What would you have said?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^

I didn't answer your question. I would have said "larla, auntie Susie is right. Please address her the way she wants to be called"

Op here. Sorry I failed to mention that aunt Susie really doesn’t care about being called aunt, and my child always calls her by her name when we are just us without the rest of the extended family.

Ah new details!

+1 you and your child were wrong.

[Anonymous]

1. People are allowed to be called what they like. If Susie is fine being called Susie instead of Aunt Susie, your child shouldn’t have been reprimanded.

2. SIL has no right to reprimand your child in front of you and on a matter that doesn’t affect her. She’s a pot-stirrer. You and your child would do well to avoid her.

[Anonymous]

I have 32 nieces and nephews and only a few call me Aunt. I don't particularly care to be called Aunt Sara, but won't correct them for using that instead of just Sara.

I wasn't really raised with using Aunt or Uncle, and I was never told to until an aunt I hadn't previously met (she and my mom were raised by different parents and always lived many states apart) corrected me and told me to call her Aunt Lindy. I thought it was weird and it made me uncomfortable since it wasn't something I'd been taught to do. I never called her anything again (rarely saw her anyway so it was a nonissue). As I've gotten older and seen her social media posts, it's clear she's on the spectrum which helps put that odd childhood interaction into perspective.

In any case it wasn't your SIL's place to correct your child over something so trivial and meaningless. If she wants to stop them from running with scissors through a crowded room, that's different, but the Aunt thing is ridiculous and she was 100% wrong. Sadly that's the thing your kid is going to remember about her and will likely find her repellent and not want to interact with her in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sister in law reprimanded by child aged 8 for not using “aunt” before the name of her aunt, calling her Susie vs. aunt Susi. Said it was disrespectful. I was honestly stunned a bit and didn’t even think of anything to say, I am not us born and never really thought my kids that they have to say aunt or uncle. My mother in law stepped in and said a couple things to diffuse the conversation but my sister in law kept at it, then got up and said she had to run an errand. Btw the aunt in question wasn’t in the room. The more I think of this the more I feel like it was rude and out of place for her to say this about my child, shouldn’t she be minding her own business and keep her unsolicited advice to herself? What do you think?? Thanks!!

I do not allow children to call me by my first name. It's either Aunt Sally, Miss Dolly, or Mrs. Smith
Teach your child some manners!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sister in law reprimanded by child aged 8 for not using “aunt” before the name of her aunt, calling her Susie vs. aunt Susi. Said it was disrespectful. I was honestly stunned a bit and didn’t even think of anything to say, I am not us born and never really thought my kids that they have to say aunt or uncle. My mother in law stepped in and said a couple things to diffuse the conversation but my sister in law kept at it, then got up and said she had to run an errand. Btw the aunt in question wasn’t in the room. The more I think of this the more I feel like it was rude and out of place for her to say this about my child, shouldn’t she be minding her own business and keep her unsolicited advice to herself? What do you think?? Thanks!!

Children are not the equal of adults and should not call adults by their first name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^

I didn't answer your question. I would have said "larla, auntie Susie is right. Please address her the way she wants to be called"

Op here. Sorry I failed to mention that aunt Susie really doesn’t care about being called aunt, and my child always calls her by her name when we are just us without the rest of the extended family.

Ah new details!

+1 you and your child were wrong.

+2. You aren’t from this country yet you push back against our customs. That isn’t doing your child a favor.

[Anonymous]

Even if Sally is fine with them just saying Sally instead of Aunt Sally, it’s still respectful to use aunt when talking about Sally to someone else. Just using Sally should be reserved for 1:1 times. Most kids don’t understand that distinction though so it’s better to teach the child manners and have them use aunt all the time as a sign of respect for elders.

And your SIL was just trying to teach your child manners you should be appreciative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're okay with your 8 year old addressing an adult two generations older than them by their first name? It's rude (IMO), and SIL likely addressed it since you were not.

EXACTLY! I was just about to make the same point. And I truly doubt SIL "kept at it". You say something like that once. You don't "stay at it".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sister in law reprimanded by child aged 8 for not using “aunt” before the name of her aunt, calling her Susie vs. aunt Susi. Said it was disrespectful. I was honestly stunned a bit and didn’t even think of anything to say, I am not us born and never really thought my kids that they have to say aunt or uncle. My mother in law stepped in and said a couple things to diffuse the conversation but my sister in law kept at it, then got up and said she had to run an errand. Btw the aunt in question wasn’t in the room. The more I think of this the more I feel like it was rude and out of place for her to say this about my child, shouldn’t she be minding her own business and keep her unsolicited advice to herself? What do you think?? Thanks!!

SIL probably kept at it because MIL got in on it too. Between you and MIL sounds like SIL was outnumbered.

SIL didn’t do anything wrong and everyone jumped on her. I’d have left too.

[Anonymous]

The kid was rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're okay with your 8 year old addressing an adult two generations older than them by their first name? It's rude (IMO), and SIL likely addressed it since you were not.

What??????????
What?
This wins an award for the hottest take I’ve ever read here.
It’s rude for a child to call an adult by their name? What are you - 140 years old? Never read anything so ridiculous in my entire life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even if Sally is fine with them just saying Sally instead of Aunt Sally, it’s still respectful to use aunt when talking about Sally to someone else. Just using Sally should be reserved for 1:1 times. Most kids don’t understand that distinction though so it’s better to teach the child manners and have them use aunt all the time as a sign of respect for elders.

And your SIL was just trying to teach your child manners you should be appreciative.

This whole thread is nuts. Since when is ‘aunt’ respectful or otherwise? It’s just something you call someone if they are your aunt or maybe a close friend of your parents. It’s not something you have to call someone or you’re rude?
This type of crp is why ppl grow up and never want to see their family members any more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sister in law reprimanded by child aged 8 for not using “aunt” before the name of her aunt, calling her Susie vs. aunt Susi. Said it was disrespectful. I was honestly stunned a bit and didn’t even think of anything to say, I am not us born and never really thought my kids that they have to say aunt or uncle. My mother in law stepped in and said a couple things to diffuse the conversation but my sister in law kept at it, then got up and said she had to run an errand. Btw the aunt in question wasn’t in the room. The more I think of this the more I feel like it was rude and out of place for her to say this about my child, shouldn’t she be minding her own business and keep her unsolicited advice to herself? What do you think?? Thanks!!

Op - ignore the weirdos on this thread.
I think you are right and your sil is mental and needs to get bigger problems bc the ones she is focused on are not real or important and also none of her business.
Dcum is filled with boomer facsimiles of daughters of the American revolution who clutch their pearls at a lot of stupid, performative nothing and yet if you ever have a feeling; eg not being thrilled about having your mother in law over constantly (half these people are mother in laws), you are a bad person. See most of this advice through that lens

[Anonymous]

It is very common in a family to use the relationship to name adults - mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle.

I wouldn’t dream of referring to those adults in my family just by first names!

Just a first name for most adults is new. It used to be that friends parents and teachers were were called Ms Mrs Mr and physicians were Dr etc. I find this trend of everyone is just Bob and Sue when coming from kids to be jarring. That was definitely disrespectful when we were growing up and I still see it that way. There is a ten year old in my daughter’s dance class who calls her mother Melissa instead of mom and it is just strange to me.

[Anonymous]

Is its OK with Sally, it's fine. SIL is a B.