How worried to be about birth defects with advanced maternal age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two beautiful children that I had at ages 31 and 33. I am 35 now and my husband and I are arguing over whether to have a third. I desperately want one more, but he leans no (with the door still open enough to give me hope), and one of his reasons is that he's so worried about the risk of a baby with something wrong with it (chromosomal, special needs, birth defect etc). He says it's a prospect he can't even bear, especially because of how unfair that would be to the older two.

I would like to give him data or reassurance, but I can't deny that the fear seeps into me, too, not to mention how guilty I'd feel if something did happen after he was so open about his fear.

Can anyone share resources for this, or know off-hand what the general risks would be? By the time this baby would be born we would be 36 (almost 37) and 37 (DH). We have no family history of health issues. We did genetic testing and are clear. We have two healthy, full term, normal weight babies with healthy noneventful pregnancies.

Thank you!

Not at all there is genetic testing available for all ages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:35 really isn't that old--in fact, in some circles in DC, it's young to have a baby! The odds are higher as you age but in absolute terms the risks are very low. And you can do a blood test basically as soon as you get a positive test that will find the most common chromosomal issues.

Learning Disabilities are much more common among children born to mothers over 35. In most cases these are mild and wouldn’t be obvious to anyone who wasn’t intimately familiar with the child’s academic performance.

Citation?

[Anonymous]

this entire thread scares me so much - i'm 30 and not planning on TTC for another few years. just another thing to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this entire thread scares me so much - i'm 30 and not planning on TTC for another few years. just another thing to worry about.

Don’t listen to the chicken littles. Women have been having babies past age 35 for all of history. There is no door that slams shut at age 35.

[Anonymous]

I had my third at 34 (2 months before turning 35). I am extremely risk adverse and had amniocentesis with my second (at 31) and third (at 34). DH and I had genetic tests done with our third (not sure those were available with previous pregnancies). We really wanted to rule out any abnormalities and knew we would terminate if something was wrong.
However, the geneticist at our appointment told us that while we did all screenings we could, we only covered about 30% of possible conditions. There are many other issues they don’t test for. I believe they also said that 1 in 10 (or perhaps was 1 out of 100) babies are born with some sort of malformation.

My point is that while risks are low, they are there.

By having a third, you are increasing your chances that something goes wrong.

All of my children are fine for now, but they could develop something later on or have a learning disability (my third is only 4).

I feel so lucky that I had 3 healthy (at least for now) children, but looking back and knowing how hard it is with 3, I feel we would not have survived having a third child with disabilities. We are stretched thin as it is and all my kids need always more (and it increases as they get older).

For what is worth, I was “young” but my husband is 11 years older than me and was 46 when our third was born.

Good luck OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL had BOTH her kids after 35 (38 and 43) and both came out with zero defects or delays. The two people I know whose babies had Downs were under 35 when their kids were born.

While it is commendable that your SIL had healthy children after the age of 35, it is important to note that individual anecdotes cannot be used to make generalizations or dismiss the potential risks associated with advanced maternal age. Here are some statistics and information to refute the statement and highlight the dangers of spreading misinformation:

1. Increased risk of chromosomal abnormalities: Advanced maternal age, typically defined as 35 years and older, is associated with a higher risk of chromosomal abnormalities in babies. For example, the risk of Down syndrome significantly increases with maternal age. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the risk of having a baby with Down syndrome at age 35 is about 1 in 350, while at age 40, it increases to about 1 in 100, and by age 45, it becomes approximately 1 in 30.

2. Risk of other genetic disorders: Advanced maternal age also increases the risk of other genetic disorders, such as trisomy 18 and trisomy 13. These conditions can lead to severe developmental delays, intellectual disabilities, and various physical abnormalities.

3. Health complications for the mother: Pregnancy after the age of 35 carries higher risks for the mother as well. Women of advanced maternal age have an increased likelihood of developing gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, and other pregnancy-related complications. These conditions can have long-term health consequences for both the mother and the baby.

4. Statistical evidence: While anecdotes can be compelling, it is crucial to rely on broader statistical evidence to assess risks accurately. Large-scale studies and data analysis consistently demonstrate an association between advanced maternal age and an increased likelihood of chromosomal abnormalities and other pregnancy complications.

5. Consultation with healthcare professionals: When it comes to matters of pregnancy and reproductive health, it is always advisable to consult with healthcare professionals who can provide evidence-based information tailored to individual circumstances. They can assess personal risk factors, provide appropriate prenatal testing options, and offer guidance based on the most up-to-date medical knowledge.

It is essential to stop spreading dangerous information that downplays the potential risks associated with advanced maternal age. By relying on accurate statistics and seeking reliable medical advice, individuals can make informed decisions about their reproductive health and better understand the potential challenges they may face.

As others have said - and most importantly - you can test for so many chromosomal abnormalities during the pregnancy. If you are willing to TRMR, then your chances of having an issue with a child goes WAYYYYY DOWN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two beautiful children that I had at ages 31 and 33. I am 35 now and my husband and I are arguing over whether to have a third. I desperately want one more, but he leans no (with the door still open enough to give me hope), and one of his reasons is that he's so worried about the risk of a baby with something wrong with it (chromosomal, special needs, birth defect etc). He says it's a prospect he can't even bear, especially because of how unfair that would be to the older two.

I would like to give him data or reassurance, but I can't deny that the fear seeps into me, too, not to mention how guilty I'd feel if something did happen after he was so open about his fear.

Can anyone share resources for this, or know off-hand what the general risks would be? By the time this baby would be born we would be 36 (almost 37) and 37 (DH). We have no family history of health issues. We did genetic testing and are clear. We have two healthy, full term, normal weight babies with healthy noneventful pregnancies.

Thank you!

35 is fine, OP. Oldest I would go, since you asked, but 35 is fine.

[Anonymous]

Every person is so different. I am sure we will learn as science advances that one person’s 35 is not the same as another’s.

Everything about my husband and I seems young - we look young, our health is v good, have put on zero weight from aging, in good shape etc. I got pregnant accidentally at 38 after 1 time having sex in the month. Yes, I am worried about things being wrong but the testing is very good these days and imaging is very powerful (let alone invasive testing).

Your background also matters a lot - what evidence in your family. I am willing to bet most people w/ kids who have issues have some family history of it. Not a substantial majority necessarily, but most.

The obsession w/ Down Syndrome on this thread is bizarre. Literally the easiest thing to test for in th e pregnancy w/ the highest accuracy. But if you won’t terminate for it, then ya, that’s a different story.

[Anonymous]

I was 37. Chances are low, but my fetus had a genetic abnormality. I had to terminate. Even though the chances see 2-3%, I unfortunately was that 2-3%. It does happen. It’s devastating.

[Anonymous]

Also, OP’s post title is “birth defects” - I mean, that’s a particular category of issues. And really the kind you see on imaging - which is very advanced. Like an issue w/ brain, spine, heart, kidneys, limbs etc. A great majority of that is caught on ultrasound.

You ahve to wait until 2nd tri to know, so it really is just a question of termination. But if you are so obsessed w avoiding birth defects, seems like you should be OK w/ that…

[Anonymous]

Are you comfortable with termination? Most age-related issues can be caught in utero.

[Anonymous]

I’ve had one chromosomally abnormal pregnancy, at age 38, followed by two normal, healthy pregnancies at 40 and 44.

[Anonymous]

There's a reason so many children require special education support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My story - I had always conceived immediately, every time for 4 pregnancies. However, at 36 my really awful journey started with a 15 week loss then more losses, IVF where 66% of the embryos were abnormal.

I had no way to know that I would be completely infertile after 35 and essentially producing mostly abnormal embryos, but based on the stats, that's average.

No, that is not average. That is abnormal. Most women can have healthy babies at 35 and 35+.

[Anonymous]

It can happen at any age. It’s a risk you take. Once you have a kid, something can happen even if they are born healthy. Having a child is like having your heart live outside your body. It’s a major loss of control over your own well being because things CAN happen to your kid and that will affect you deeply.

You DH simply doesn’t want a third child. I think it’s important to consider his wishes very seriously. I know a few people whose marriages nearly crumbled after #3 came along. If you both want a third, I think risks are very low at your age. But you should do it because you’re both fully on board.