How is it possible for people to not be able to afford children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They cant afford children and have the same lifestyle as pre children. Daycare is $2500 per month for one. That for at least 3 years. Diaper etc etc all adds up too.

With daycare that expensive + housing family would be spending close to 50k a year. For a family making 60k that's not a matter of lifestyle, it's a financial disaster.

There's a wide range of daycare costs. They are not all 2500/mo in the DMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this for real?
You were making 50K, which is closer to what an average american makes compared to what your husband makes. Now imagine that instead of having a husband making 150K, you had one that made 50k like you did. Staying home under that situation would leave you 50K minus taxes, which is not poverty level, but low for any practical purpose. If instead you decided to go to work, you'd be spending 20k+ on daycare, assuming both you and your husband had regular schedules and didn't work shifts.

OP here. I'd assume that as a woman who's interested in having children you wouldn't look for a man making 50K unless you're fresh out of school or you wanted to become a provider yourself and as I said. 150K is pretty normal here. Almost any couple of professionals should be able to hit that mark in their 30s.

I was never raised to look for a husband based on salary.

You sound old fashioned and like you have spent your life in a bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op sounds like a troll.

This is a troll post for sure. Thinking everyone can "make $150k by their 30s". Should we just not have teachers, professors, physical therapists, nurses in DC? There are plenty of professional jobs that don't make $150k.

Understand your point but, as a woman, I purposely didn’t go into a a more flexible but lower paying field like physical therapy, speech therapy, social work etc. I know MANY women who did this, banking on getting married to someone making multiple times their salaries, and then ultimately staying at home with their kids before maybe going back to work. at 22, I didn’t see the ROI- those low paying fields, while extremely noble and possibly fulfilling, require grad school and very little opportunity to make decent money long term. I was thinking along the lines of “I want to get married at some point, but what happens if I don’t? What career would I need to support myself adequately, and has more possibilities for making decent money?”

That’s fine, but if no one went into speech therapy your brat would never learn how to enunciate properly. Guess it’s good some people are more selfless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is very expensive to raise a child but if there is a will there is a way. But you need the will! For many couples the affordability issue is a smokescreen for not being sure they want to upend their lives which is what parenting is all about.

That's exactly what my brother did. Him and his partner were making around 40k and 30k respectively and decided to have kids because "we can always adjust our lifestyle". The kid came and none of them had parental leave so SIL got an extended vacation.

The daycare was around around 16K a year and the list to get subsidized care was too long. Daycare was also Monday to Friday, from 7am to 6pm, but both of them also worked hours when it was not available.

SIL ended up quitting her job and now they live on 40k a year. They live in a "cheap" apartment and rarely go out, but most of their money goes to paying bills. They save, but if my brother gets laid off or sick they won't have enough savings to mitigate the lack of income for more than a month or so. In their fields it's not possible to make more money unless they go to school which none of us could afford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They cant afford children and have the same lifestyle as pre children. Daycare is $2500 per month for one. That for at least 3 years. Diaper etc etc all adds up too.

With daycare that expensive + housing family would be spending close to 50k a year. For a family making 60k that's not a matter of lifestyle, it's a financial disaster.

There's a wide range of daycare costs. They are not all 2500/mo in the DMV.

True. The poster I quoted probably uses an expensive one, but daycare for infants is easily more than 1k a month. That's still too expensive for low income families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They cant afford children and have the same lifestyle as pre children. Daycare is $2500 per month for one. That for at least 3 years. Diaper etc etc all adds up too.

With daycare that expensive + housing family would be spending close to 50k a year. For a family making 60k that's not a matter of lifestyle, it's a financial disaster.

There's a wide range of daycare costs. They are not all 2500/mo in the DMV.

Where is there an infant daycare for less than 2,500 a month in the DCUM area - besides the exurbs and areas you don’t want to walk in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They cant afford children and have the same lifestyle as pre children. Daycare is $2500 per month for one. That for at least 3 years. Diaper etc etc all adds up too.

With daycare that expensive + housing family would be spending close to 50k a year. For a family making 60k that's not a matter of lifestyle, it's a financial disaster.

There's a wide range of daycare costs. They are not all 2500/mo in the DMV.

True. The poster I quoted probably uses an expensive one, but daycare for infants is easily more than 1k a month. That's still too expensive for low income families.

10 years ago I couldn’t find daycare for as little as $1k. I’m close in DMV and worked in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've heard the "I can't afford children" from many couples without children. These couples are in their 30s which is an age at which you've worked enough to have a decently paying career, so it's weird. I was making around 50K before I had my children and stayed home and my husband didn't hit 150k until a couples of years later, so we're pretty average in our area. We're planning to send our kids to public school when they're older and enroll them in cheaper activities, but it looks like everyone around us is holding out for private schools which can be incredibly expensive. Have these lifestyle expectations made children "unaffordable" or there's something else I'm missing?

Well, see, memory care for my mom costs $8,000 a month with no end in sight, while daycare for an infant costs $3,000 a month. I can choose to not have more kids, but the state frowns on choosing to eliminate parents. But sure, you can go ahead and have kids on a single small salary like my parents did, and just YOLO your way through it. But I can't afford to save for my own retirement AND college for kids while my mom is still alive, and I'll be too old for kids when she finally kicks off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I make $58k as a teacher. My spouse, also a teacher, makes about the same. Our combined income is under $120k and that's before taxes/retirement/etc.

We have been denied a home loan because the bank doesn't think we make enough to be able to pay a mortgage even though we have never once missed a rent payment of $2290/month. And we both have excellent credit scores. We do both have student loan debt we carry ($22k for me and $29k for my spouse). We have no other debt.

I'd love to have kids, but it's just not feasible for us in this area. We've thought about moving but our entire support system is here. We both grew up in this area and all our family and friends live here.

I am approaching 30 and my spouse just turned 30. We don't live extravagant lives at all. We eat out once a week. We aren't coffee drinkers so there's no pesky daily Starbucks to cut out that B**mers like to advise us to eliminate to save money. We just paid off my car last year and my spouse still drives the car he was gifted after his college graduation 8 years ago. We take 1 vacation each year, usually to OCMD or VA Beach. His parents own a cabin on Lake Anna that we sometimes use once or twice a year if it's not being rented out.

From what I've seen, unless a teacher is married to a high-earning spouse, they really struggle financially once kids are thrown into the mix.

I'm a teacher and a parent. Where are you living that you are paying that much? That's ridiculous. I live in a 2 bedroom basement apartment in a good school area for $1500.

[Anonymous]

Didnt read the responses but daycare was 75% of my income when my son was born. I wanted to keep working, so we paid it and existed on my husband's salary and then I eventually made more and daycare ended and we were OK, but we would have had to make significant cuts to have a 2nd. We only have 1 partly for that reason. 2 kids in daycare is more than a lotnof people make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make $58k as a teacher. My spouse, also a teacher, makes about the same. Our combined income is under $120k and that's before taxes/retirement/etc.

We have been denied a home loan because the bank doesn't think we make enough to be able to pay a mortgage even though we have never once missed a rent payment of $2290/month. And we both have excellent credit scores. We do both have student loan debt we carry ($22k for me and $29k for my spouse). We have no other debt.

I'd love to have kids, but it's just not feasible for us in this area. We've thought about moving but our entire support system is here. We both grew up in this area and all our family and friends live here.

I am approaching 30 and my spouse just turned 30. We don't live extravagant lives at all. We eat out once a week. We aren't coffee drinkers so there's no pesky daily Starbucks to cut out that B**mers like to advise us to eliminate to save money. We just paid off my car last year and my spouse still drives the car he was gifted after his college graduation 8 years ago. We take 1 vacation each year, usually to OCMD or VA Beach. His parents own a cabin on Lake Anna that we sometimes use once or twice a year if it's not being rented out.

From what I've seen, unless a teacher is married to a high-earning spouse, they really struggle financially once kids are thrown into the mix.

I'm a teacher and a parent. Where are you living that you are paying that much? That's ridiculous. I live in a 2 bedroom basement apartment in a good school area for $1500.

Huh?! Have you been living in an actual rock? Housing is EXPENSIVE! Ive owned my home for about 5 years so dont have recent rental experience but back then, even when interest rates were low you couldn't find a decent multi bedroom rental for less than $2000. Now Im sure its closer to $3000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make $58k as a teacher. My spouse, also a teacher, makes about the same. Our combined income is under $120k and that's before taxes/retirement/etc.

We have been denied a home loan because the bank doesn't think we make enough to be able to pay a mortgage even though we have never once missed a rent payment of $2290/month. And we both have excellent credit scores. We do both have student loan debt we carry ($22k for me and $29k for my spouse). We have no other debt.

I'd love to have kids, but it's just not feasible for us in this area. We've thought about moving but our entire support system is here. We both grew up in this area and all our family and friends live here.

I am approaching 30 and my spouse just turned 30. We don't live extravagant lives at all. We eat out once a week. We aren't coffee drinkers so there's no pesky daily Starbucks to cut out that B**mers like to advise us to eliminate to save money. We just paid off my car last year and my spouse still drives the car he was gifted after his college graduation 8 years ago. We take 1 vacation each year, usually to OCMD or VA Beach. His parents own a cabin on Lake Anna that we sometimes use once or twice a year if it's not being rented out.

From what I've seen, unless a teacher is married to a high-earning spouse, they really struggle financially once kids are thrown into the mix.

I'm a teacher and a parent. Where are you living that you are paying that much? That's ridiculous. I live in a 2 bedroom basement apartment in a good school area for $1500.

Huh?! Have you been living in an actual rock? Housing is EXPENSIVE! Ive owned my home for about 5 years so dont have recent rental experience but back then, even when interest rates were low you couldn't find a decent multi bedroom rental for less than $2000. Now Im sure its closer to $3000.

I found multiple apartments on FB Marketplace for less than $2k. They could live in an even cheaper group home to save money if it's just them. I found my current basement apartment a year ago on FB Marketplace. Most people would love renting to teachers. They have a guaranteed income and are reliable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They cant afford children and have the same lifestyle as pre children. Daycare is $2500 per month for one. That for at least 3 years. Diaper etc etc all adds up too.

With daycare that expensive + housing family would be spending close to 50k a year. For a family making 60k that's not a matter of lifestyle, it's a financial disaster.

There's a wide range of daycare costs. They are not all 2500/mo in the DMV.

Where is there an infant daycare for less than 2,500 a month in the DCUM area - besides the exurbs and areas you don’t want to walk in.

In-home daycares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They cant afford children and have the same lifestyle as pre children. Daycare is $2500 per month for one. That for at least 3 years. Diaper etc etc all adds up too.

With daycare that expensive + housing family would be spending close to 50k a year. For a family making 60k that's not a matter of lifestyle, it's a financial disaster.

There's a wide range of daycare costs. They are not all 2500/mo in the DMV.

+1. Those run about $300-400/week in NoVa.

Where is there an infant daycare for less than 2,500 a month in the DCUM area - besides the exurbs and areas you don’t want to walk in.

In-home daycares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They cant afford children and have the same lifestyle as pre children. Daycare is $2500 per month for one. That for at least 3 years. Diaper etc etc all adds up too.

With daycare that expensive + housing family would be spending close to 50k a year. For a family making 60k that's not a matter of lifestyle, it's a financial disaster.

There's a wide range of daycare costs. They are not all 2500/mo in the DMV.

True. The poster I quoted probably uses an expensive one, but daycare for infants is easily more than 1k a month. That's still too expensive for low income families.

10 years ago I couldn’t find daycare for as little as $1k. I’m close in DMV and worked in DC.

In 2019-2020 I was paying $250 per week at a lovely in-home daycare in my Silver Spring neighborhood, for an infant.