“I don’t work here” rude?

[Anonymous]

You were not rude. She was embarassed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in JoAnn fabrics the other day and when my short 10 year old (4'6") walked over to swap out some fabric, a woman asked her if she worked there. She told the woman no and the woman just smiled at her... when she told me, I just figured that she may have just seen movement/not noticed that she was asking a tiny child with a shopping basket if she was an employee but sometimes people are weird.

4’6” isn’t short for a 10 year old girl and hardly a tiny child!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were not rude. She was embarassed.

If she was embarrassed, she was very rude about it.

I have been mistaken for a store worker more times than I can even remember. A lot and most times it’s by older folks. I don’t get upset by being mistaken for a store worker, and I don’t mind helping people as long as they’re polite about it. Sometimes I know the answers, especially at grocery stores. If somebody told me I was rude because I didn’t work at the store then you better believe they would hear me say “excuse you!” and see the back of my head as I walked away.

[Anonymous]

The words are not rude at all. Maybe there was something in your tone, or maybe she's just overly sensitive. No need to dwell on the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This only happens to me rarely, and it does seem to be older people like the PP mentioned. I don't think they really think I work at Target, but it's clear they need help from someone, and I happen to be nearby. I try to help if I can by reaching an item from a shelf or pointing them in the right direction. I'm secure enough in myself to not get offended that someone might gasp! think I work at Target. Do people think they are too good for these jobs? Why take offense?

But if you're busy and are asked a complicated question, you do understand that you are not obligated to help, right?
OP was not asked an easy question. She was fully within her rights to say what she did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to assume she thought you meant you didn’t work in that section or something because otherwise that response was bizarre.

this makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was she white, you POC?

You’re exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to assume she thought you meant you didn’t work in that section or something because otherwise that response was bizarre.

this makes sense.

+1

[Anonymous]

I’m not exactly sure why/how I was rude but I’m also on the spectrum and have issues with understanding social cues at times.

Perhaps the same was true of her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This only happens to me rarely, and it does seem to be older people like the PP mentioned. I don't think they really think I work at Target, but it's clear they need help from someone, and I happen to be nearby. I try to help if I can by reaching an item from a shelf or pointing them in the right direction. I'm secure enough in myself to not get offended that someone might gasp! think I work at Target. Do people think they are too good for these jobs? Why take offense?

But if you're busy and are asked a complicated question, you do understand that you are not obligated to help, right?
OP was not asked an easy question. She was fully within her rights to say what she did.

You're always in your right to be as rude or as helpful as you want. I choose to be helpful when I can because the thought of working in retail doesn't deeply offend me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I’m not exactly sure why/how I was rude but I’m also on the spectrum and have issues with understanding social cues at times.

Perhaps the same was true of her?

I'm guessing there was something really off putting about OPs tone in response because the way they woman asked was as polite as could be, even if it was a mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:this happened to me yesterday. i was just looking at stuff i was looking for when an older lady asked me if they had a paper towel holder. i didn't tell her i didn't work there. i just said, "i don't know, but i can help you look." then i looked for it for her and told her that i didn't see anything like that and good luck finding one.

You’re such a nice person. I hope my mom runs into people like you, she often gets confused.

I've had a number of experiences where another shopper has helped me find something, even to the point of going WAY out of their way because they knew where a hard-to-find item was located--and then (turned out the store was no longer stocking it) took it on themselves to do a major search. Even though I am 69 and honestly unattractive, with think gray hair that's flyaway and makes me look like a crazy person half the time. (Interestingly enough, more of them than not have been middle aged black men, some looking like low-income slobs and some nicely put together).

[Anonymous]

I've been occasionally confused with Target workers or WalMart workers or whatever retail store or restaurant I happen to be in at the time. I'm Latina and that is just something that happens. Most of the time I smile and point them in the right direction if I happen to know. But, you could catch me at the wrong moment and I'll just flatly say that I don't work here. That's my right too.

OP, you weren't rude. You were fine.

[Anonymous]

I think she got embarrassed and probably mad at herself and took it out on you… Her response was not normal and she was wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’m not exactly sure why/how I was rude but I’m also on the spectrum and have issues with understanding social cues at times.

Perhaps the same was true of her?

I'm guessing there was something really off putting about OPs tone in response because the way they woman asked was as polite as could be, even if it was a mistake.

It’s so weird how you say it may have been my tone, but don’t give the same possibility for hers. You don’t know how either of our tones were but somehow you’ve gleaned that she was “polite as could be” and my tone was “off putting”.

-op