clothing racks, pushing a grocery shopping cart and comparing prices, etc. The Amazon personal shoppers at WF are pretty obvious - they’re harried and working hard to be efficient. I don’t ask them where stuff is as they have a job to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This only happens to me rarely, and it does seem to be older people like the PP mentioned. I don't think they really think I work at Target, but it's clear they need help from someone, and I happen to be nearby. I try to help if I can by reaching an item from a shelf or pointing them in the right direction. I'm secure enough in myself to not get offended that someone might gasp! think I work at Target. Do people think they are too good for these jobs? Why take offense?

Lol no one in the thread, with the exception of you, is *gasp* "deeply offended" or *gasp* thinks they're too good for a particular job. Many of us have these things called jobs of our own and might not have the time or energy to help out everyone in Target. Great that you do.

There are a lot of people out there who think there are too good for those jobs. All they need to say is, “sorry, I’m in a rush and can’t help.”