What would you have said?

[Anonymous]

I can't believe I'm considered one of the 'old fashioned' ones by some on this thread. I'm someone who thinks thank you cards should only be sent of the recipient hasn't communicated thanks in a different manner (verbally, by text, email, etc.). I immediately toss any thank you card I get in the recycle bin. Yet, I expect my kids to address adults with a title (Mr., Uncle, Ms. Mrs., Miss, Aunt, etc.). I expect kids to address me with a title. If an adult doesn't want to be addressed with a title, then the adult can indicate that. But, the default, is to always address an adult

I'm from the midwest and our custom is to to use Mr./Ms. and only use Aunt/Uncle for relatives. In this area, the tradition seems to be Miss/Mr. which is what we use. When my kids were in ES, I introduced myself to their friends as Miss Lara so they'd know how I expected to be addressed.

[Anonymous]

Op. Just a clarification:
The SIL is the wife of my husband’s brother. We are in our late 30s and the aunt in question is 35, so we are all relatively young. Btw, I am not from this country - I am Dutch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sister in law reprimanded by child aged 8 for not using “aunt” before the name of her aunt, calling her Susie vs. aunt Susi. Said it was disrespectful. I was honestly stunned a bit and didn’t even think of anything to say, I am not us born and never really thought my kids that they have to say aunt or uncle. My mother in law stepped in and said a couple things to diffuse the conversation but my sister in law kept at it, then got up and said she had to run an errand. Btw the aunt in question wasn’t in the room. The more I think of this the more I feel like it was rude and out of place for her to say this about my child, shouldn’t she be minding her own business and keep her unsolicited advice to herself? What do you think?? Thanks!!

Pull her aside. "Susan, we need to talk about what you said to Larla. I get that you think "Aunt X" should be used. But we are ok with it. And I'm also not comfortable with you reprimanding my kid for things (if that is the case or acc. to whatever boundaries.) I get that you may not agree. But I"m not asking to agree. Just to respect my wishes."

Go from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They should be calling her aunt.

According to you. We did not use "aunt so and so" growing up. And you need not agree but you need to respect what the parents are ok with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^

I didn't answer your question. I would have said "larla, auntie Susie is right. Please address her the way she wants to be called"

Op here. Sorry I failed to mention that aunt Susie really doesn’t care about being called aunt, and my child always calls her by her name when we are just us without the rest of the extended family.

Ah new details!

+1 you and your child were wrong.

LOL. How so?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sister in law reprimanded by child aged 8 for not using “aunt” before the name of her aunt, calling her Susie vs. aunt Susi. Said it was disrespectful. I was honestly stunned a bit and didn’t even think of anything to say, I am not us born and never really thought my kids that they have to say aunt or uncle. My mother in law stepped in and said a couple things to diffuse the conversation but my sister in law kept at it, then got up and said she had to run an errand. Btw the aunt in question wasn’t in the room. The more I think of this the more I feel like it was rude and out of place for her to say this about my child, shouldn’t she be minding her own business and keep her unsolicited advice to herself? What do you think?? Thanks!!

I do not allow children to call me by my first name. It's either Aunt Sally, Miss Dolly, or Mrs. Smith
Teach your child some manners!

Do not allow?

You sound fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Posters who are supporting SIL did not pick up on the fact that SIL wouldn't shut up about it. That makes her in the wrong.

Also, and this seems so obvious but the Southern Belles can't accept it apparently, but if Susie is fine with Susie and not Aunt Susie, then the kid is fine!!!

No it is not fine. An 8 year old should not call an adult by their first name. But it is also wrong to keep bringing it up. Say your peace and movie on.

[Anonymous]

My kids pick up on my calling our sisters by their first names and if they accidentally skip the 'auntie', no one cares. Your DH knows her best; she's nuts.