Introduced me as his friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the two of you discussed how you want to label yourselves? If not, I can understand why he didn’t want to be presumptuous and call you his GF. Use your words and talk to him.

We have discussed it before and didn’t see eye to eye. He thinks boyfriend/girlfriend is some HUGE title. He see it the way I see being engaged. The day to day of our relationship is very good. We act like a couple and as far as I can tell (and from his words) he isn’t seeing anyone else. I guess I just have to deal with this “friend” thing. But for me it’s annoying. Titles are a form of respect in my eyes. An even though our relationship emotionally progresses there is a part of me that has a hard time taking him seriously as a potential partner because he keeps calling me his friend.

You should have mentioned this in your first post, OP. It's so irritating when people do this - it changes the entire tenor of the issue. This is a big problem. He doesn't want to commit, even with words.

Apologies for not making the original post longer. The odd thing is that he is very committed in deeds. He initiates spending a ton of time together, plans dates, is always there for me when I need him, invites me into his social life, brings me to work events, considers me in the future, etc. He is just adamant about not calling me his girlfriend. That leads me to be confused on whether I should just continue and be happy because we get along very well, or if this word hang up is indicative of a larger commitment problem.

And he has told you that "girlfriend" implies more commitment than he is willing to give you.

None of the above implies that you're anything more than an FWB he likes. Lots of men take women to work events amd donner with friends without committing. Have the two of you talked about monogamy?

Right now, you're pursuing him, like begging him to call you hos girlfriend. Change that dynamic. Start dating others so that you're not burning time with him. Be less available to him. If he's interested in getting serious with you, he'll make that known.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the two of you discussed how you want to label yourselves? If not, I can understand why he didn’t want to be presumptuous and call you his GF. Use your words and talk to him.

We have discussed it before and didn’t see eye to eye. He thinks boyfriend/girlfriend is some HUGE title. He see it the way I see being engaged. The day to day of our relationship is very good. We act like a couple and as far as I can tell (and from his words) he isn’t seeing anyone else. I guess I just have to deal with this “friend” thing. But for me it’s annoying. Titles are a form of respect in my eyes. An even though our relationship emotionally progresses there is a part of me that has a hard time taking him seriously as a potential partner because he keeps calling me his friend.

You should have mentioned this in your first post, OP. It's so irritating when people do this - it changes the entire tenor of the issue. This is a big problem. He doesn't want to commit, even with words.

Apologies for not making the original post longer. The odd thing is that he is very committed in deeds. He initiates spending a ton of time together, plans dates, is always there for me when I need him, invites me into his social life, brings me to work events, considers me in the future, etc. He is just adamant about not calling me his girlfriend. That leads me to be confused on whether I should just continue and be happy because we get along very well, or if this word hang up is indicative of a larger commitment problem.

And he has told you that "girlfriend" implies more commitment than he is willing to give you.

None of the above implies that you're anything more than an FWB he likes. Lots of men take women to work events amd donner with friends without committing. Have the two of you talked about monogamy?

Right now, you're pursuing him, like begging him to call you hos girlfriend. Change that dynamic. Start dating others so that you're not burning time with him. Be less available to him. If he's interested in getting serious with you, he'll make that known.

*his

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He should have called you his girlfriend.
Words matter. Let him know that it was awkward for you to be introduced as his “friend” when you’ve been dating exclusively for months.

But she is not his gf. Look at her first post she doesn't call him her bf. Just a "guy" she is seeing.

She just wanted him to pretend they were something more in public. She doesn't mind being a booty call, she just doesn't want it to be exposed publicly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been dating a guy for 6 months. We’ve been exclusive for 4 months. We spend a lot of time together and get along great. He recently invited me to a party with some of his old friends. There were people there I’ve never met and he introduced me as his friend. This really bugged me. Am I being ridiculous about this? It was clear we weee more than platonic as he showed affection throughout the night. We are in our 40s. Does this type of thing just not matter anymore?

He’s definitely gay.

[Anonymous]

Does his name start with A?

I know someone with an A who was in love with a girl but refused to call her his girlfriend. He had major issues with commitment although it was clear he wasn't seeing anyone else and was doing everything a boyfriend does (and beyond). It was super weird. Friend tolerated it because of "I guess this is what men post divorce do"

[Anonymous]

My BF will introduce me as his “very good friend” and say it in a way that makes it very clear I’m more than just a friend. I’m too old to be a girl friend and being referred to as a partner is too business like for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the two of you discussed how you want to label yourselves? If not, I can understand why he didn’t want to be presumptuous and call you his GF. Use your words and talk to him.

We have discussed it before and didn’t see eye to eye. He thinks boyfriend/girlfriend is some HUGE title. He see it the way I see being engaged. The day to day of our relationship is very good. We act like a couple and as far as I can tell (and from his words) he isn’t seeing anyone else. I guess I just have to deal with this “friend” thing. But for me it’s annoying. Titles are a form of respect in my eyes. An even though our relationship emotionally progresses there is a part of me that has a hard time taking him seriously as a potential partner because he keeps calling me his friend.

You should have mentioned this in your first post, OP. It's so irritating when people do this - it changes the entire tenor of the issue. This is a big problem. He doesn't want to commit, even with words.

Apologies for not making the original post longer. The odd thing is that he is very committed in deeds. He initiates spending a ton of time together, plans dates, is always there for me when I need him, invites me into his social life, brings me to work events, considers me in the future, etc. He is just adamant about not calling me his girlfriend. That leads me to be confused on whether I should just continue and be happy because we get along very well, or if this word hang up is indicative of a larger commitment problem.

NP - he’s pulling this crap in his 40s? Hell no. If he were in his early 20s, I might give him a pass for immaturity. That’s a total deal-breaker for a man in his 40s to behave this way.

I don’t follow what’s crap here. Sounds like his actions are just right but OP is unhappy with the label. I guess I’m old enough to think actions speak louder than words.

Introducing her as his "friend" because he thinks "girlfriend" tantamount to fiancee (Lol) *is* an action. The OP said she felt like "a random chick he's screwing" when he introduced her as such. Why stay with someone around whom you feel that way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the two of you discussed how you want to label yourselves? If not, I can understand why he didn’t want to be presumptuous and call you his GF. Use your words and talk to him.

We have discussed it before and didn’t see eye to eye. He thinks boyfriend/girlfriend is some HUGE title. He see it the way I see being engaged. The day to day of our relationship is very good. We act like a couple and as far as I can tell (and from his words) he isn’t seeing anyone else. I guess I just have to deal with this “friend” thing. But for me it’s annoying. Titles are a form of respect in my eyes. An even though our relationship emotionally progresses there is a part of me that has a hard time taking him seriously as a potential partner because he keeps calling me his friend.

You should have mentioned this in your first post, OP. It's so irritating when people do this - it changes the entire tenor of the issue. This is a big problem. He doesn't want to commit, even with words.

Apologies for not making the original post longer. The odd thing is that he is very committed in deeds. He initiates spending a ton of time together, plans dates, is always there for me when I need him, invites me into his social life, brings me to work events, considers me in the future, etc. He is just adamant about not calling me his girlfriend. That leads me to be confused on whether I should just continue and be happy because we get along very well, or if this word hang up is indicative of a larger commitment problem.

NP - he’s pulling this crap in his 40s? Hell no. If he were in his early 20s, I might give him a pass for immaturity. That’s a total deal-breaker for a man in his 40s to behave this way.

I don’t follow what’s crap here. Sounds like his actions are just right but OP is unhappy with the label. I guess I’m old enough to think actions speak louder than words.

Introducing her as his "friend" because he thinks "girlfriend" tantamount to fiancee (Lol) *is* an action. The OP said she felt like "a random chick he's screwing" when he introduced her as such. Why stay with someone around whom you feel that way?

OP here. I’d just like to say I normally just feel like his girlfriend because that is how we’ve been acting for a months. But in the moment of being introduced it just felt stupid to be called a friend when there is nothing platonic about us. He regularly brings me around his social circle and I’d be very surprised if there are any other women he currently brings around. But there appears to be this hesitation on his part to assume that I’ll be his date a year from now. It’s odd because he does like me and his friends always comment on how happy he is with me and some have even asked when we are getting married (though that is a bit much for me).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the pp's. The word is girlfriend, not friend so I do think it's weird.

Agreed. You are his girlfriend if you are exclusive.

Weird AF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Calling a woman in her 40's a "GIRLfriend" sounds a bit odd. I can see why he didn't use the term.

Find something more substantiveu to be mad about.

Okay than say partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Calling a woman in her 40's a "GIRLfriend" sounds a bit odd. I can see why he didn't use the term.

Find something more substantiveu to be mad about.

Okay than say partner.

Partner is too serious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the two of you discussed how you want to label yourselves? If not, I can understand why he didn’t want to be presumptuous and call you his GF. Use your words and talk to him.

We have discussed it before and didn’t see eye to eye. He thinks boyfriend/girlfriend is some HUGE title. He see it the way I see being engaged. The day to day of our relationship is very good. We act like a couple and as far as I can tell (and from his words) he isn’t seeing anyone else. I guess I just have to deal with this “friend” thing. But for me it’s annoying. Titles are a form of respect in my eyes. An even though our relationship emotionally progresses there is a part of me that has a hard time taking him seriously as a potential partner because he keeps calling me his friend.

You should have mentioned this in your first post, OP. It's so irritating when people do this - it changes the entire tenor of the issue. This is a big problem. He doesn't want to commit, even with words.

Apologies for not making the original post longer. The odd thing is that he is very committed in deeds. He initiates spending a ton of time together, plans dates, is always there for me when I need him, invites me into his social life, brings me to work events, considers me in the future, etc. He is just adamant about not calling me his girlfriend. That leads me to be confused on whether I should just continue and be happy because we get along very well, or if this word hang up is indicative of a larger commitment problem.

NP - he’s pulling this crap in his 40s? Hell no. If he were in his early 20s, I might give him a pass for immaturity. That’s a total deal-breaker for a man in his 40s to behave this way.

I don’t follow what’s crap here. Sounds like his actions are just right but OP is unhappy with the label. I guess I’m old enough to think actions speak louder than words.

Introducing her as his "friend" because he thinks "girlfriend" tantamount to fiancee (Lol) *is* an action. The OP said she felt like "a random chick he's screwing" when he introduced her as such. Why stay with someone around whom you feel that way?

OP here. I’d just like to say I normally just feel like his girlfriend because that is how we’ve been acting for a months. But in the moment of being introduced it just felt stupid to be called a friend when there is nothing platonic about us. He regularly brings me around his social circle and I’d be very surprised if there are any other women he currently brings around. But there appears to be this hesitation on his part to assume that I’ll be his date a year from now. It’s odd because he does like me and his friends always comment on how happy he is with me and some have even asked when we are getting married (though that is a bit much for me).

Can you not read the writing between the lines here? It's likely that he's keeping his options open for someone he does want to be more serious about. I'm sorry, and I don't mean this to be snark, but it is possible that he's just not that into you. You aren't Ms Right, you are Ms Right Now, whom he enjoys a lot but doesn't plan to be still seeing a year from now.

[Anonymous]

You say she's just a friend Oh baby ...............

everyone sing now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My BF will introduce me as his “very good friend” and say it in a way that makes it very clear I’m more than just a friend. I’m too old to be a girl friend and being referred to as a partner is too business like for me.

? What's the difference between "very good friend" and a very good friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the two of you discussed how you want to label yourselves? If not, I can understand why he didn’t want to be presumptuous and call you his GF. Use your words and talk to him.

We have discussed it before and didn’t see eye to eye. He thinks boyfriend/girlfriend is some HUGE title. He see it the way I see being engaged. The day to day of our relationship is very good. We act like a couple and as far as I can tell (and from his words) he isn’t seeing anyone else. I guess I just have to deal with this “friend” thing. But for me it’s annoying. Titles are a form of respect in my eyes. An even though our relationship emotionally progresses there is a part of me that has a hard time taking him seriously as a potential partner because he keeps calling me his friend.

red flag.