I know this is really dumb but…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also he did tell me he has major self esteem issues (OP).

I’m allowed to not like something and to be turned off by something. I was honest and addressed it and didn’t just cut him off.

Why would you want to be with someone who has “major self-esteem issues” at this stage of your life, with a divorce under your belt?

I would take a pause on dating until you don’t feel like you have to stay with someone just because they’re nice to you. You may not be used to nice guys, but it’s the absolute baseline in dating criteria. Fairness shouldn’t even enter the equation when you’re gauging how you feel about something, or what your gut is telling you.

I guess because I was just getting to know him and I liked casually dating him so I overlooked it. I figured that at this age everyone has issues but perhaps he could work on it? (Although he made no mention of working off anything or therapy or any of that).

Here's a tip for dating 50-somethings. They are not going to change at this point. Also, pickins' are slim. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here—I did ask for clarification and explained my feelings.

I couldn’t help that I got the ick when I thought he had recently enjoyed trapping people on a ride with a noxious fart.

I wanted to talk things through. He seemed receptive in one breath and then cut me off.

This is not worth a continued conversation with someone I barely know and had seen a couple of times. I would have cut you off, too.

You're the red flag, OP. Well done!

Oh shut up

LOL, truth hurts

[Anonymous]

OP here—I completely recognize I was judgemental and I admitted it to him. I apologized and I admitted I misunderstood the situation.

I feel terrible because I feel like he turned on me after being nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here—I did ask for clarification and explained my feelings.

I couldn’t help that I got the ick when I thought he had recently enjoyed trapping people on a ride with a noxious fart.

I wanted to talk things through. He seemed receptive in one breath and then cut me off.

This is not worth a continued conversation with someone I barely know and had seen a couple of times. I would have cut you off, too.

You're the red flag, OP. Well done!

Oh shut up

LOL, truth hurts

I wouldn’t LOL but yeah it all hurts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here—I completely recognize I was judgemental and I admitted it to him. I apologized and I admitted I misunderstood the situation.

I feel terrible because I feel like he turned on me after being nice.

He didn't turn on you, he just decided he wasn't interested after an incident which showed really clearly that you were incompatible. When you are older and dating it is much easier to weed out what you are into and what you aren't. He saw you clearly have very different humor/tolerance for silly things and he ended it. You would have been within your rights to end the relationship because you don't like things like that (I also probably would have pumped the brakes in the face of fart jokes or stink bomb usage) and he is within his rights to end things because you clearly find him juvenile and you reacted really intensely in a text (I also would have pumped the brakes if I made a joke and someone recoiled like that).

There don't have to be bad guys in every situation. You dated a couple weeks and it didn't work out. You're not going to be compatible with every nice guy on the planet. It's fine, brush it off, thank you, next.

TBH you framing this as the silent treatment makes it seem like you are the problem here. He broke up with you in a way that did not seem mean and that clearly communicated that he wouldn't respond anymore so you weren't in limbo. That is NOT the silent treatment. It is honestly pretty courteous in break up land.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here—I completely recognize I was judgemental and I admitted it to him. I apologized and I admitted I misunderstood the situation.

I feel terrible because I feel like he turned on me after being nice.

He didn't turn on you, he just decided he wasn't interested after an incident which showed really clearly that you were incompatible. When you are older and dating it is much easier to weed out what you are into and what you aren't. He saw you clearly have very different humor/tolerance for silly things and he ended it. You would have been within your rights to end the relationship because you don't like things like that (I also probably would have pumped the brakes in the face of fart jokes or stink bomb usage) and he is within his rights to end things because you clearly find him juvenile and you reacted really intensely in a text (I also would have pumped the brakes if I made a joke and someone recoiled like that).

There don't have to be bad guys in every situation. You dated a couple weeks and it didn't work out. You're not going to be compatible with every nice guy on the planet. It's fine, brush it off, thank you, next.

TBH you framing this as the silent treatment makes it seem like you are the problem here. He broke up with you in a way that did not seem mean and that clearly communicated that he wouldn't respond anymore so you weren't in limbo. That is NOT the silent treatment. It is honestly pretty courteous in break up land.

I would tend to agree except that in the messages right before the last one he was saying he could never be mad at me, he was willing to go above and beyond for me, he thought we had something special, etc.

Then he said he would make my decision easier by cutting off phone and text contact because he didn’t think I was in it anymore. He finished by saying “sometimes you don’t realize a good catch until you throw it back. This really sucks.”

I wanted to keep seeing him until I hit the ick about what I thought was him laughing about grossing people out with farts: When I realized what he actually meant by stink bomb and something in his youth I tried to explain and I did apologize for being judgemental.

I didn’t even get a chance to discuss and I feel like if he actually cared and wasn’t just saying words he would’ve heard me out or called or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here—I completely recognize I was judgemental and I admitted it to him. I apologized and I admitted I misunderstood the situation.

I feel terrible because I feel like he turned on me after being nice.

He didn't turn on you, he just decided he wasn't interested after an incident which showed really clearly that you were incompatible. When you are older and dating it is much easier to weed out what you are into and what you aren't. He saw you clearly have very different humor/tolerance for silly things and he ended it. You would have been within your rights to end the relationship because you don't like things like that (I also probably would have pumped the brakes in the face of fart jokes or stink bomb usage) and he is within his rights to end things because you clearly find him juvenile and you reacted really intensely in a text (I also would have pumped the brakes if I made a joke and someone recoiled like that).

There don't have to be bad guys in every situation. You dated a couple weeks and it didn't work out. You're not going to be compatible with every nice guy on the planet. It's fine, brush it off, thank you, next.

TBH you framing this as the silent treatment makes it seem like you are the problem here. He broke up with you in a way that did not seem mean and that clearly communicated that he wouldn't respond anymore so you weren't in limbo. That is NOT the silent treatment. It is honestly pretty courteous in break up land.

I would tend to agree except that in the messages right before the last one he was saying he could never be mad at me, he was willing to go above and beyond for me, he thought we had something special, etc.

Then he said he would make my decision easier by cutting off phone and text contact because he didn’t think I was in it anymore. He finished by saying “sometimes you don’t realize a good catch until you throw it back. This really sucks.”

I wanted to keep seeing him until I hit the ick about what I thought was him laughing about grossing people out with farts: When I realized what he actually meant by stink bomb and something in his youth I tried to explain and I did apologize for being judgemental.

I didn’t even get a chance to discuss and I feel like if he actually cared and wasn’t just saying words he would’ve heard me out or called or something.

Or he is actually fine with fart jokes and even though this wasn't about that it made it clear to him that he wasn't compatible. He didn't want to say mean things so he sandwiched his no contact statement with a bunch of softening compliments. This isn't about your decision, it was his decision.

Regardless it was two weeks, either he was a nice guy who wasn't into you so you weren't compatible or he was a jerk who wasn't into you so you weren't compatible.

Either way there is nothing to be done but move on and little to be gained by overanalyzing. Try to be less quick to jump the gun in the future!

[Anonymous]

Yeah I updated the post he meant an actual stink bomb that he detonated, this was decades ago. Although not great I felt I could give him a pass for that.

I tried to explain but it was too late and he already decided he would “help me make my decision” (which I didn’t need help doing) and told me he would make it impossible to talk or text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here—I completely recognize I was judgemental and I admitted it to him. I apologized and I admitted I misunderstood the situation.

I feel terrible because I feel like he turned on me after being nice.

He didn't turn on you, he just decided he wasn't interested after an incident which showed really clearly that you were incompatible. When you are older and dating it is much easier to weed out what you are into and what you aren't. He saw you clearly have very different humor/tolerance for silly things and he ended it. You would have been within your rights to end the relationship because you don't like things like that (I also probably would have pumped the brakes in the face of fart jokes or stink bomb usage) and he is within his rights to end things because you clearly find him juvenile and you reacted really intensely in a text (I also would have pumped the brakes if I made a joke and someone recoiled like that).

There don't have to be bad guys in every situation. You dated a couple weeks and it didn't work out. You're not going to be compatible with every nice guy on the planet. It's fine, brush it off, thank you, next.

TBH you framing this as the silent treatment makes it seem like you are the problem here. He broke up with you in a way that did not seem mean and that clearly communicated that he wouldn't respond anymore so you weren't in limbo. That is NOT the silent treatment. It is honestly pretty courteous in break up land.

I would tend to agree except that in the messages right before the last one he was saying he could never be mad at me, he was willing to go above and beyond for me, he thought we had something special, etc.

Then he said he would make my decision easier by cutting off phone and text contact because he didn’t think I was in it anymore. He finished by saying “sometimes you don’t realize a good catch until you throw it back. This really sucks.”

I wanted to keep seeing him until I hit the ick about what I thought was him laughing about grossing people out with farts: When I realized what he actually meant by stink bomb and something in his youth I tried to explain and I did apologize for being judgemental.

I didn’t even get a chance to discuss and I feel like if he actually cared and wasn’t just saying words he would’ve heard me out or called or something.

Or he is actually fine with fart jokes and even though this wasn't about that it made it clear to him that he wasn't compatible. He didn't want to say mean things so he sandwiched his no contact statement with a bunch of softening compliments. This isn't about your decision, it was his decision.

Regardless it was two weeks, either he was a nice guy who wasn't into you so you weren't compatible or he was a jerk who wasn't into you so you weren't compatible.

Either way there is nothing to be done but move on and little to be gained by overanalyzing. Try to be less quick to jump the gun in the future!

I think he jumped the gun by making such a drastic and dramatic decision to stop communicating, not me (OP).

[Anonymous]

Stop obsessing over the rotten scraps in your bowl.

Go fill your bowl anew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop obsessing over the rotten scraps in your bowl.

Go fill your bowl anew.

Lol. Yeah, good advice. The rejection or whatever happened still stings though.

[Anonymous]

So I guess I shouldn’t call him and get some post breakup clarity? (*dodges tomatoes*)

[Anonymous]

It's probably not dumb. If you actually like the guy you'd find this funny like he does. Your signal is going off.

I stopped talking to one guy after 1 date because he kept asking for selfies and then commenting on each and every feature of mine. I asked him to stop and he insinuated that I couldn't take a compliment or that I was prude. Meanwhile, I had plenty of other nice guys to chat with or date who were not behaving this way.

TLDR: You have options, thank u next.