Introduced me as his friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girlfriend in your 40s is odd sounding.

What should it be then?

[Anonymous]

This would bother me, OP. Trust your gut because you were the only one who could read the whole situation and the whole night. There was probably an ex or something in the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess I’m overacting. To me saying friend sounds like FWB or until you meet the next chick. It’s better to just say the persons name and show affection. Friend is also disingenuous because we are not friends.

But that's exactly what you are to each other right now. There is no real commitment either way to each other. Other than being sexually exclusive and not dating others. Until you meet someone "better."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people have strong opinions about the word “girlfriend” being used past a certain age. You are a woman, not a girl.
“Friend” is appropriate along with subtle signs of physical affection that indicate that you are in a relationship,

"Friend" is an acceptable term for it these days. Women and men are rarely just friends and that's implied in hetero relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You buried the lede!

Which is why I think this is a troll. Good trolling does exatly that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girlfriend in your 40s is odd sounding.

What should it be then?

"Lady caller"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girlfriend in your 40s is odd sounding.

No it's not.

[Anonymous]

Given your follow up op is clear this guy is a time waster.

And I think deep down you know that. You're making all the these threads hoping people will convince you that your gut is wrong

[Anonymous]

I think this needs context. Did he introduce you as his "friend" and treat you as though you were "just a friend"? Or did he introduce you as his friend and interact with you as if you were his love interest (weird wording, I know, but I'm struggling to come up with something other than girlfriend given how controversial that seems to be here)? Did he put his arm around you, make sure to get you a drink, look at you with affection, talk you up, etc? Or did he treat you the same way he treated everyone else there?

[Anonymous]

He could have just used your name and then the friends (if they are worth anything) would say 'Oh, so and so we are so glad to finally meet you!'

'Friend' just means he gave the intro zero thought - which isn't really unusual for a guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He could have just used your name and then the friends (if they are worth anything) would say 'Oh, so and so we are so glad to finally meet you!'

'Friend' just means he gave the intro zero thought - which isn't really unusual for a guy.

This is what I would have wanted. Just say my name. Calling me a friend just gets on my nerves. He’s introduced plenty of people to me as his friend, some of them women. And I feel given the nature of our relationship I shouldn’t be lumped into the same category.

[Anonymous]

I think girlfriend is the appropriate word, no matter the age. But apparently views differ, so you might want to give him the benefit of the doubt. If you want to be referred as his girlfriend, just tell him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the two of you discussed how you want to label yourselves? If not, I can understand why he didn’t want to be presumptuous and call you his GF. Use your words and talk to him.

We have discussed it before and didn’t see eye to eye. He thinks boyfriend/girlfriend is some HUGE title. He see it the way I see being engaged. The day to day of our relationship is very good. We act like a couple and as far as I can tell (and from his words) he isn’t seeing anyone else. I guess I just have to deal with this “friend” thing. But for me it’s annoying. Titles are a form of respect in my eyes. An even though our relationship emotionally progresses there is a part of me that has a hard time taking him seriously as a potential partner because he keeps calling me his friend.

You should have mentioned this in your first post, OP. It's so irritating when people do this - it changes the entire tenor of the issue. This is a big problem. He doesn't want to commit, even with words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this needs context. Did he introduce you as his "friend" and treat you as though you were "just a friend"? Or did he introduce you as his friend and interact with you as if you were his love interest (weird wording, I know, but I'm struggling to come up with something other than girlfriend given how controversial that seems to be here)? Did he put his arm around you, make sure to get you a drink, look at you with affection, talk you up, etc? Or did he treat you the same way he treated everyone else there?

It was clear through body language, kisses, tending to me that we are romantic. I didn’t feel he was denying we are romantic. I just felt like…here’s another random chick I’m screwing….when he called me his friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the two of you discussed how you want to label yourselves? If not, I can understand why he didn’t want to be presumptuous and call you his GF. Use your words and talk to him.

We have discussed it before and didn’t see eye to eye. He thinks boyfriend/girlfriend is some HUGE title. He see it the way I see being engaged. The day to day of our relationship is very good. We act like a couple and as far as I can tell (and from his words) he isn’t seeing anyone else. I guess I just have to deal with this “friend” thing. But for me it’s annoying. Titles are a form of respect in my eyes. An even though our relationship emotionally progresses there is a part of me that has a hard time taking him seriously as a potential partner because he keeps calling me his friend.

You should have mentioned this in your first post, OP. It's so irritating when people do this - it changes the entire tenor of the issue. This is a big problem. He doesn't want to commit, even with words.

+1

OP, you should have told us this to begin with. The problem was apparent before you met his friends and were introduced as a "friend" and so you shouldn't have been surprised in the least with how he introduced you. As far as he is concerned you aren't a couple, and you know that and apparently have put up with it. Yes, "girlfriend" or any title denoting commitment is about respect, but he isn't giving that to you (yet?). He either doesn't want to commit yet, or doesn't want to commit to you. Frankly given that it's been 6 mos, I don't see this changing. When men are smitten, they tend to want to lock it down. But hang out and see if things change if you are that into him.