GS-14 Enough?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my previous career I went through two corporate takeovers and two layoffs and after the second I landed in a fed job. I had a path to GS14 and I knew the salary was sufficient at that grade so I made the tradeoff between pay and stability. I got married and one day my wife of 3 years broke down and declared I wasn't making enough money and that I wasn't giving her the life she wanted. She became constantly angry, uncooperative, and eventually moved out and we divorced.

Frankly, it was devastating to my sense of self-worth.

As a topped-out GS14 I'm bumping up on the fed pay cap and my peers from my pervious career are earning 100K more per year than I am. It is true there is a GIANT pay gap between feds and industry. Comparison is the thief of happiness so I try not to look (yeah, willful blindness). One woman I've dated generally referenced by GS salary before breaking things off and another looked it up and said "yeah, I don't know if the website is accurate but I don't see a future for us."

My conclusion is that for many women it isn't about love and family but rather about competition with other women to snag a "big fish" so they have bragging rights among other women. It's essentially a group of "besties" quietly judging each other over what they "have" and husbands are merely another accessory.

So, yeah, I don't think OP is a troll.

So, isn’t it a blessing for you, then, that your gov job effectively screens out the most shallow and superficial women?

What’s shallow or superficial about considering financial stability?

Well, GS-14 fed has more financial stability than a hedge fund manager making 3 times more.

[Anonymous]

Wow OP, you're gross. What are YOU contributing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Insufficient information— how old is *he* and GS14 *what*.

If he’s a 30 y/o GS14 it’s very different than a 40 y/o GS14. Bear in mind the GS14-15 jump is a trap— going into the 15 without your 5-7 year plan for leaving government in place means accepting wage stagnation.

If you don’t know this much about government salaries by 32, living in the DC area, it may be better for you to just continue to date industry.

OP here. He’s 36, and has no interest in ever moving to private practice. It just strikes me as a red flag - not wanting to live up to his full potential.

FWIW I’m in big law and have dated in that realm, or higher income men.

EW. Girl boss alert. Everyone must give in to the corporate warlords and serve them with fealty. Scramble to the top and die. Please let him go OP. There are plenty of women who would appreciate him and you are just going to put him down.

+1

The Grim Reaper is coming for all of us and working in “Big Law” doesn’t make you immortal.

[Anonymous]

I'm getting strong vibes that OP will be some BigLaw punk's AP and be constantly begging him to leave his wife while he claims he loves her. Then she'll call the wife to homewreck and he'll dump her.

[Anonymous]

Am I so sheltered as to find the OP's post hard to believe? It seems trollish.

To me, GS-14 is a relatively high overall total compensation and sounds more than good enough to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my previous career I went through two corporate takeovers and two layoffs and after the second I landed in a fed job. I had a path to GS14 and I knew the salary was sufficient at that grade so I made the tradeoff between pay and stability. I got married and one day my wife of 3 years broke down and declared I wasn't making enough money and that I wasn't giving her the life she wanted. She became constantly angry, uncooperative, and eventually moved out and we divorced.

Frankly, it was devastating to my sense of self-worth.

As a topped-out GS14 I'm bumping up on the fed pay cap and my peers from my pervious career are earning 100K more per year than I am. It is true there is a GIANT pay gap between feds and industry. Comparison is the thief of happiness so I try not to look (yeah, willful blindness). One woman I've dated generally referenced by GS salary before breaking things off and another looked it up and said "yeah, I don't know if the website is accurate but I don't see a future for us."

My conclusion is that for many women it isn't about love and family but rather about competition with other women to snag a "big fish" so they have bragging rights among other women. It's essentially a group of "besties" quietly judging each other over what they "have" and husbands are merely another accessory.

So, yeah, I don't think OP is a troll.

So, isn’t it a blessing for you, then, that your gov job effectively screens out the most shallow and superficial women?

What’s shallow or superficial about considering financial stability?

Is there a more financially stable job on the planet than a federal GS position?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I turned 32 this year and made a resolution to find someone to settle down with. Last month I hit it off with someone who seemed great. The problem is he’s civil service, GS-14.

Everyone I’ve dated in the past has been much higher income (private industry). I’m worried long term I’m going to be resentful if he can’t contribute to our lifestyle.

Should I cut him loose?

Warms my heart to read another true love story.

[Anonymous]

They have terms for women like you - unmarried and over the age of 28 - in Asia:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheng_nu

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They have terms for women like you - unmarried and over the age of 28 - in Asia:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheng_nu

WOW. I’m so glad I didn’t know about this term when I was single in my early 30s. WOW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They have terms for women like you - unmarried and over the age of 28 - in Asia:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheng_nu

Anyone using such terms for another human, should be ashamed. A men or women's worth isn't tied to their marital or employment, racial or religious status.

[Anonymous]

In Singapore, a match-making agency Social Development Unit (SDU) was set up to promote socializing among men and women graduates.

[Anonymous]

Its mind boggling stuff. Why these things doesn't happen to men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who views a career in high-level government lawyering as “not living up to potential” has priorities that will not make this match work. Go after your own values; you treasure big money earners.

+1. You value what you value and that is money and probably ambition + whatever else. If you can’t be happy with this guy then move on. At 32 you don’t want to waste your time or his time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Insufficient information— how old is *he* and GS14 *what*.

If he’s a 30 y/o GS14 it’s very different than a 40 y/o GS14. Bear in mind the GS14-15 jump is a trap— going into the 15 without your 5-7 year plan for leaving government in place means accepting wage stagnation.

If you don’t know this much about government salaries by 32, living in the DC area, it may be better for you to just continue to date industry.

OP here. He’s 36, and has no interest in ever moving to private practice. It just strikes me as a red flag - not wanting to live up to his full potential.

FWIW I’m in big law and have dated in that realm, or higher income men.

Well dayam. You go girl!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:C'mon folks this is DCUM.
Home of women who expect their men to make at least 500K a year, have a net value of at least 10M, and be ultra and stupidly progressive.
And who endlessly complain that there are no available men, just incels.
Of course release this poor, poor "low earning" man so that a nice woman may hope to find him.

Can u point me to these threads about incels? I have a desire to read them.