“I don’t work here” rude?

[Anonymous]

How old was this woman? My mom has dementia and she just gets people and situations wrong and feels offended even if someone wasn’t rude at all. It makes me very sad. I wish we could all look out for each other more. (In fact, people do look out for her where she lives - the saints at the Apple Store keep fixing her phone for her)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this happened to me yesterday. i was just looking at stuff i was looking for when an older lady asked me if they had a paper towel holder. i didn't tell her i didn't work there. i just said, "i don't know, but i can help you look." then i looked for it for her and told her that i didn't see anything like that and good luck finding one.

You’re such a nice person. I hope my mom runs into people like you, she often gets confused.

[Anonymous]

This only happens to me rarely, and it does seem to be older people like the PP mentioned. I don't think they really think I work at Target, but it's clear they need help from someone, and I happen to be nearby. I try to help if I can by reaching an item from a shelf or pointing them in the right direction. I'm secure enough in myself to not get offended that someone might gasp! think I work at Target. Do people think they are too good for these jobs? Why take offense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this happened to me yesterday. i was just looking at stuff i was looking for when an older lady asked me if they had a paper towel holder. i didn't tell her i didn't work there. i just said, "i don't know, but i can help you look." then i looked for it for her and told her that i didn't see anything like that and good luck finding one.

I don’t think this is quite the same thing as OP described but it was very kind of you to help.

My mom is 80 and sometimes she gets overwhelmed at the store and she told me sometimes she’ll ask someone in the aisle near her for help even though she knows they don’t work there because it can be a lot of walking to find an employee. Usually they are kind and helpful, just like you PP.

The person OP interacted with was pretty rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was rude, not you.

+1

I agree w/this completely.

She was actually rude to YOU‼️

It is not up to you to find an employee to help her out!?

[Anonymous]

I was in JoAnn fabrics the other day and when my short 10 year old (4'6") walked over to swap out some fabric, a woman asked her if she worked there. She told the woman no and the woman just smiled at her... when she told me, I just figured that she may have just seen movement/not noticed that she was asking a tiny child with a shopping basket if she was an employee but sometimes people are weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was rude, not you.

+1.

She should have quickly informally apologized, like, "oops, sorry about that...I thought maybe you did with all that stuff you were holding"

Instead, she covered her embarrassment up by tell you, that you were rude.

And why did she want you to point her to someone who worked there??

This is not on you, or on ASD. Please know that and do not over think that you somehow were rude or at fault.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, she was rude.

In the past I get asked this questions often, it turned out I didn't wear a purse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in JoAnn fabrics the other day and when my short 10 year old (4'6") walked over to swap out some fabric, a woman asked her if she worked there. She told the woman no and the woman just smiled at her... when she told me, I just figured that she may have just seen movement/not noticed that she was asking a tiny child with a shopping basket if she was an employee but sometimes people are weird.

Haha this happed to me when I was a kid shopping with my older cousin at Victoria’s Secret. A women asked me where to find something and started asking if I could check for something else in backstock. I was so confused and, being an awkward tween, mumbled that I didn’t know and ran to catch up with my cousin. And I was a very small and young looking tween.

People can be so odd but these things happen often enough, shrug it off. She was being a weirdo but there are weirdos in this world.

[Anonymous]

And I would have told her “neither do you”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today I was in Sephora browsing. I had a bunch of stuff in my hands and I had a handbag. A woman said to me “excuse me, do you have this in ____ color”. I looked up, realized she was talking to me and said “Sorry, I don’t work here”. She replied, “you don’t have to rude, can you just point me in the direction of someone who does work here?”

I told her that I haven’t seen anyone who isn’t already helping someone and then I walked away.

I’m not exactly sure why/how I was rude but I’m also on the spectrum and have issues with understanding social cues at times. Advice?

Op are you brown? I’m AA when people do this to me I tell them they are being racist .

This happens to me a lot even when I’m with my kids. I’m short and people think I’m a kid a lot even POC. A salesperson knocked on my door and asked for my mother. 😆 op you must be short or dress like a kid

[Anonymous]

"sorry, I don't work here" is the correct and common response. Perhaps your tone of voice could have sounded rude? But she was in the wrong here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in JoAnn fabrics the other day and when my short 10 year old (4'6") walked over to swap out some fabric, a woman asked her if she worked there. She told the woman no and the woman just smiled at her... when she told me, I just figured that she may have just seen movement/not noticed that she was asking a tiny child with a shopping basket if she was an employee but sometimes people are weird.

This is going to be me. Now that my kid's teachers also look like students, and actors and my doctors look like kids, I'm totally getting age blindness and will be asking 10 y.os if they run the company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today I was in Sephora browsing. I had a bunch of stuff in my hands and I had a handbag. A woman said to me “excuse me, do you have this in ____ color”. I looked up, realized she was talking to me and said “Sorry, I don’t work here”. She replied, “you don’t have to rude, can you just point me in the direction of someone who does work here?”

I told her that I haven’t seen anyone who isn’t already helping someone and then I walked away.

I’m not exactly sure why/how I was rude but I’m also on the spectrum and have issues with understanding social cues at times. Advice?

Op are you brown? I’m AA when people do this to me I tell them they are being racist .

This happens to me a lot even when I’m with my kids. I’m short and people think I’m a kid a lot even POC. A salesperson knocked on my door and asked for my mother. 😆 op you must be short or dress like a kid

Happens (did more when I was younger) to me too as it does to everyone. I ask the wrong person too from time to time. I am a white European. It happens in Europe too. It happens to a lot of people without some implicit causation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was rude, not you.

yup typical NoVA entitlement and snotty behavior.