Should I tell the bride she’s not married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an fyi, in most US states, if you have a public ceremony and are married by an officiant, you’re considered legally married, even if a marriage license was never filed. I know this from personally experience (and have the divorce papers to prove it).

Would you please provide the legal citations to support this assertion? It sounds absurd to me.

In fact, in many US jurisdictions an officiant who performs a marriage ceremony without a marriage license present is committing a misdemeanor crime, so I think you are full of it.

But I’m willing to give you the opportunity to provide evidence to support your assertion that any couple who engages in a ceremony and has an officiant declare them married is in fact legally married.

Who are you to ask me to provide you with anything? I wish I were making this up. It’s a fact. It happened to me. I was dumb and obnoxious like you and didn’t believe it was possible for me to be married because no license was filed with the state. I’d even asked my bff who thinks she’s a hot shot lawyer because she went to Cornell and works in BigLaw. She assured me, very confidently, that I wasn’t married. But just after I got engaged again, I double checked with a real family lawyer in the state. And then got a second opinion. Thank god I did, because otherwise I would have been guilty of polygamy.

Maybe you don’t know everything?

Maybe you’re more than a little defensive and should calm down? NP.

You know what, I am defensive. I had to spend close to $30,000 and over a year to get divorced to someone I didn’t think I was married to because of idiots dispensing legal advice on topics they know nothing about. I’m lucky I didn’t commit polygamy. I was just trying to educate people on the reality and then some overconfident dumbass demands I provide citations, instead of maybe acknowledging he or she doesn’t know everything. How would you feel about it, if it were you? Yes, I’m still sore about it.

I have practiced family law in three different states and I find your assertion absurd as well.

And if you’re holding yourself out as a legal expert based on your experience, you should know that in the world of the law the party making an assertion provides the evidence to support it.

YOU have asserted yourself as an authority and FYI’d the board that any couple who ‘marries’ in a ceremony with an officiant is legally married regardless of the existence of a marriage license registered with the relevant authorities in whichever jurisdiction.

Provide the legal citations please. Tell us which jurisdiction this happened to you in, at least. You must have access to the dissolution information and the relevant statutes which governed your unfortunate situation?

I suspect you’ll just come back with more barking.

Okay, hotshot. It was in Florida. We did have a license for the ceremony, but it was never filed. I called the county clerk first to check if it was filed and she said there was no record of a marriage. I said, “Phew, we’re not married.” And the simple county clerk, not a fancy family lawyer with a license in three states, said, “Sweetie, that doesn’t mean you’re not married. Dear, you need to call a lawyer.”

I did. I called three. They all said I was married. I didn’t ask them for freaking citations. I just wanted to get divorced ASAP and marry my fiancé. It took a year and $30,000.

Again, I say maybe you don’t know as much as you think you know. I suspect you’ll come back barking, too, because lawyers are such freaking know it alls and can never admit they are wrong about anything.

Why don’t you do some research befote you spout off nonsense.

Hypothetical: if there's no record of the marriage, and the couple never represents themselves as married (because they think they aren't) ... did they really need a divorce? Seems simpler to decide it never happened.

[Anonymous]

When I got married Dh and I had an extra 5k tax bill that we wouldn’t have had if we were single. It was a lot of money to me and it made my wish we had just had a religious wedding and not gotten a license from the county. Luckily they’ve done away with most of those marriage penalty taxes. Still wish I was just religiously married though. I bet I could get food stamps if I was a stay at home girlfriend with 3 kids.

Op this is creepy that you’d even care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every once in a while there will be a thread like this and I look at the replies and can tell instantly who is from LipstickAlley and who isnt.

This used to be a forum for moms in middle class families. All the responders who are faking your Washington life, i see you 😉😉

LOL whenever I see a DCUM post on LSA, I die a little inside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an fyi, in most US states, if you have a public ceremony and are married by an officiant, you’re considered legally married, even if a marriage license was never filed. I know this from personally experience (and have the divorce papers to prove it).

Would you please provide the legal citations to support this assertion? It sounds absurd to me.

In fact, in many US jurisdictions an officiant who performs a marriage ceremony without a marriage license present is committing a misdemeanor crime, so I think you are full of it.

But I’m willing to give you the opportunity to provide evidence to support your assertion that any couple who engages in a ceremony and has an officiant declare them married is in fact legally married.

Who are you to ask me to provide you with anything? I wish I were making this up. It’s a fact. It happened to me. I was dumb and obnoxious like you and didn’t believe it was possible for me to be married because no license was filed with the state. I’d even asked my bff who thinks she’s a hot shot lawyer because she went to Cornell and works in BigLaw. She assured me, very confidently, that I wasn’t married. But just after I got engaged again, I double checked with a real family lawyer in the state. And then got a second opinion. Thank god I did, because otherwise I would have been guilty of polygamy.

Maybe you don’t know everything?

Maybe you’re more than a little defensive and should calm down? NP.

You know what, I am defensive. I had to spend close to $30,000 and over a year to get divorced to someone I didn’t think I was married to because of idiots dispensing legal advice on topics they know nothing about. I’m lucky I didn’t commit polygamy. I was just trying to educate people on the reality and then some overconfident dumbass demands I provide citations, instead of maybe acknowledging he or she doesn’t know everything. How would you feel about it, if it were you? Yes, I’m still sore about it.

I have practiced family law in three different states and I find your assertion absurd as well.

And if you’re holding yourself out as a legal expert based on your experience, you should know that in the world of the law the party making an assertion provides the evidence to support it.

YOU have asserted yourself as an authority and FYI’d the board that any couple who ‘marries’ in a ceremony with an officiant is legally married regardless of the existence of a marriage license registered with the relevant authorities in whichever jurisdiction.

Provide the legal citations please. Tell us which jurisdiction this happened to you in, at least. You must have access to the dissolution information and the relevant statutes which governed your unfortunate situation?

I suspect you’ll just come back with more barking.

Okay, hotshot. It was in Florida. We did have a license for the ceremony, but it was never filed. I called the county clerk first to check if it was filed and she said there was no record of a marriage. I said, “Phew, we’re not married.” And the simple county clerk, not a fancy family lawyer with a license in three states, said, “Sweetie, that doesn’t mean you’re not married. Dear, you need to call a lawyer.”

I did. I called three. They all said I was married. I didn’t ask them for freaking citations. I just wanted to get divorced ASAP and marry my fiancé. It took a year and $30,000.

Again, I say maybe you don’t know as much as you think you know. I suspect you’ll come back barking, too, because lawyers are such freaking know it alls and can never admit they are wrong about anything.

Why don’t you do some research befote you spout off nonsense.

Hypothetical: if there's no record of the marriage, and the couple never represents themselves as married (because they think they aren't) ... did they really need a divorce? Seems simpler to decide it never happened.

I wish!!! What part of my terrible experience are you not getting? Yes, you still need a divorce! I wasn’t going to rely on my ex to not come out of the woodwork and accuse me of polygamy or try to sue me down the road. We were married even though it wasn’t recorded. I couldn’t just pretend it never happened. It wasn’t a hypothetical. It was my real life nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an fyi, in most US states, if you have a public ceremony and are married by an officiant, you’re considered legally married, even if a marriage license was never filed. I know this from personally experience (and have the divorce papers to prove it).

Would you please provide the legal citations to support this assertion? It sounds absurd to me.

In fact, in many US jurisdictions an officiant who performs a marriage ceremony without a marriage license present is committing a misdemeanor crime, so I think you are full of it.

But I’m willing to give you the opportunity to provide evidence to support your assertion that any couple who engages in a ceremony and has an officiant declare them married is in fact legally married.

Who are you to ask me to provide you with anything? I wish I were making this up. It’s a fact. It happened to me. I was dumb and obnoxious like you and didn’t believe it was possible for me to be married because no license was filed with the state. I’d even asked my bff who thinks she’s a hot shot lawyer because she went to Cornell and works in BigLaw. She assured me, very confidently, that I wasn’t married. But just after I got engaged again, I double checked with a real family lawyer in the state. And then got a second opinion. Thank god I did, because otherwise I would have been guilty of polygamy.

Maybe you don’t know everything?

Maybe you’re more than a little defensive and should calm down? NP.

You know what, I am defensive. I had to spend close to $30,000 and over a year to get divorced to someone I didn’t think I was married to because of idiots dispensing legal advice on topics they know nothing about. I’m lucky I didn’t commit polygamy. I was just trying to educate people on the reality and then some overconfident dumbass demands I provide citations, instead of maybe acknowledging he or she doesn’t know everything. How would you feel about it, if it were you? Yes, I’m still sore about it.

Ok- but here’s the thing- we don’t really care, PP. You’re getting yourself upset for no good reason.
I don’t know how I would feel in your situation but I wouldn’t come here and tell off strangers. I don’t get stressed out or worked up on DCUM because I remember I’m on an anonymous Internet forum and who knows the people who are replying. It’s not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an fyi, in most US states, if you have a public ceremony and are married by an officiant, you’re considered legally married, even if a marriage license was never filed. I know this from personally experience (and have the divorce papers to prove it).

Would you please provide the legal citations to support this assertion? It sounds absurd to me.

In fact, in many US jurisdictions an officiant who performs a marriage ceremony without a marriage license present is committing a misdemeanor crime, so I think you are full of it.

But I’m willing to give you the opportunity to provide evidence to support your assertion that any couple who engages in a ceremony and has an officiant declare them married is in fact legally married.

Who are you to ask me to provide you with anything? I wish I were making this up. It’s a fact. It happened to me. I was dumb and obnoxious like you and didn’t believe it was possible for me to be married because no license was filed with the state. I’d even asked my bff who thinks she’s a hot shot lawyer because she went to Cornell and works in BigLaw. She assured me, very confidently, that I wasn’t married. But just after I got engaged again, I double checked with a real family lawyer in the state. And then got a second opinion. Thank god I did, because otherwise I would have been guilty of polygamy.

Maybe you don’t know everything?

Maybe you’re more than a little defensive and should calm down? NP.

You know what, I am defensive. I had to spend close to $30,000 and over a year to get divorced to someone I didn’t think I was married to because of idiots dispensing legal advice on topics they know nothing about. I’m lucky I didn’t commit polygamy. I was just trying to educate people on the reality and then some overconfident dumbass demands I provide citations, instead of maybe acknowledging he or she doesn’t know everything. How would you feel about it, if it were you? Yes, I’m still sore about it.

Ok- but here’s the thing- we don’t really care, PP. You’re getting yourself upset for no good reason.
I don’t know how I would feel in your situation but I wouldn’t come here and tell off strangers. I don’t get stressed out or worked up on DCUM because I remember I’m on an anonymous Internet forum and who knows the people who are replying. It’s not worth it.

Who says you have to care? The comment about being legally married without a filed license is completely on point to the OP’s comment about her friend not being legally married. The OP said she checked records and there was no marriage on file. The comment that it still might be legal makes sense, but your’s does not. Why comment if all you have to say is you don’t care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an fyi, in most US states, if you have a public ceremony and are married by an officiant, you’re considered legally married, even if a marriage license was never filed. I know this from personally experience (and have the divorce papers to prove it).

Would you please provide the legal citations to support this assertion? It sounds absurd to me.

In fact, in many US jurisdictions an officiant who performs a marriage ceremony without a marriage license present is committing a misdemeanor crime, so I think you are full of it.

But I’m willing to give you the opportunity to provide evidence to support your assertion that any couple who engages in a ceremony and has an officiant declare them married is in fact legally married.

Who are you to ask me to provide you with anything? I wish I were making this up. It’s a fact. It happened to me. I was dumb and obnoxious like you and didn’t believe it was possible for me to be married because no license was filed with the state. I’d even asked my bff who thinks she’s a hot shot lawyer because she went to Cornell and works in BigLaw. She assured me, very confidently, that I wasn’t married. But just after I got engaged again, I double checked with a real family lawyer in the state. And then got a second opinion. Thank god I did, because otherwise I would have been guilty of polygamy.

Maybe you don’t know everything?

Maybe you’re more than a little defensive and should calm down? NP.

You know what, I am defensive. I had to spend close to $30,000 and over a year to get divorced to someone I didn’t think I was married to because of idiots dispensing legal advice on topics they know nothing about. I’m lucky I didn’t commit polygamy. I was just trying to educate people on the reality and then some overconfident dumbass demands I provide citations, instead of maybe acknowledging he or she doesn’t know everything. How would you feel about it, if it were you? Yes, I’m still sore about it.

Ok- but here’s the thing- we don’t really care, PP. You’re getting yourself upset for no good reason.
I don’t know how I would feel in your situation but I wouldn’t come here and tell off strangers. I don’t get stressed out or worked up on DCUM because I remember I’m on an anonymous Internet forum and who knows the people who are replying. It’s not worth it.

Who says you have to care? The comment about being legally married without a filed license is completely on point to the OP’s comment about her friend not being legally married. The OP said she checked records and there was no marriage on file. The comment that it still might be legal makes sense, but your’s does not. Why comment if all you have to say is you don’t care?

Because I felt like it. No one says I have to care.

[Anonymous]

In France, a church wedding doesn't make you legally married - you have to have another civil service at the town hall as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In France, a church wedding doesn't make you legally married - you have to have another civil service at the town hall as well.

You can actually just have a meeting at the town hall, where you sign the paperwork, say some basic vows, and it’s done. Just like you can do here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every once in a while there will be a thread like this and I look at the replies and can tell instantly who is from LipstickAlley and who isnt.

This used to be a forum for moms in middle class families. All the responders who are faking your Washington life, i see you 😉😉

LOL whenever I see a DCUM post on LSA, I die a little inside.

What is Lipstick Alley? Is that like BabyCenter?

[Anonymous]

It was probably a scam wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In France, a church wedding doesn't make you legally married - you have to have another civil service at the town hall as well.

You can actually just have a meeting at the town hall, where you sign the paperwork, say some basic vows, and it’s done. Just like you can do here.

Yep, but you can't just do the church ceremony like you can here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop dodging the question OP.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS?

+1

I wonder this as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an fyi, in most US states, if you have a public ceremony and are married by an officiant, you’re considered legally married, even if a marriage license was never filed. I know this from personally experience (and have the divorce papers to prove it).

Would you please provide the legal citations to support this assertion? It sounds absurd to me.

In fact, in many US jurisdictions an officiant who performs a marriage ceremony without a marriage license present is committing a misdemeanor crime, so I think you are full of it.

But I’m willing to give you the opportunity to provide evidence to support your assertion that any couple who engages in a ceremony and has an officiant declare them married is in fact legally married.

Who are you to ask me to provide you with anything? I wish I were making this up. It’s a fact. It happened to me. I was dumb and obnoxious like you and didn’t believe it was possible for me to be married because no license was filed with the state. I’d even asked my bff who thinks she’s a hot shot lawyer because she went to Cornell and works in BigLaw. She assured me, very confidently, that I wasn’t married. But just after I got engaged again, I double checked with a real family lawyer in the state. And then got a second opinion. Thank god I did, because otherwise I would have been guilty of polygamy.

Maybe you don’t know everything?

Maybe you’re more than a little defensive and should calm down? NP.

You know what, I am defensive. I had to spend close to $30,000 and over a year to get divorced to someone I didn’t think I was married to because of idiots dispensing legal advice on topics they know nothing about. I’m lucky I didn’t commit polygamy. I was just trying to educate people on the reality and then some overconfident dumbass demands I provide citations, instead of maybe acknowledging he or she doesn’t know everything. How would you feel about it, if it were you? Yes, I’m still sore about it.

Why do you keep changing your story between "really wasn't married" and "really wasn married"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop dodging the question OP.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS?

+1

I wonder this as well.

She said she googled it? Like she looked up their name and personal details and it said she was unmarried? I would imagine public records from Google searches are often incorrect or provide outdated info