What would you have said?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| It all depends on what Aunt Susie wants to be called. SIL has overreacted. |
Anonymous
|
OP, what does your kid call your SIL, who is her aunt?
At any rate, even though Aunt S is fine with being called just S, it is good that your kid learned (and now you have, too, by reading this thread) that many, many adults don’t like kids calling them by their first names. I’ve taught my kids to stay more formal and then can use first names if invited to do so. SIL was telling you and your kid important information, even if it was delivered poorly and didn’t quite fit the Aunt S situation. |
Anonymous
*start more formal… |
Anonymous
|
In the south, you use Miss/Mr. First Name.
In Catholic school, it’s Mr./Dr./Miss/Mrs. Last Name. Your child should use what the current subculture or age range calls for. |
Anonymous
|
What does your kid call SIL? Clearly she wants to be called Aunt SIL and was using Aunt Susie as an example.
Was your kid getting upset over SILs remarks or was your kid just ignoring her? |
Anonymous
|
Op - we are in nyc and all of these rules are completely foreign and bizarre to me. And doubtless mostly expected by older generations. My kids call adults by their first names including their teachers. No one cares. Anyone who has a problem with that needs way way way bigger issues to worry about.
You do you - sil needs to get a life |
Anonymous
| Is Susis your SILs and husband’s aunt? If they call her Aunt Susie and always have, it is weird your kid doesn’t. Your kid should follow the customs in the family. You don’t get to plead ignorance and then get mad when it’s pointed out, and finally gleeful when your husband insults his sister, which brought you a lot of joy. You don’t like her, it’s obvious. You sound awfully mannerless yourself. |
Anonymous
Her mother seemed familiar with her attempts to ruin holidays. Sad. I'd let it go and move on, OP. |
Anonymous
| I'm in my 50's, and from the South, and even so, there is still context to this. I called my grandparent's sisters "Aunt First Name." I called my parents siblings, who were between 10 and 20 years older than me, by their first name. If the aunt is young, or prefers to be called by her first name, there is nothing wrong with that. |
Anonymous
US born and raised and this is not my family’s custom. Don’t paint with such a broad brush. |
Anonymous
Calling someone or referring to them as "aunt" is
|
Anonymous
|
I was brought up that it is rude to address an adult by their first name like that, without "Aunt" or "Uncle" or whatever in front of it.
Kind of an old-fashioned attitude now, though. |
Anonymous
All of this. It’s up to you to teach your kids these things. I find it disrespectful when my kids call some people on DH’s side Susie instead of Aunt Susie. I keep my mouth shut since it doesn’t bother them. My sister made it clear from day one she was Aunt Jane so they have always called her Aunt Jane. They wouldn’t think of calling her Jane. |
Anonymous
|
Oh, this one bugs me. My much younger brother recently got married. My mother now expects my children to call my SIL “Aunt Jane” instead of Jane. My children are teens and have known Jane for years as Jane and Jane is not even 10 years older than my oldest. Jane is fine still being Jane and my kids find it super annoying (as do I) that my mother will not let this go.
Point being, if an adult is fine being called Jane, this is no one else’s business and your SIL should mind her own. |
Anonymous
But it is a custom in OP's husband's family, which is the only family that matters here. Where are all these OPs from where nobody has manners? Such as we don't have any honorific for older family members, we never say thank you, shoes in the house, etc? Where is this awful place people hail from? |