Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have to admit as both a college athlete and former coach that the self-proclaimed former athletes and coaches are the worst parents to deal with. They have strong opinions and struggle with objectivity. Even if their kid is playing all the time, they don't like the shape or style of play or have some other complaint. I'd try to be as positive as you can and encourage your daughter to say something if she specifically brings it up as a problem in the spring.
The other thing you need to be careful about is directly undermining the coach with your daughter. Saying they don't know what they are doing or bashing their decisions will only confuse and upset her. She is trying to adapt to a new team and do the best she can, which is never easy (even if you are good). Giving people the benefit of the doubt in what you communicate to your kids is important far beyond youth sports.
This is really good advice we should all remember. When our kids are part of a team, their coach is the leader and as part of the team they have to learn to adapt and follow the coach’s lead. We may question or disagree with certain decisions from the coach—and talking about those difference of opinion with your child in a calm, respectful, and HUMBLE way (none of us are Jose Mourinho here)—is fine, and can be part of a child’s learning, but avoid doing it in a way that undermines the coach or creates a confusing “dual-loyalty” mentality in your kid, where he’s always second-guessing everything the coach does and looking over at you on the metaphorical sideline for your take.
Let them play and learn; sprinkle some of your own advice and knowledge in where you can; and above all keep it fun. At the heart of it all, no kid who doesn’t LOVE the beautiful game is going to reach his potential as a player.
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