Boy almost 14, no sign of puberty - would you be concerned?

[Anonymous]

The first thing I noticed about DS regarding puberty was his eyebrows. One day, he came down for breakfast, and I kept looking at him. There was something different about him, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Then it hit me: his eyebrows were darker (fair skin and reddish hair), and fuller. Prior to, his eyebrows were like a child's: thinner and lighter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

That’s an average height at that age. See an endocrinologist if you are worried.


It’s definitely not, especially for a kid with tall parents, and the issue is that he has zero signs of puberty.

NP here. It's somewhat below average, but not extraordinarily so. My son is also almost 14, and is 5'4". He's in the 40th percentile for height, as is his best friend whose dad is 6'2" (a few months older than DS).
OP, when you say zero signs of puberty, what do you mean? My son's first sign of puberty was armpit hair, which I would not have noticed if he had not given me a hug at the beach (he is blonde). His voice began to change shortly thereafter.

+1

Boys this age are all over the place, and it doesn’t mean much OP. My 14.5 yo freshman is just about 5’6”- on his 14th birthday he was 5’3”. His growth has finally picked up in the past year. He is super skinny and only in the early stages of puberty but has definitely started. DH and I are average-ish (6’0”, 5’5”) but there are MANY boys his age who are his height or shorter- including some who have very tall parents. Practically anything is normal at this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sure this will come up at his ped appt. If the ped is concerned, tests may ordered.

Are you sure he hasn’t started puberty? My 14yo has no outward signs that I would notice (voice, facial or armpit hair etc) but has definitely started puberty per our ped. The only signs at first are below the belt, which you would (obviously) probably not be aware of. The major growth comes a bit later, usually- sometimes a lot later.

Has your DS ever been tall? Has he been growing fine the last few years- but just not a growth spurt yet? What were your and DH’s growth patterns- did either of you mature on the late side? I believe peds take all of that, and more, into account.

My own DS is a bit behind at age 14.5 but DH was the same, so it is no surprise. Our ped has no concerns.

As someone who has been through this with a son who started puberty on the late side, and was followed by an endocrinologist for a period of time, this is the best reply OP has received.

What signs have you checked for? Are you familiar with Tanner stages? The earliest outward sign of puberty isn't something most parents are going to notice (testicle enlargement).

Has he fallen off his growth curve? Was he still on the curve at his 13 yr check-up?

Were you or your DH late to start puberty?

This is OP. When I said zero signs, I meant zero signs. He has definitely not started puberty at all. I started puberty at a normal time (about 11) and DH doesn’t really remember though said it was gradual with no big growth spurt. He wasn’t exceptionally tall until college but also wasn’t small at any point. He does remember that he didn’t shave until college though, but he also started college at 17.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

That’s an average height at that age. See an endocrinologist if you are worried.


It’s definitely not, especially for a kid with tall parents, and the issue is that he has zero signs of puberty.

NP here. It's somewhat below average, but not extraordinarily so. My son is also almost 14, and is 5'4". He's in the 40th percentile for height, as is his best friend whose dad is 6'2" (a few months older than DS).
OP, when you say zero signs of puberty, what do you mean? My son's first sign of puberty was armpit hair, which I would not have noticed if he had not given me a hug at the beach (he is blonde). His voice began to change shortly thereafter.

When I say zero I mean he is in all ways like a child. Absolutely no signs at all.

[Anonymous]

You are a woman OP. Women start puberty years earlier than boys. My DS was the smallest kid in the entire 5th grade. Girls who were shorter than he was grew rapidly that year and towered over him. By 11th grade, he was well over a foot taller than most of those same girls. When was his last check-up? If he hasn't had one recently, schedule one now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

That’s an average height at that age. See an endocrinologist if you are worried.


It’s definitely not, especially for a kid with tall parents, and the issue is that he has zero signs of puberty.

NP here. It's somewhat below average, but not extraordinarily so. My son is also almost 14, and is 5'4". He's in the 40th percentile for height, as is his best friend whose dad is 6'2" (a few months older than DS).
OP, when you say zero signs of puberty, what do you mean? My son's first sign of puberty was armpit hair, which I would not have noticed if he had not given me a hug at the beach (he is blonde). His voice began to change shortly thereafter.

When I say zero I mean he is in all ways like a child. Absolutely no signs at all.

NP: but how can you know this? The first signs are testicular enlargement and then a bit of pubic hair. I can’t imagine you still see him unclothed or would discuss such things? I believe if there are truly NO signs as described- not even testicular enlargement, then the ped will send him for a workup as that is officially considered “delayed” at age 14 (I think). But- he may have those signs and you are unaware.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sure this will come up at his ped appt. If the ped is concerned, tests may ordered.

Are you sure he hasn’t started puberty? My 14yo has no outward signs that I would notice (voice, facial or armpit hair etc) but has definitely started puberty per our ped. The only signs at first are below the belt, which you would (obviously) probably not be aware of. The major growth comes a bit later, usually- sometimes a lot later.

Has your DS ever been tall? Has he been growing fine the last few years- but just not a growth spurt yet? What were your and DH’s growth patterns- did either of you mature on the late side? I believe peds take all of that, and more, into account.

My own DS is a bit behind at age 14.5 but DH was the same, so it is no surprise. Our ped has no concerns.

As someone who has been through this with a son who started puberty on the late side, and was followed by an endocrinologist for a period of time, this is the best reply OP has received.

What signs have you checked for? Are you familiar with Tanner stages? The earliest outward sign of puberty isn't something most parents are going to notice (testicle enlargement).

Has he fallen off his growth curve? Was he still on the curve at his 13 yr check-up?

Were you or your DH late to start puberty?

This is OP. When I said zero signs, I meant zero signs. He has definitely not started puberty at all. I started puberty at a normal time (about 11) and DH doesn’t really remember though said it was gradual with no big growth spurt. He wasn’t exceptionally tall until college but also wasn’t small at any point. He does remember that he didn’t shave until college though, but he also started college at 17.

FWIW that does sound “late” on your DHs part “he wasnt exceptionally tall until college” and “didn’t shave until college”. Not unusually so- lots of boys/men are that way- but all of that is on the late side, for sure. Certainly not early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

That’s an average height at that age. See an endocrinologist if you are worried.


It’s definitely not, especially for a kid with tall parents, and the issue is that he has zero signs of puberty.

NP here. It's somewhat below average, but not extraordinarily so. My son is also almost 14, and is 5'4". He's in the 40th percentile for height, as is his best friend whose dad is 6'2" (a few months older than DS).
OP, when you say zero signs of puberty, what do you mean? My son's first sign of puberty was armpit hair, which I would not have noticed if he had not given me a hug at the beach (he is blonde). His voice began to change shortly thereafter.

When I say zero I mean he is in all ways like a child. Absolutely no signs at all.

NP: but how can you know this? The first signs are testicular enlargement and then a bit of pubic hair. I can’t imagine you still see him unclothed or would discuss such things? I believe if there are truly NO signs as described- not even testicular enlargement, then the ped will send him for a workup as that is officially considered “delayed” at age 14 (I think). But- he may have those signs and you are unaware.

He does not have those signs.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t worry. These posts are made here a LOT my anxious mothers. So clearly this is common and he isn’t really an outlier. It will happen

[Anonymous]

OP, stop crowd sourcing. All you'll get is generalizations that may or may not have anything to do with your son.

You should be talking to his pediatrician who can do a check-up on your specific, individual son and decide whether there is any reason to be concerned or to determine whether he should run any additional tests on your son to determine whether there is anything to be concerned about.

What happens to dozens or hundreds of unrelated children has no bearing on your individual family other than statistics. If you want to run your medical care based on statistics of the human population rather than scientific tests of your family and your family history, then you deserve the anxiety that you've brought on yourself.

[Anonymous]

OP, stop crowd sourcing. All you'll get is generalizations that may or may not have anything to do with your son.

You should be talking to his pediatrician who can do a check-up on your specific, individual son and decide whether there is any reason to be concerned or to determine whether he should run any additional tests on your son to determine whether there is anything to be concerned about.

Agreed on talking to his ped as a more reasonable way to assuage one's concerns generally, but on the other hand, I would be willing to bet a fair amount of money that no ped is going to be like, "oh your not yet 14 year old is 5'3" and has no visible signs of puberty (based on a parent, rather than doctor's, assessment), definitely time to FTFO."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP, stop crowd sourcing. All you'll get is generalizations that may or may not have anything to do with your son.

You should be talking to his pediatrician who can do a check-up on your specific, individual son and decide whether there is any reason to be concerned or to determine whether he should run any additional tests on your son to determine whether there is anything to be concerned about.

Agreed on talking to his ped as a more reasonable way to assuage one's concerns generally, but on the other hand, I would be willing to bet a fair amount of money that no ped is going to be like, "oh your not yet 14 year old is 5'3" and has no visible signs of puberty (based on a parent, rather than doctor's, assessment), definitely time to FTFO."

Kid is 14 next week and pediatrician appointment is a few days later, as indicated in OP, but thanks for being condescending.

[Anonymous]

Agreed on talking to his ped as a more reasonable way to assuage one's concerns generally, but on the other hand, I would be willing to bet a fair amount of money that no ped is going to be like, "oh your not yet 14 year old is 5'3" and has no visible signs of puberty (based on a parent, rather than doctor's, assessment), definitely time to FTFO."


Kid is 14 next week and pediatrician appointment is a few days later, as indicated in OP, but thanks for being condescending.

How do you view those first two facts as playing in? I don't. Of course ask, but the kid is not yet even 14 and is as tall as me, a grown adult person.

[Anonymous]

Agreed on talking to his ped as a more reasonable way to assuage one's concerns generally, but on the other hand, I would be willing to bet a fair amount of money that no ped is going to be like, "oh your not yet 14 year old is 5'3" and has no visible signs of puberty (based on a parent, rather than doctor's, assessment), definitely time to FTFO."


Kid is 14 next week and pediatrician appointment is a few days later, as indicated in OP, but thanks for being condescending.


How do you view those first two facts as playing in? I don't. Of course ask, but the kid is not yet even 14 and is as tall as me, a grown adult person.

Honestly, I am somewhat sorry to have been snappy, but on the other hand, as someone married to a short guy (5'5") and the mom of two boys who are likely to be short, I am pretty sick of people on DCUM pathologizing and having massive anxiety about shortness within the range of normal. It's ridiculous. If someone acted this way about a kid being slightly overweight, they would get jumped all over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Agreed on talking to his ped as a more reasonable way to assuage one's concerns generally, but on the other hand, I would be willing to bet a fair amount of money that no ped is going to be like, "oh your not yet 14 year old is 5'3" and has no visible signs of puberty (based on a parent, rather than doctor's, assessment), definitely time to FTFO."


Kid is 14 next week and pediatrician appointment is a few days later, as indicated in OP, but thanks for being condescending.


How do you view those first two facts as playing in? I don't. Of course ask, but the kid is not yet even 14 and is as tall as me, a grown adult person.

Honestly, I am somewhat sorry to have been snappy, but on the other hand, as someone married to a short guy (5'5") and the mom of two boys who are likely to be short, I am pretty sick of people on DCUM pathologizing and having massive anxiety about shortness within the range of normal. It's ridiculous. If someone acted this way about a kid being slightly overweight, they would get jumped all over.

TBH I think people always have difficulty separating the issue of height and the separate issue of puberty/physical maturity on these types of posts. They aren’t always the same thing at all. Freshmen boys will obviously have both a range of heights and a range of physical maturity levels…It would not be unusual for a boy (or his parents) this age to start feeling a bit worried if he has not started puberty at all, regardless of height.