If you were no longer interested in sex, what would you want spouse to do?

[Anonymous]

I’m the spouse who know longer wants sex. Woman. I gave him a divorce. I can’t give him what he wants anymore and I can’t fake it. I feel badly but I no longer want or enjoy sex. I am sure he will meet someone nice. And I am happy to be single. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to point out that the same people who don't have sex with their spouse are often the ones who also cheat. Goes with the territory that they don't really understand the marriage contract from the start.

Overgeneralization.

My exH was bread crumbing me with sex (once a month), although I initiated way more often. He would pretend he was tired. I'm 10 years younger, good looking etc. Turned out he had a multi-year affair at work with a married woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just like to point out that the same people who don't have sex with their spouse are often the ones who also cheat. Goes with the territory that they don't really understand the marriage contract from the start.

Currently not having sex i will admit alot of masturbating but not cheating.

By your choice or theirs? If yours figure out why. Stop making someone live a life like this with you.

It was my choice and he didnt seem to have a issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) DADT
2) open marriage
3) escorts
4) accept it
5) divorce
6) other?

What's your gender and your spouse's gender?

I'd expect him to get intimate with Rosie and her five sisters. But, no, he's not putting that peen in some other lady. He's MINE.

If that is your actual situation with DH, the very least a wife could do is to be encouraging of DH doing you-know-what to relieve his “marital urges.”

You could be Supportive and encouraging. Ask him what would make it better for him? (short of s3x). Maybe offer to do it with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends why and how long it’s been/can reasonably be expected to go. If I just gave birth or have cancer, you should suck it up for a while. If it’s just an unexplained lack of interest that’s been going on/discussed openly as an issue for years then divorce.

My wife put me in my place over this she had given birth and wasnt in the mood. I kept asking and asking.

The minimum time for abstaining from sex postpartum is six weeks, from a medical perspective.

Why did you keep asking and asking?

Idk to be honest but i went longer then 6 weeks acting the way i did.

That's awful. Six weeks is the minimum. Did it not occur to you that your wife needed to recover and return to physical normalcy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends why and how long it’s been/can reasonably be expected to go. If I just gave birth or have cancer, you should suck it up for a while. If it’s just an unexplained lack of interest that’s been going on/discussed openly as an issue for years then divorce.

My wife put me in my place over this she had given birth and wasnt in the mood. I kept asking and asking.

you're a douchebag. She just gave birth, and you just kept asking and asking, putting more pressure on her? Ahole move.

+1

It is breathtaking to me that men often view women as beings who exist for their convenience and pleasure, and nothing more. It's truly as if to them, women don't have personhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends why and how long it’s been/can reasonably be expected to go. If I just gave birth or have cancer, you should suck it up for a while. If it’s just an unexplained lack of interest that’s been going on/discussed openly as an issue for years then divorce.

My wife put me in my place over this she had given birth and wasnt in the mood. I kept asking and asking.

you're a douchebag. She just gave birth, and you just kept asking and asking, putting more pressure on her? Ahole move.

+1

It is breathtaking to me that men often view women as beings who exist for their convenience and pleasure, and nothing more. It's truly as if to them, women don't have personhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) DADT
2) open marriage
3) escorts
4) accept it
5) divorce
6) other?

What's your gender and your spouse's gender?

Woman married to a man. If I was no longer interested in sex for a limited time (illness, depression, physical limitation) I would want him to accept it and tough it out. I would do the same for him and it feels like a pretty obvious part of the vows we took.

If I just decided that the sex phase of my life was over (hard to imagine, but I have seen some crazy stuff on these boards) I would want him to first and foremost not knock anyone up. I think I'd want either escorts or a semi-DADT situation where he can get some but not "date" and fall for someone. Again - hard to imagine, but in a world where I wanted to remain married I would not want him to fall in love with someone outside of our marriage. And I would be 100% against him using viagra or something in these escapades. If nature turns both of our libidos off at the same time then he doesn't have a legitimate complaint. Using pharmaceuticals to get it up while complaining your wife doesn't have a sex drive anymore to accommodate yours just makes no sense to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends why and how long it’s been/can reasonably be expected to go. If I just gave birth or have cancer, you should suck it up for a while. If it’s just an unexplained lack of interest that’s been going on/discussed openly as an issue for years then divorce.

My wife put me in my place over this she had given birth and wasnt in the mood. I kept asking and asking.

you're a douchebag. She just gave birth, and you just kept asking and asking, putting more pressure on her? Ahole move.

+1

It is breathtaking to me that men often view women as beings who exist for their convenience and pleasure, and nothing more. It's truly as if to them, women don't have personhood.

What is your interpretation of the PP DH's behavior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends why and how long it’s been/can reasonably be expected to go. If I just gave birth or have cancer, you should suck it up for a while. If it’s just an unexplained lack of interest that’s been going on/discussed openly as an issue for years then divorce.

My wife put me in my place over this she had given birth and wasnt in the mood. I kept asking and asking.

you're a douchebag. She just gave birth, and you just kept asking and asking, putting more pressure on her? Ahole move.

+1

It is breathtaking to me that men often view women as beings who exist for their convenience and pleasure, and nothing more. It's truly as if to them, women don't have personhood.

Your right and i was dealt with over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) DADT
2) open marriage
3) escorts
4) accept it
5) divorce
6) other?

What's your gender and your spouse's gender?

I would want to get to the bottom of why there was no interest. And spouse would join in on those therapy or doctor sessions.

[Anonymous]

I have no experience with escorts, but the more I think about it, the more I think maybe that's the best option. I would think it's much less likely to result in pregnancy or an emotional attachment than DADT or open marriage, so it might be a good temporary solution until the more eager spouse's drive also wanes and the two spouses are back in sync. In other words, it seems like if the marriage is otherwise a good partnership, using escorts allows you to keep the partnership while allowing everyone to have the amount of sex they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no experience with escorts, but the more I think about it, the more I think maybe that's the best option. I would think it's much less likely to result in pregnancy or an emotional attachment than DADT or open marriage, so it might be a good temporary solution until the more eager spouse's drive also wanes and the two spouses are back in sync. In other words, it seems like if the marriage is otherwise a good partnership, using escorts allows you to keep the partnership while allowing everyone to have the amount of sex they want.

Europeans have a very similar attitude.

Maybe after so many centuries of civilization, the Europeans are onto a viable strategy for coping?

[Anonymous]

You have no moral scruples regarding escorts? That would be divorce worthy to me. I have some exposure in my line of work related to law enforcement and I have found escorts are usually trafficked, abused as children, on drugs, or in desperate financial circumstances. I would not be ok with this just so I could stay married and avoid my husband catching feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have no moral scruples regarding escorts? That would be divorce worthy to me. I have some exposure in my line of work related to law enforcement and I have found escorts are usually trafficked, abused as children, on drugs, or in desperate financial circumstances. I would not be ok with this just so I could stay married and avoid my husband catching feelings.

Maybe it depends on the category of escort. Is that true of the high-class ones?