I know this is really dumb but…

[Anonymous]

Well, I think you're a bit immature, OP, to be turned off by one off-color joke. If it's a trend, then I agree with you!

I can guarantee that everyone, including you, says something inelegant once in a while. Thank goodness most people tolerate a few gauche remarks!

[Anonymous]

You do realize this is likely something he did when he was a child right?

When I was four I took a dump in the tub, if I tell my wife think that will that help fast track our divorce?

[Anonymous]

He said it was a real stink bomb, the kind you buy, and that he did this in his 20sz

[Anonymous]

I think your reaction is normal. I probably wouldn't be interested in someone anymore either.

[Anonymous]

OP here—I just don’t want to be unfair. He is a nice guy and nice to be, which I am not at all used to. Initially I thought it was gross and a turn off when I thought he was laughing about people being stuck smelling a fart but now that I know it was a stink bomb it’s not so great either but if he was a dumb kid in his 20s as he said…

I don’t know what to do or how to figure it out. I don’t want to make a mistake and lose a nice guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here—I just don’t want to be unfair. He is a nice guy and nice to be, which I am not at all used to. Initially I thought it was gross and a turn off when I thought he was laughing about people being stuck smelling a fart but now that I know it was a stink bomb it’s not so great either but if he was a dumb kid in his 20s as he said…

I don’t know what to do or how to figure it out. I don’t want to make a mistake and lose a nice guy.

OP - I suggest spending time evaluating how to date and why you want to date. Are you relatively new to it again after divorce? What has worked for you / and not in previous relationships? “Being unfair”? It’s not a contest. Or a job interview. You LITERALLY have every right to decide who you like and who you don’t … just because.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here—I just don’t want to be unfair. He is a nice guy and nice to be, which I am not at all used to. Initially I thought it was gross and a turn off when I thought he was laughing about people being stuck smelling a fart but now that I know it was a stink bomb it’s not so great either but if he was a dumb kid in his 20s as he said…

I don’t know what to do or how to figure it out. I don’t want to make a mistake and lose a nice guy.

OP - I suggest spending time evaluating how to date and why you want to date. Are you relatively new to it again after divorce? What has worked for you / and not in previous relationships? “Being unfair”? It’s not a contest. Or a job interview. You LITERALLY have every right to decide who you like and who you don’t … just because.

Me again … focus on building trust in yourself and what you feel. That said, you can decide to see him again or a few times if you want. But notice if you’re trying to convince yourself you like him or if you really do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you one of those people that only farts in the bathroom?

The late Naomi Judd claimed that she had never farted in front of her husband, so those types do exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here—I just don’t want to be unfair. He is a nice guy and nice to be, which I am not at all used to. Initially I thought it was gross and a turn off when I thought he was laughing about people being stuck smelling a fart but now that I know it was a stink bomb it’s not so great either but if he was a dumb kid in his 20s as he said…

I don’t know what to do or how to figure it out. I don’t want to make a mistake and lose a nice guy.

Stick with it and see how it goes.

I'm a pp at 16:54. I think a big concern of mine was immaturity and potentially disrespect. I think some men wouldn't use bathroom humor with a woman they really respect and are interested in, but would use it with someone they aren't that into. It's stupid, but I am pretty sure it is the case. So I'd be concerned about a lack of respect there. And the immaturity thing, too. I don't think I'd ever be attracted to someone into bathroom humor; I just wouldn't be. But this whole actual stink bomb thing is different -- it's messed up, but in a different way. Given that it was a while ago, I'd probably let it go for now and recommit to the relationship given that you like him otherwise. But be on the lookout for immaturity and poor judgment; at another sign of it you might want to get out of there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you one of those people that only farts in the bathroom?

The late Naomi Judd claimed that she had never farted in front of her husband, so those types do exist.

My DH has only farted in front of me once in 20 years and it was while we were traveling and he was having GI issues and literally couldn't help it. He does not like it at all when I do it, so I try not to. It is a question of manners and respect. So yes, "those types do exist."

[Anonymous]

OP here—well it doesn’t matter now I guess because the guy decided to cut off contact with me.

In one breath he said how much he cared about me, how we have something special, he’s willing to go above and beyond for me…then he said it had become a difficult decision for me so he would make it easier by making it impossible to text or call.

I’m baffled and it feels really bad too. I know he has major self-esteem and I suspect abandonment issues but I was trying to be fair and rational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here—well it doesn’t matter now I guess because the guy decided to cut off contact with me.

In one breath he said how much he cared about me, how we have something special, he’s willing to go above and beyond for me…then he said it had become a difficult decision for me so he would make it easier by making it impossible to text or call.

I’m baffled and it feels really bad too. I know he has major self-esteem and I suspect abandonment issues but I was trying to be fair and rational.

Op - relationships are emotional too. It’s ok / more than ok to have them, make decisions based upon them and to expect emotional awareness in your partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here—well it doesn’t matter now I guess because the guy decided to cut off contact with me.

In one breath he said how much he cared about me, how we have something special, he’s willing to go above and beyond for me…then he said it had become a difficult decision for me so he would make it easier by making it impossible to text or call.

I’m baffled and it feels really bad too. I know he has major self-esteem and I suspect abandonment issues but I was trying to be fair and rational.

You judged the guy immediately for something he did 20-30 years ago and are blaming him for having self-esteem issues. I’d have ran away too.

[Anonymous]

Op here—I did ask for clarification and explained my feelings.

I couldn’t help that I got the ick when I thought he had recently enjoyed trapping people on a ride with a noxious fart.

I wanted to talk things through. He seemed receptive in one breath and then cut me off.

[Anonymous]

Also he did tell me he has major self esteem issues (OP).

I’m allowed to not like something and to be turned off by something. I was honest and addressed it and didn’t just cut him off.