Boy almost 14, no sign of puberty - would you be concerned?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Agreed on talking to his ped as a more reasonable way to assuage one's concerns generally, but on the other hand, I would be willing to bet a fair amount of money that no ped is going to be like, "oh your not yet 14 year old is 5'3" and has no visible signs of puberty (based on a parent, rather than doctor's, assessment), definitely time to FTFO."


Kid is 14 next week and pediatrician appointment is a few days later, as indicated in OP, but thanks for being condescending.


How do you view those first two facts as playing in? I don't. Of course ask, but the kid is not yet even 14 and is as tall as me, a grown adult person.

Honestly, I am somewhat sorry to have been snappy, but on the other hand, as someone married to a short guy (5'5") and the mom of two boys who are likely to be short, I am pretty sick of people on DCUM pathologizing and having massive anxiety about shortness within the range of normal. It's ridiculous. If someone acted this way about a kid being slightly overweight, they would get jumped all over.

Did you actually pay attention to my OP? It’s not about height but about the onset of puberty. Height is relevant because both his parents are VERY tall. So this isn’t like your experience. Yes, it would be very odd and something would be wrong if I, I woman who is not far off 6’ had a 5’5” adult son with my similarly (very) tall husband.

Eh. Not really that odd. Unexpected perhaps but certainly within the norm. Dark haired or dark eyed parents have light hair or eyes kids. Short parents have tall kids. Tall parents have short kids.

The average person has 7 genetic recessive traits that can produce a genetic anomaly. And those people uncommonly but regularly pair up and have kids with that genetic anomaly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Agreed on talking to his ped as a more reasonable way to assuage one's concerns generally, but on the other hand, I would be willing to bet a fair amount of money that no ped is going to be like, "oh your not yet 14 year old is 5'3" and has no visible signs of puberty (based on a parent, rather than doctor's, assessment), definitely time to FTFO."


Kid is 14 next week and pediatrician appointment is a few days later, as indicated in OP, but thanks for being condescending.


How do you view those first two facts as playing in? I don't. Of course ask, but the kid is not yet even 14 and is as tall as me, a grown adult person.

Honestly, I am somewhat sorry to have been snappy, but on the other hand, as someone married to a short guy (5'5") and the mom of two boys who are likely to be short, I am pretty sick of people on DCUM pathologizing and having massive anxiety about shortness within the range of normal. It's ridiculous. If someone acted this way about a kid being slightly overweight, they would get jumped all over.

Did you actually pay attention to my OP? It’s not about height but about the onset of puberty. Height is relevant because both his parents are VERY tall. So this isn’t like your experience. Yes, it would be very odd and something would be wrong if I, I woman who is not far off 6’ had a 5’5” adult son with my similarly (very) tall husband.

Eh. Not really that odd. Unexpected perhaps but certainly within the norm. Dark haired or dark eyed parents have light hair or eyes kids. Short parents have tall kids. Tall parents have short kids.

The average person has 7 genetic recessive traits that can produce a genetic anomaly. And those people uncommonly but regularly pair up and have kids with that genetic anomaly.

+1

I have an older son and we know a lot of kids who don’t “match” with their parents heights…we know two short parents (maybe 5’8” and 5’3”) with a 6’2” son, for example. Strangely, we also know a lot of tall parents with surprisingly short sons. Unless those boys grow during college (could happen but does not seem super likely)…. Our younger son is tracking to be much shorter than would be expected, as well- though he has some time yet. Yet our DD is ending up much taller than expected. Seems to be a crapshoot.

I’m not convinced that the predictions or charts based on parent height mean much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

That’s an average height at that age. See an endocrinologist if you are worried.


It’s definitely not, especially for a kid with tall parents, and the issue is that he has zero signs of puberty.

NP here. It's somewhat below average, but not extraordinarily so. My son is also almost 14, and is 5'4". He's in the 40th percentile for height, as is his best friend whose dad is 6'2" (a few months older than DS).
OP, when you say zero signs of puberty, what do you mean? My son's first sign of puberty was armpit hair, which I would not have noticed if he had not given me a hug at the beach (he is blonde). His voice began to change shortly thereafter.

When I say zero I mean he is in all ways like a child. Absolutely no signs at all.

NP and I really doubt you can be so certain. My kid is 14 and sees an endocrinologist who at the last appointment did detect very early signs of puberty. I see my kid naked as does DH (kid somehow does not care and occasionally wanders around this way) and had noticed nothing. It can be very subtle and not visible to the untrained eye.

At any rate, talk to your ped at the checkup and it’s easy enough to have an appt with an endocrinologist if there is concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. I never considered red shirting him and would never do. He was so academically advanced as a preschooler he had to wait years for the other kids (and the teaching) to catch up with him. He’s still very advanced academically (eg taking calculus in 9th grade). Red shirting him would have just been a waste of a year. That he’s small isn’t an issue, but I am wondering about puberty.

I’m sorry your description is obnoxious. Hopefully he has some humility unlike you[b].

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. I never considered red shirting him and would never do. He was so academically advanced as a preschooler he had to wait years for the other kids (and the teaching) to catch up with him. He’s still very advanced academically (eg taking calculus in 9th grade). Red shirting him would have just been a waste of a year. That he’s small isn’t an issue, but I am wondering about puberty.

I’m sorry your description is obnoxious. Hopefully he has some humility unlike you[b].

+1

There was a typo there, he’s in precalculus for 9th, not calc, but other than that 100 percent accurate. How exactly would you like me to state it? I’ve had years of people asking why I didn’t redshirt and that gets obnoxious - but I get why you have to be defensive about why you did and how it gave your kid an academic advantage as well as a physical one. My kid didn’t need an academic advantage and could have been put up a grade and still excelled. It’s not a brag, it comes with its own issues, but if that threatens you, that’s your issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. I never considered red shirting him and would never do. He was so academically advanced as a preschooler he had to wait years for the other kids (and the teaching) to catch up with him. He’s still very advanced academically (eg taking calculus in 9th grade). Red shirting him would have just been a waste of a year. That he’s small isn’t an issue, but I am wondering about puberty.

I’m sorry your description is obnoxious. Hopefully he has some humility unlike you[b].

+1

There was a typo there, he’s in precalculus for 9th, not calc, but other than that 100 percent accurate. How exactly would you like me to state it? I’ve had years of people asking why I didn’t redshirt and that gets obnoxious - but I get why you have to be defensive about why you did and how it gave your kid an academic advantage as well as a physical one. My kid didn’t need an academic advantage and could have been put up a grade and still excelled. It’s not a brag, it comes with its own issues, but if that threatens you, that’s your issue.

I have a teenage son with a late birthday that we did not redshirt. I think he may be the youngest in his grade. No one, not a single person, has ever asked me why we didn’t redshirt. You sound obnoxious with your bragging and it is creepy that you are so adamant that there are no signs of puberty. Are you measuring his testicles? Checking for hair? Just take him to the doctor if you are really concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. I never considered red shirting him and would never do. He was so academically advanced as a preschooler he had to wait years for the other kids (and the teaching) to catch up with him. He’s still very advanced academically (eg taking calculus in 9th grade). Red shirting him would have just been a waste of a year. That he’s small isn’t an issue, but I am wondering about puberty.

I’m sorry your description is obnoxious. Hopefully he has some humility unlike you[b].

+1

There was a typo there, he’s in precalculus for 9th, not calc, but other than that 100 percent accurate. How exactly would you like me to state it? I’ve had years of people asking why I didn’t redshirt and that gets obnoxious - but I get why you have to be defensive about why you did and how it gave your kid an academic advantage as well as a physical one. My kid didn’t need an academic advantage and could have been put up a grade and still excelled. It’s not a brag, it comes with its own issues, but if that threatens you, that’s your issue.


You could have simply said academically he was ready for Kindergarten. No need to be insulting about “waiting years for kids to catch up to him”. No threat to me, I also have a child who is gifted. I truly hope that you don’t speak about your child’s peers to him the way you have described them here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. I never considered red shirting him and would never do. He was so academically advanced as a preschooler he had to wait years for the other kids (and the teaching) to catch up with him. He’s still very advanced academically (eg taking calculus in 9th grade). Red shirting him would have just been a waste of a year. That he’s small isn’t an issue, but I am wondering about puberty.

I’m sorry your description is obnoxious. Hopefully he has some humility unlike you[b].

+1

There was a typo there, he’s in precalculus for 9th, not calc, but other than that 100 percent accurate. How exactly would you like me to state it? I’ve had years of people asking why I didn’t redshirt and that gets obnoxious - but I get why you have to be defensive about why you did and how it gave your kid an academic advantage as well as a physical one. My kid didn’t need an academic advantage and could have been put up a grade and still excelled. It’s not a brag, it comes with its own issues, but if that threatens you, that’s your issue.

I have a teenage son with a late birthday that we did not redshirt. I think he may be the youngest in his grade. No one, not a single person, has ever asked me why we didn’t redshirt. You sound obnoxious with your bragging and it is creepy that you are so adamant that there are no signs of puberty. Are you measuring his testicles? Checking for hair? Just take him to the doctor if you are really concerned.

Really? There’s been a lot of judgment implied in this thread for not redshirting. I got it a lot for my kid.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry your description is obnoxious. Hopefully he has some humility unlike you[b].


+1

There was a typo there, he’s in precalculus for 9th, not calc, but other than that 100 percent accurate. How exactly would you like me to state it? I’ve had years of people asking why I didn’t redshirt and that gets obnoxious - but I get why you have to be defensive about why you did and how it gave your kid an academic advantage as well as a physical one. My kid didn’t need an academic advantage and could have been put up a grade and still excelled. It’s not a brag, it comes with its own issues, but if that threatens you, that’s your issue.

NP. I have a son with a late August birthday, he is a rising 9th grader and also in precalc. He is 5'4" and 103 lbs. No one has asked me why I didn't redshirt him since he was in 3rd grade. If people are asking you this more recently, either you are hanging out with a bad crowd, or something else is going on besides him being small and young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I’m sorry your description is obnoxious. Hopefully he has some humility unlike you[b].


+1

There was a typo there, he’s in precalculus for 9th, not calc, but other than that 100 percent accurate. How exactly would you like me to state it? I’ve had years of people asking why I didn’t redshirt and that gets obnoxious - but I get why you have to be defensive about why you did and how it gave your kid an academic advantage as well as a physical one. My kid didn’t need an academic advantage and could have been put up a grade and still excelled. It’s not a brag, it comes with its own issues, but if that threatens you, that’s your issue.

NP. I have a son with a late August birthday, he is a rising 9th grader and also in precalc. He is 5'4" and 103 lbs. No one has asked me why I didn't redshirt him since he was in 3rd grade. If people are asking you this more recently, either you are hanging out with a bad crowd, or something else is going on besides him being small and young.

It hasn’t happened much recently, at least not from anyone who hasn’t been saying or hinting at it for years, unsolicited, like in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. I never considered red shirting him and would never do. He was so academically advanced as a preschooler he had to wait years for the other kids (and the teaching) to catch up with him. He’s still very advanced academically (eg taking calculus in 9th grade). Red shirting him would have just been a waste of a year. That he’s small isn’t an issue, but I am wondering about puberty.

I’m sorry your description is obnoxious. Hopefully he has some humility unlike you[b].

+1

There was a typo there, he’s in precalculus for 9th, not calc, but other than that 100 percent accurate. How exactly would you like me to state it? I’ve had years of people asking why I didn’t redshirt and that gets obnoxious - but I get why you have to be defensive about why you did and how it gave your kid an academic advantage as well as a physical one. My kid didn’t need an academic advantage and could have been put up a grade and still excelled. It’s not a brag, it comes with its own issues, but if that threatens you, that’s your issue.

You could have simply said academically he was ready for Kindergarten. No need to be insulting about “waiting years for kids to catch up to him”. No threat to me, I also have a child who is gifted. I truly hope that you don’t speak about your child’s peers to him the way you have described them here.



I didn’t say he was “ready for kindergarten” because that wouldn’t have been an accurate way to characterize it. It was never a consideration. He started school shortly before he turned 3. What I said was factual. And no I don’t talk about my child’s peers to him because this was years ago. They caught up, as expected and he’s not a massive outlier anymore, though still should not have been redshirted and is more than ready for high school.

[Anonymous]

NP here. I can start to obsessive over my son’s growth, as he is the smallest and youngest in the grade. But then I remind myself that we are late bloomers (puberty and height) on both sides of the family. Boys who were teeny tiny until junior and senior year of high school. One grew 5” sophomore year of college and ended up at 6’1. Girls who got their periods at 15 and 16 and all ended up totally normal at 5’5 to 5’9 in height.
There is a huge range, but it does seem a lot of kids are starting earlier these days… I don’t remember 10 year olds with periods or using deodorant int 1990.

[Anonymous]

OP, just talk to his ped.

You seem unpleasantly intense (about his height, and puberty, and intelligence, and redshirting comments from years ago). I cannot imagine that your intensity is not affecting your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I can start to obsessive over my son’s growth, as he is the smallest and youngest in the grade. But then I remind myself that we are late bloomers (puberty and height) on both sides of the family. Boys who were teeny tiny until junior and senior year of high school. One grew 5” sophomore year of college and ended up at 6’1. Girls who got their periods at 15 and 16 and all ended up totally normal at 5’5 to 5’9 in height.
There is a huge range, but it does seem a lot of kids are starting earlier these days… I don’t remember 10 year olds with periods or using deodorant int 1990.

Just to give you an anecdotal data point, I was 10 with a period in the 1980s and I wasn't the only one. It did suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever known an adult man who had not post pubescent? Or any adult who wasn't sexually mature? I understand you want reassurance OP but as a PP has noted puberty is as certain as death and taxes.

Agree. Relax. There is a large range for puberty and comparing isn’t helpful. I remember starting high school in the late 90s with half the boys looking like boys and half of them looking like men. This was normal then and is normal now. Every mom here seems to want the tallest and strongest son at the earliest age. That isn’t reality