GS-14 Enough?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So here’s the question. At 32, has she made partner? If not she is too late to lock down another partner because she is way too old unless she is incredibly beautiful, they usually marry someone from law school or early associate years.

Are you open to an older divorcee? Otherwise I would skip dating and focus on locking down your own partnership.

At 32, it would extremely rare to be partner.

If you make partner that early you are probably so well connected that you have enough family money such that what your spouse does is irrelevant

[Anonymous]

I think it can work great to have one spouse be a GS14 and the other be super ambitious in the private sector. But you both have to appreciate and respect each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who views a career in high-level government lawyering as “not living up to potential” has priorities that will not make this match work. Go after your own values; you treasure big money earners.

To some people living up to one's potential is just code for making as much money as possible. They want a high earning spouse but they couch it as "oh I'm just worried you're not living up to your potential!" as if they are doing them a favor lol. There was that thread about why people don't like strivers. This type of thing is one reason.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should cut him loose so he can dodge a bullet

Yup, 100%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I turned 32 this year and made a resolution to find someone to settle down with. Last month I hit it off with someone who seemed great. The problem is he’s civil service, GS-14.

Everyone I’ve dated in the past has been much higher income (private industry). I’m worried long term I’m going to be resentful if he can’t contribute to our lifestyle.

Should I cut him loose?

Is this for real or trolling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I turned 32 this year and made a resolution to find someone to settle down with. Last month I hit it off with someone who seemed great. The problem is he’s civil service, GS-14.

Everyone I’ve dated in the past has been much higher income (private industry). I’m worried long term I’m going to be resentful if he can’t contribute to our lifestyle.

Should I cut him loose?

Is this for real or trolling?

Who cares. If it's real I hope OP breaks up with him.

[Anonymous]

You aren't in love. You don't understand or respect him as a person. You are ready to cut him loose because he doesn't want to run the rat race.

Imho women who are high earners, they are in a better position to marry for love, friendship and character because they don't need someone for his paycheck.

[Anonymous]

Don't marry just because you want to wear a wedding dress or because your biological clock is ticking and you want to settle. You'll end up divorcing because clearly this isn't a love marriage but a married of convenience and as soon as you get a better alternative, you'll move on blaming him for lack of ambition and your naïveté.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fed/Big Law only works when the Fed is the primary parent and has a job with either prestige or flexibility. If you don’t think this guy is primary parent/household material, it’s not a fit. Also if you will resent not being primary parent, it’s not a fit.

This. If you are working your a** off in Biglaw AND doing more of the household and childcare management, and he is working a nice forty hour week as a GS 14 but leaving you with the lionshare of the household work, you're going to get irritated and resentful most likely.

If him working gs 14 means he is taking on more of the childcare and household management, it could work well.

[Anonymous]

I get why you are alone at 32.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I turned 32 this year and made a resolution to find someone to settle down with. Last month I hit it off with someone who seemed great. The problem is he’s civil service, GS-14.

Everyone I’ve dated in the past has been much higher income (private industry). I’m worried long term I’m going to be resentful if he can’t contribute to our lifestyle.

Should I cut him loose?

First off, stop trolling or become a better person.

Second, since you are worried about him being able to contribute you must make considerably more than he does.(up to 172k) Only on DCUM is a couple in their early 30s pulling in north of 400k somehow a problem, especially when one of them has excellent benefits and a pension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I turned 32 this year and made a resolution to find someone to settle down with. Last month I hit it off with someone who seemed great. The problem is he’s civil service, GS-14.

Everyone I’ve dated in the past has been much higher income (private industry). I’m worried long term I’m going to be resentful if he can’t contribute to our lifestyle.

Should I cut him loose?

First off, stop trolling or become a better person.

Second, since you are worried about him being able to contribute you must make considerably more than he does.(up to 172k) Only on DCUM is a couple in their early 30s pulling in north of 400k somehow a problem, especially when one of them has excellent benefits and a pension.

The federal pension + healthcare coverage are worth close to $2 million.

[Anonymous]

There is no way that OP isn't a troll.

[Anonymous]

That is a hella lot of money, honey. Top 5% of earners in the US.

Most families in this county live on under 75K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I turned 32 this year and made a resolution to find someone to settle down with. Last month I hit it off with someone who seemed great. The problem is he’s civil service, GS-14.

Everyone I’ve dated in the past has been much higher income (private industry). I’m worried long term I’m going to be resentful if he can’t contribute to our lifestyle.

Should I cut him loose?

First off, stop trolling or become a better person.

Second, since you are worried about him being able to contribute you must make considerably more than he does.(up to 172k) Only on DCUM is a couple in their early 30s pulling in north of 400k somehow a problem, especially when one of them has excellent benefits and a pension.

The federal pension + healthcare coverage are worth close to $2 million.

No, their value is determined by how long he is there and his top salary.