GS-14 Enough?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Insufficient information— how old is *he* and GS14 *what*.

If he’s a 30 y/o GS14 it’s very different than a 40 y/o GS14. Bear in mind the GS14-15 jump is a trap— going into the 15 without your 5-7 year plan for leaving government in place means accepting wage stagnation.

If you don’t know this much about government salaries by 32, living in the DC area, it may be better for you to just continue to date industry.

OP here. He’s 36, and has no interest in ever moving to private practice. It just strikes me as a red flag - not wanting to live up to his full potential.

FWIW I’m in big law and have dated in that realm, or higher income men.

And yet in ten years you aren’t married to any of these men who have what you crave? Makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

I’m a GS-14 stepped out woman with a fantastic retirement savings- close to 2 million, the best health insurance, work at home and incredible job flexibility, great leave benefits.

Why don’t you try it for yourself, OP?

When I met my husband we were making the same $, but once we were engaged he left to go independent and eventually tripled his salaries. It’s my health benefits and job security and the flexibility to be there for the kids that allowed him to do this. My close to $200k salary is just icing on the cake now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They have terms for women like you - unmarried and over the age of 28 - in Asia:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheng_nu

😂

I think one of the biggest changes in dating discourse over the last decade is white women having more and more in common with what poc women have known forever

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a GS-14 stepped out woman with a fantastic retirement savings- close to 2 million, the best health insurance, work at home and incredible job flexibility, great leave benefits.

Why don’t you try it for yourself, OP?

When I met my husband we were making the same $, but once we were engaged he left to go independent and eventually tripled his salaries. It’s my health benefits and job security and the flexibility to be there for the kids that allowed him to do this. My close to $200k salary is just icing on the cake now.

Yes, because your husband makes a lot more money. If OP doesn't want to keep working at a high paying job, or has doubts about its viability long term, she might not want to rely on her husband's GS-14 pay. Not to mention, and I say this as nicely as possible, 2mm isn't THAT much, and perhaps OP wants more savings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a GS-14 stepped out woman with a fantastic retirement savings- close to 2 million, the best health insurance, work at home and incredible job flexibility, great leave benefits.

Why don’t you try it for yourself, OP?

When I met my husband we were making the same $, but once we were engaged he left to go independent and eventually tripled his salaries. It’s my health benefits and job security and the flexibility to be there for the kids that allowed him to do this. My close to $200k salary is just icing on the cake now.

Yes, because your husband makes a lot more money. If OP doesn't want to keep working at a high paying job, or has doubts about its viability long term, she might not want to rely on her husband's GS-14 pay. Not to mention, and I say this as nicely as possible, 2mm isn't THAT much, and perhaps OP wants more savings.

Hmm, wants a luxury lifestyle, but isn't willing to work for it? I doubt that very much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a GS-14 stepped out woman with a fantastic retirement savings- close to 2 million, the best health insurance, work at home and incredible job flexibility, great leave benefits.

Why don’t you try it for yourself, OP?

When I met my husband we were making the same $, but once we were engaged he left to go independent and eventually tripled his salaries. It’s my health benefits and job security and the flexibility to be there for the kids that allowed him to do this. My close to $200k salary is just icing on the cake now.

Yes, because your husband makes a lot more money. If OP doesn't want to keep working at a high paying job, or has doubts about its viability long term, she might not want to rely on her husband's GS-14 pay. Not to mention, and I say this as nicely as possible, 2mm isn't THAT much, and perhaps OP wants more savings.

Hmm, wants a luxury lifestyle, but isn't willing to work for it? I doubt that very much.

Yeah, because no women around here chose their life partners based largely on income to enable themselves to get out of the workforce quickly and become a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a GS-14 stepped out woman with a fantastic retirement savings- close to 2 million, the best health insurance, work at home and incredible job flexibility, great leave benefits.

Why don’t you try it for yourself, OP?

When I met my husband we were making the same $, but once we were engaged he left to go independent and eventually tripled his salaries. It’s my health benefits and job security and the flexibility to be there for the kids that allowed him to do this. My close to $200k salary is just icing on the cake now.

Yes, because your husband makes a lot more money. If OP doesn't want to keep working at a high paying job, or has doubts about its viability long term, she might not want to rely on her husband's GS-14 pay. Not to mention, and I say this as nicely as possible, 2mm isn't THAT much, and perhaps OP wants more savings.

Depends on the age if 2M is good or not. At 40 or younger it’s pretty great. At 60 it’s just OK

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have terms for women like you - unmarried and over the age of 28 - in Asia:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheng_nu

😂

I think one of the biggest changes in dating discourse over the last decade is white women having more and more in common with what poc women have known forever

First, don't be cruel to other women, no matter what their color is, second, what is that knowledge?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a GS-14 stepped out woman with a fantastic retirement savings- close to 2 million, the best health insurance, work at home and incredible job flexibility, great leave benefits.

Why don’t you try it for yourself, OP?

When I met my husband we were making the same $, but once we were engaged he left to go independent and eventually tripled his salaries. It’s my health benefits and job security and the flexibility to be there for the kids that allowed him to do this. My close to $200k salary is just icing on the cake now.

Yes, because your husband makes a lot more money. If OP doesn't want to keep working at a high paying job, or has doubts about its viability long term, she might not want to rely on her husband's GS-14 pay. Not to mention, and I say this as nicely as possible, 2mm isn't THAT much, and perhaps OP wants more savings.

OP can be the high private rocker and husband can be the family anchor, as long as its in the family, who cares if man is bringing it or woman. This is 2023, not 1923.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The most important question here is what does a GS-14 bring to the table?  I am a dermatologist who makes over 800K per year with family money and I am married to a GS-13 step 7 husband.  I was the one pursuing my DH when we first met at the concert where his music band was the opening act for another band.  Because of the government job, DH has a lot of free time to pursue his interests.  He goes to the gym everyday to keep himself in shape.  He practices music everyday while he is working (I don't think this is possible if he works in the private sector).  He plays golf with our children almost everyday.  In other words, he is an amazing husband and father.  On top of that, he is tall, good looking, and an amazing cook.  I already have money, I don't want to be married to another "boring" doctor.  My lifestyle is not going to change if I marry someone who also makes 800K per year.  

Sounds like OP's issue is more than just money.

Excellent post. Thanks for sharing. If OP really is Big Law...I am not clear on why she cares how much the guy makes. Sounds retro/old-fashioned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I so sheltered as to find the OP's post hard to believe? It seems trollish.

To me, GS-14 is a relatively high overall total compensation and sounds more than good enough to me.

I feel the same way as you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I turned 32 this year and made a resolution to find someone to settle down with. Last month I hit it off with someone who seemed great. The problem is he’s civil service, GS-14.

Everyone I’ve dated in the past has been much higher income (private industry). I’m worried long term I’m going to be resentful if he can’t contribute to our lifestyle.

Should I cut him loose?

Cut him loose. I pray I run into him - I’m a 13 and enjoying the hell out of my life and meager salary. I’m working 25 hours a wk and most recently remote in Buenos Aires. So much more to life - cut him loose indeed.

Federal employees can’t work remotely outside of US unless you are stationed there.

Wrong. You can if you apply for temporary remote.

Well out IT systems can’t be connected remotely from another country, so what exactly do you do that doesn’t require a computer but is remote?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I turned 32 this year and made a resolution to find someone to settle down with. Last month I hit it off with someone who seemed great. The problem is he’s civil service, GS-14.

Everyone I’ve dated in the past has been much higher income (private industry). I’m worried long term I’m going to be resentful if he can’t contribute to our lifestyle.

Should I cut him loose?

Cut him loose. I pray I run into him - I’m a 13 and enjoying the hell out of my life and meager salary. I’m working 25 hours a wk and most recently remote in Buenos Aires. So much more to life - cut him loose indeed.

Federal employees can’t work remotely outside of US unless you are stationed there.

Wrong. You can if you apply for temporary remote.

Well out IT systems can’t be connected remotely from another country, so what exactly do you do that doesn’t require a computer but is remote?

Fed here. You are mistaken about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you bring to the table, OP? It better not just be looks, because those will fade.

If she is really hot, that goes along way.

I’ve seen many hot bimbos marry very rich men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Insufficient information— how old is *he* and GS14 *what*.

If he’s a 30 y/o GS14 it’s very different than a 40 y/o GS14. Bear in mind the GS14-15 jump is a trap— going into the 15 without your 5-7 year plan for leaving government in place means accepting wage stagnation.

If you don’t know this much about government salaries by 32, living in the DC area, it may be better for you to just continue to date industry.

OP here. He’s 36, and has no interest in ever moving to private practice. It just strikes me as a red flag - not wanting to live up to his full potential.

FWIW I’m in big law and have dated in that realm, or higher income men.

Having dated big law and struck out, you honestly can’t see how ambition isn’t all it’s cracked up to be? How many partners are on meds just to get through the day? Wouldn’t you rather be happy in Silver Spring than miserable in Potomac?

She struck out because she isn't as high value as she thinks she is otherwise they would have stayed around. When you're a 4 and thinking you're an 8 you're going to strike out. And if you bring masculine energy to the table most guys aren't interested in that long term. They prefer someone who brings them peace, not an argumentative shrew.

OP will most likely childless in her 40s wondering where she went wrong in life and this GS 14 will be happy married to a nurse or teacher.