Why does my mom make it all about her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you OP. She ordered a gift she knew would not be there on Christmas when everyone was together to open presents. Now she has the gist, instead of sending it directly to your son -which is what a person who wants the kid to have the gift would do — she is making it about her giving the gift. Which also may be fine, but she wants it to be now and is blaming the OP for it taking too long. When if she wanted her grandkid to have the book, she would have just sent it.

This. Serious main character syndrome on Grandma’s part.

You guys invented Main Character syndrome just so you can label everyone with that, but yourselves, if course. No, this label belongs on OP.

G-ma wants to enjoy this book with the kid, she isn't phoning it in. Go Grandma. Boo OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because she loves him. Because it would bring her joy to see him open it. Because it’s normal if you live close for these little interactions to happen without them being a big deal.

No, this is not normal. “Love” is just sending a gift and knowing it will be enjoyed. Self-centeredness is holding a gift hostage until you can bear witness.

THIS. My mom is this exact way about gifts. Got so upset when my DD didn't open presents she brought to her party (it was with friends at a play place) so we opened them all later. Demanded I video her opening each present. Needless to say, that was the last time she was invited to her party. Another example is she got me a gift that I'd never once expressed interest in and then got upset that I never wore it. In fact, she messaged me to ask me to return it because I "obviously didn't like it".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Wow interesting that so many are defending OP's mother. I think people who aren't in these types of relationships with a parent don't get it. It's the cumulative effect of a lifetime of command performances that are completely on the parent's terms and if the parent's terms are not met and they are not properly adored (which is a bottomless pit), there is anger and manipulation and attention-seeking tactics.

A normal parent would say...I'd love to see you and Billy and give him his book. Is there a good time in the next couple of weeks? If not, I'll pop the book in the mail to you and let me know when I can see you all next.

And then stop. Wait. Listen. Respond to what comes next and don't bully your way into getting what you want.

Well said.