Marrying for lifestyle not love as smart choice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m married for love but I also never dated any scrubs after my early twenties, so I ended up with love and lifestyle.

I mean let’s be frank, you filtered for lifestyle before even going on dates. Falling in love in late 20s generally takes investment time and you mostly only interact with other professionals anyways. How did you meet your DH?

I met him in law school. We competed for a position on law review.

Exactly my point. At that point in your life the chance there were almost zero chance you would fall in love with a high school teacher or artist unless you actively campaigned for that kind of person. A MRS and a JD, nicely done.

Yuck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it so hard to have both? These things are not mutually exclusive, people.

Right. I married for love and we both have money and this a.pretty nice lifestyle.
Bonus is even though he's a great guy I don't have to put up with BS out of fear of losing a lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Being in love with someone and being able to foresee a financially stable future were not things I would have settled on. Sorry but I’ve always thought people are too afraid of being single.

[Anonymous]

Turns out, I’m really good at making money so I married for compatibility. He works too, but does more than his share of the home/family work, allowing me to make money. Then we spend our money together to create our lifestyle.

We are happy.

[Anonymous]

We were hard charging but broke MBAs when we met just after graduation. We quickly fell in love and I guess we assumed that a nice lifestyle would follow because we both were pretty ambitious but also pretty grounded. It’s worked out fine. Marrying just for lifestyle sounds like a ticket to hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were hard charging but broke MBAs when we met just after graduation. We quickly fell in love and I guess we assumed that a nice lifestyle would follow because we both were pretty ambitious but also pretty grounded. It’s worked out fine. Marrying just for lifestyle sounds like a ticket to hell.

People pursuing MBA don’t marry for lifestyle because their entire motivation is money and lifestyle, I mean it’s BUSINESS school.

[Anonymous]

The only women who are truly happy got both. Those lucky b's are few and far between.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do know one person who did this and it did not go well. She married for wealth and that alone really. She had the kids, then got bored and blew it all up by cheating on him in the most insane and obvious way. From the outside it doesn't make sense because this guy was loaded, good looking and generally pretty decent! But he let her call all the shots, and she lost respect for him I think.

But now she's bummed because she's "poor" and only living on $10k a month. Who knows if she regrets it or not...

She is not poor! 10k a month for free? That is rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As my mom used to say when she would see a young attractive woman with an old wealthy man:but the night comes.

Gross!

You don’t have to sleep with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never met a woman who claimed to marry for lifestyle, I would be shocked to hear it!

I have a friend who did. Her DH travels for work and cheats on her left, right and center and she looks the other way because she likes the lifestyle. No kids yet.

Does the cheating upset your friend at all? She is open with you about the cheating?

Not that PP but this legitimately just does not bother some women. And trust me it’s not always who you’d think. For every woman who considers this an earth-shattering betrayal and makes being cheated on her entire identity there are others who can’t believe they're getting so worked up over something so trivial and also - for a high earning, frequently traveling husband - realistically inevitable.

+1. I wouldn’t care. I have not been in that kind of marriage but know that cheating is not that big of a deal/ I am pragmatic and have had much more trauma in life than someone cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married for love. DH became a workaholic who was well off financially. The workaholism killed the love. Everyone thought I should be happy because he paid for everything, but I was lonely. I think the best relationships are a mix of love and practicality.

And as a woman of principle, I'm sure you refused to spend a penny of the money he earned .

What's that you spent it hand over fist?

You're the problem, don't you see that you hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married for love but he also had a lot of potential. Happily, he more than realized his potential without screwing up our relationship. So, love and lifestyle can exist together. We’ve been married for a very long time and the physical love continues to be wonderful as it was last night.

“Potential” — what does that even mean

I would think it means drive, focus, goal oriented, good executive functioning, brain is greased for continued learning, humility, good social skills... I dunno, the kind of person you would want on your sports team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is comes down to is women are lazy, and they love spending money they didn't earn.

And the men who marry these types of women are stupid. So match made in heaven, and the rest of us can find balance and love.

[Anonymous]

Imo most important trait is good character and mild temper. You can live with limited love and money but you can't live with a difficult and angry man.

[Anonymous]

Some women are more materialistic than others so their priorities are different. Equality, respect, love, fidelity, friendship etc have different value for different people.