How worried to be about birth defects with advanced maternal age?

[Anonymous]

I have two beautiful children that I had at ages 31 and 33. I am 35 now and my husband and I are arguing over whether to have a third. I desperately want one more, but he leans no (with the door still open enough to give me hope), and one of his reasons is that he's so worried about the risk of a baby with something wrong with it (chromosomal, special needs, birth defect etc). He says it's a prospect he can't even bear, especially because of how unfair that would be to the older two.

I would like to give him data or reassurance, but I can't deny that the fear seeps into me, too, not to mention how guilty I'd feel if something did happen after he was so open about his fear.

Can anyone share resources for this, or know off-hand what the general risks would be? By the time this baby would be born we would be 36 (almost 37) and 37 (DH). We have no family history of health issues. We did genetic testing and are clear. We have two healthy, full term, normal weight babies with healthy noneventful pregnancies.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

I was 41 when I had my only. Three women on my block were 43. No problems.

[Anonymous]

Your age is not the issue - you are still young. The issue is that you now have two kids and so the toll and impact of something going wrong with the third would be more difficult to manage. The stakes are higher now and that can’t be changed. He has a lower tolerance for the potential impact of something going wrong. I don’t think you can change that with data. I think you can just both talk through your hopes and fears and see where it gets you.

[Anonymous]

Be concerned and monitor closely don't listen to the people on here they think they can defy science

[Anonymous]

At 35 I wouldn't worry, but would certainly opt in to all the noninvasive testing that your insurance covers and your OB recommends. NIPT, etc.

[Anonymous]

My genetic counselor told us we should proceed with full confidence through 36.

[Anonymous]

My SIL had BOTH her kids after 35 (38 and 43) and both came out with zero defects or delays. The two people I know whose babies had Downs were under 35 when their kids were born.

[Anonymous]

Last two were 38 and 40. No problems, no regrets.

[Anonymous]

You're not old. Is your husband old?

[Anonymous]

35 really isn't that old--in fact, in some circles in DC, it's young to have a baby! The odds are higher as you age but in absolute terms the risks are very low. And you can do a blood test basically as soon as you get a positive test that will find the most common chromosomal issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:35 really isn't that old--in fact, in some circles in DC, it's young to have a baby! The odds are higher as you age but in absolute terms the risks are very low. And you can do a blood test basically as soon as you get a positive test that will find the most common chromosomal issues.

Wrong it's old af

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two beautiful children that I had at ages 31 and 33. I am 35 now and my husband and I are arguing over whether to have a third. I desperately want one more, but he leans no (with the door still open enough to give me hope), and one of his reasons is that he's so worried about the risk of a baby with something wrong with it (chromosomal, special needs, birth defect etc). He says it's a prospect he can't even bear, especially because of how unfair that would be to the older two.

I would like to give him data or reassurance, but I can't deny that the fear seeps into me, too, not to mention how guilty I'd feel if something did happen after he was so open about his fear.

Can anyone share resources for this, or know off-hand what the general risks would be? By the time this baby would be born we would be 36 (almost 37) and 37 (DH). We have no family history of health issues. We did genetic testing and are clear. We have two healthy, full term, normal weight babies with healthy noneventful pregnancies.

Thank you!

make sure you're taking prenatals now and your husband isn't drinking! the birth detect concern is minimal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be concerned and monitor closely don't listen to the people on here they think they can defy science

this isn't defying science - the women of yesteryear who had 12+ children were all having children past 35. you have no idea WHAT you are talking about.

[Anonymous]

They have pretty advanced screening now, especially if you push for the most comprehensive panel. I would go for it if you are comfortable with terminating in the first trimester due to bad screening results.

Most likely everything will be fine. The odds are vastly in your favor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL had BOTH her kids after 35 (38 and 43) and both came out with zero defects or delays. The two people I know whose babies had Downs were under 35 when their kids were born.

While it is commendable that your SIL had healthy children after the age of 35, it is important to note that individual anecdotes cannot be used to make generalizations or dismiss the potential risks associated with advanced maternal age. Here are some statistics and information to refute the statement and highlight the dangers of spreading misinformation:

1. Increased risk of chromosomal abnormalities: Advanced maternal age, typically defined as 35 years and older, is associated with a higher risk of chromosomal abnormalities in babies. For example, the risk of Down syndrome significantly increases with maternal age. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the risk of having a baby with Down syndrome at age 35 is about 1 in 350, while at age 40, it increases to about 1 in 100, and by age 45, it becomes approximately 1 in 30.

2. Risk of other genetic disorders: Advanced maternal age also increases the risk of other genetic disorders, such as trisomy 18 and trisomy 13. These conditions can lead to severe developmental delays, intellectual disabilities, and various physical abnormalities.

3. Health complications for the mother: Pregnancy after the age of 35 carries higher risks for the mother as well. Women of advanced maternal age have an increased likelihood of developing gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, and other pregnancy-related complications. These conditions can have long-term health consequences for both the mother and the baby.

4. Statistical evidence: While anecdotes can be compelling, it is crucial to rely on broader statistical evidence to assess risks accurately. Large-scale studies and data analysis consistently demonstrate an association between advanced maternal age and an increased likelihood of chromosomal abnormalities and other pregnancy complications.

5. Consultation with healthcare professionals: When it comes to matters of pregnancy and reproductive health, it is always advisable to consult with healthcare professionals who can provide evidence-based information tailored to individual circumstances. They can assess personal risk factors, provide appropriate prenatal testing options, and offer guidance based on the most up-to-date medical knowledge.

It is essential to stop spreading dangerous information that downplays the potential risks associated with advanced maternal age. By relying on accurate statistics and seeking reliable medical advice, individuals can make informed decisions about their reproductive health and better understand the potential challenges they may face.